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I'm really beginning to dislike my guitarist...

#21
Yeah the guitarist should have told you the time he expected you much sooner.

The part I don't understand is that it was 8:00 PM the night of the gig and you still hadn't taken the initiative to confirm what time the gig was. I'm just saying...

At least he ranted at you instead of just sending you an email saying you were out of the band. ;)
 
#23
mellowinman said:
If we were playing at eleven, I would've expected you there by seven.

Ten?

Six.

And all of that would've been set in stone before the day of the show.

Dinner?

Eat dinner AFTER sound check.

How do you guys load in, set up, tweak the EQ for the mains AND the monitors, and have everything done in an hour or less?
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This is all entirely irrelevant to the situation at hand.
 
#24
fep said:
Yeah the guitarist should have told you the time he expected you much sooner.

The part I don't understand is that it was 8:00 PM the night of the gig and you still hadn't taken the initiative to confirm what time the gig was. I'm just saying...

At least he ranted at you instead of just sending you an email saying you were out of the band. ;)
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Point taken. It was somewhat assumed on my part that the gig wouldn't start til 11pm as that has been our normal starting time for most gigs. I can admit to that. Still, if he's the one booking the gig then he should of informed me that our setup time was earlier. He didn't seem to have any problem letting our sub drummer know what time we were expected :hmm:

pnut166 said:
Sounds to me like he intended / planned for you to be late. I`d tell him you`re too old to play games - if he has some ulterior motive, you`d appreciate it if he`d grow up, be a man, and speak his mind.
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As sad as it is, I think you're right.

I've honestly never been late to a rehearsal or gig before in my life. My high school band instructor always said that early was on time, on time was late, and late was you getting canned - and I've applied that logic to every aspect of my life since those days.

When he was giving me that lecture about professionalism after the gig I was really taken aback because it was so out of left field. He made it sound as if I've been chronically late to things, when that's far from the truth. I've almost always been the first one to show up for a gig or rehearsal, and I have always been the most prepared. When other bandmates had forgotten power strips, picks, tuners, cables, etc. guess who always had spares... Yours truly.
 
#26
Guy's not worth your time.
If you end up leaving, you can easily find a better situation with like-minded people through CL, kijiji, etc.
If he ends up firing you, your response should be a simple thank you & not a word more. He'll be satisfyingly perplexed. Either outcome would be his fault and the grass is not often greener elsewhere for guys like that. You, I have hope for...

In fact, right before you make a move, I'd talk with the other members to see where they stand with him. Might they feel the same as you do?
 
#27
There is something about you he doesn't like. Instead of manning up and being honest with you about it, he's going to dump on you until you quit.

It won't get better. Find another deal and then leave. Maybe the rest of the band could reform with a different guitarist and leave him.

Regardless, it won't get better. Get yourself together and get out.

Koog.
 
#29
When he was giving me that lecture about professionalism after the gig I was really taken aback because it was so out of left field. He made it sound as if I've been chronically late to things, when that's far from the truth. I've almost always been the first one to show up for a gig or rehearsal, and I have always been the most prepared.
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This is a simple act of bullying, he knows you won't retaliate as from you post, it seems he has been bullying you for the past 2 years already. So he racks on you to make himself feel superior and keep you in your place. This happens everywhere, work place, family, relationships etc etc. Bullies are everywhere, just move on and bring your friends who enjoys the music and craps on the politics.. I can tell you it is a lot easier to find a replacement guitarist than a good drummer or bass player!!!

Good luck mate, hope it turns out good for ya but you have to stand up for yourself cos no one else will until you do!!!

:bassist: rock on..
 
#30
mellowinman said:
If we were playing at eleven, I would've expected you there by seven.

Ten?

Six.

And all of that would've been set in stone before the day of the show.

Dinner?

Eat dinner AFTER sound check.

How do you guys load in, set up, tweak the EQ for the mains AND the monitors, and have everything done in an hour or less?
Click to expand...

And this has exactly what to do with the OP's situation? Are you angling for the OP's job?
 
#33
Talk to the drummer, tell him you're bailing and does he want to come with. Guitarists are dime a dozen. Then wait to text him and tell him you quit until 20 minutes AFTER your next gig starts and he's wondering where the hell the bass player and the drummer are.

If the drummer decides to stay with the guitar player, then just punch the guitarist in the mouth and tell them both to eff off.
 
#34
Floyd Eye said:
Talk to the drummer, tell him you're bailing and does he want to