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I Still Don’t Feel Fulfilled

#21
We`re all in the same boat with this covid crap goin` `round.​
I`m with you as I can barely stand to go down into my studio anymore. But I DO know what WILL get me back into the groove is getting together a good jam session with other live musicians. There`s only so much you can do on your own. Once you get some group time down, you`ll know if this is what you want to do.
 
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#22
Jalen Fuller said:
Yes, some times I feel that maybe I only wanted to go into music to make up for being the kid left out in school and being about to shine above the others that deemed me as an outcast.
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Aw, man. I'm sorry you had that experience. I have my own demons from middle school, so I am sympathetic. But there are lots of ways to avenge your rejection! Music is one of them, but you can certainly make your own rules up as you go along - if you're not counting on it for a living. You can shine in any career that interests you.

Beyond education and career, you can take care of yourself physically, eat well and exercise, travel, read, learn about other cultures... and one day you'll look back at those who once looked down on you and silently return the gesture. It won't haunt you forever. Be your own person.

I am still passionate about music 45 years after first getting into it. If it had been my actual job, well, no freaking way that would have remained the case. I'd rather put up with difficult people, unrealistic demands, poorly organized projects, and financial disappointments in a "real" job* with a regular paycheck and a 401(k). :)

*No disrespect intended to pro musicians - quite the opposite, actually.
 
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#24
Jalen Fuller said:
Yes, some times I feel that maybe I only wanted to go into music to make up for being the kid left out in school and being about to shine above the others that deemed me as an outcast.
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@Jalen Fuller That's heavy, and I think I feel ya. It just doesn't sound as if you feel like you're shining.

First, you can always do music as a hobby, entertainment, worship, personal pleasure, "this is mine." For life.

Maybe it's time to assess and maybe reset your general direction. I regret not being more assertive with my parents about my post-high-school education. I'm 57 now and have spent much of my career "falling into" the next thing. But I've never made my living or built my life around anything I'm passionate about. Maybe that's asking a lot from life, but I can easily point to people I know who are making it happen.

They say if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life (I have at least 4 friends who live this -- but it's not always easy). And life's too short to live purposeless and miserable. So ask yourself, "What gets me out of bed in the morning? What do I really love to do? What makes me feel happy and successful? Can I make a career out of those things?"

Again, you don't have to give up music. But it sounds like you may need to re-think your bigger picture. The good news is a) you're young and b) you can always change your mind. You have more choices than you might realize.

Good luck, we're with you.
 
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#25
Jalen Fuller said:
Yes, some times I feel that maybe I only wanted to go into music to make up for being the kid left out in school and being about to shine above the others that deemed me as an outcast.
Click to expand...

Trying to force yourself to become a musician isn't a terribly effective substitute for professional therapy if you have personal issues you need to work out and find it difficult to do so on your own. There's no shame in seeking that kind of help. It takes a level of self honesty and courage anyone should well be proud of. Taking charge of your own life by doing whatever is necessary is never anything to be ashamed of.

And who knows? Once you better understand and get past the inner conflict that seems to be holding you back you just might decide to pursue music - and more likely succeed - if that's what you really want to do.
 
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#27
There's no shame in going to a music minor and focusing more time on exploring some other classes and degree programs you might be interested in. In my school this was pretty common, especially among the guitar players (I think because they didn't have as many ensembles to participate in to keep them motivated, but that's just my $.02). Some guys even came back to a music degree, so nothing has to be permanent. You may even find that you have more time to get into a band that motivates you, date people, or find another passion in life that you want to pursue. You're young, do being young for a while, it's a good thing.
 
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#28
Maybe it's time for you to reevaluate your long term goals. Be completely honest with yourself about this. If music is what you really want to do, make a list of short term goals that will get you closer to your main goal. It's easier to feel good about your accomplishments when you are consistently achieving them, and eventually, you will reach your long term goal. Remember, being honest with yourself about what you want is the way to achieve your goals and feel good about your decisions.
 
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#31
smeet said:
Not everyone is cut out to be a professional musician. I LOVE practicing and playing my instrument, and yet, one of the most valuable things I learned by attending Berklee was that I should not depend on playing for my living. A few decades later, I still practice and improve every day, I can afford to buy the equipment I want, and I play because I love it, not because my paycheck depends on it.

this is a very personal decision of course, but there is no shame in deciding that music is not the right career for you. Even if you love music. Even if you are super talented. Don't put yourself in a box of your own making. I love making music. I also love my day job. Find your own way.
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This was also my path... I love to play, even live to play, but I learned early on that the music I loved and lived to play was not commercially viable. So, I went back to school and learned a new trade, but never gave up playing.
 
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#34
Jalen Fuller said:
Even after saying I was going to stick with playing bass in my music program in college I still am not feeling fulfilled. I just don't have the urge to really practice it besides a couple Basslines on my mind. It's horrible I gave up on guitar and now I'm heading down that path with bass. I don't even know how I'll keep up in my music program if I am not motivated to practice the instruments that I supposedly play. I've played some keys but I'm still a beginner and I thought of practicing that as I have to take it as a class in the winter but is that even really worth trying to hold on to my place in the music program anymore? It's like I'm my own enemy trying to listen to the optimistic comments here knowing they'll only give me satisfaction for what? Two days. I feel if I just listen to what the universe is telling me I'll be free. I need help!!! I've lost my touch with music.
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What bass do you play?.....:)
 
#35
Jalen Fuller said:
Even after saying I was going to stick with playing bass in my music program in college I still am not feeling fulfilled. I just don't have the urge to really practice it besides a couple Basslines on my mind. It's horrible I gave up on guitar and now I'm heading down that path with bass. I don't even know how I'll keep up in my music program if I am not motivated to practice the instruments that I supposedly play. I've played some keys but I'm still a beginner and I thought of practicing that as I have to take it as a class in the winter but is that even really worth trying to hold on to my place in the music program anymore? It's like I'm my own enemy trying to listen to the optimistic comments here knowing they'll only give me satisfaction for what? Two days. I feel if I just listen to what the universe is telling me I'll be free. I need help!!! I've lost my touch with music.
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Jalen: Nothing you've said in any of your posts remotely suggests you need any therapy, as some people have suggested. You are a 'thinking' young man. Young with your whole life ahead of you. You haven't yet discovered what will make you feel fulfilled. Because you're still searching, does NOT mean anything is wrong with you. Music may not be your "thing". It may be something else to do in the music business, instead. Lyric writer, manager, promoter, ...etc. You may rather write about music, or review music. Many people discover after a few years of playing, that they really enjoy listening rather than playing. You may do something different than what you have chosen in college. You may not even need college for your eventual job. It doesn't mean you are faulty somehow, because you're not sure if you want to be a musician! Take some time. You're young and without any serious commitments yet. Stop pushing yourself. Enjoy this time. Spend some time alone, just to figure out what makes you feel happy. Then - you'll be on your way to being fulfilled. Don't let anyone tell you that you need therapy, or that anything is wrong with you, just because you haven't figured out what you want to do with your life.
 
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#36
If your satisfaction ebbs as often as a few days at a time, and you're in college, I'd suggest you change your major now, before you waste time on something that sounds like it's destined to be a hobby.

Most people in the music business that get PAID THE MOST in said business have business degrees - sometimes backed by arts degrees, but not music degrees. Some don't even play an instrument. That's why it's called "Music Business"
 
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#37
Chad Michael said:
Jalen, I appreciate that you are wearing your heart on your sleeve, it is not an easy thing to do.

Have you ever played a live performance for a live audience? That is all it took for me. It is unmentionably gratifying to be a part of the reason that a bunch of people are having a good time.
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Join a working band (when it can happen!) with people that are older and better than yourself. Joining a band like that will have you putting in the time to learn, rehearse and strive to keep up with their expectations, as well as your own. Putting all together, gives it purpose. At least it's one way that worked for myself, which eventually lead to inspiring me to better my playing personally.
 
#39
40Hz said:
Trying to force yourself to become a musician isn't a terribly effective substitute for professional therapy if you have personal issues you need to work out and find it difficult to do so on your own. There's no shame in seeking that kind of help. It takes a level of self honesty and courage anyone should well be proud of. Taking charge of your own life by doing whatever is necessary is never anything to be ashamed of.

And who knows? Once you better understand and get past the inner conflict that seems to be holding you back you just might decide to pursue music - and more likely succeed - if that's what you really want to do.
Click to expand...

jchrisk1 said:
Maybe it's time for you to reevaluate your long term goals. Be completely honest with yourself about this. If music is what you really want to do, make a list of short term goals that will get you closer to your main goal. It's easier to feel good about your accomplishments when you are consistently achieving them, and eventually, you will reach your long term goal. Remember, being honest with yourself about what you want is the way to achieve your goals and feel good about your decisions.
Click to expand...
I think the problem is I don't know what kind of pro bassist to be. I see all these videos of these bassist with lots of fills and crazy tricks and I've gotten by without such so far and now I feel a bit out of touch.
 
#40
Jalen Fuller said:
I think the problem is I don't know what kind of pro bassist to be. I see all these videos of these bassist with lots of fills and crazy tricks and I've gotten by without such so far and now I feel a bit out of touch.
Click to expand...

In that case stop over analyzing and pick something.

As the saying goes: If you have no destination in mind, any direction will do. :)
 

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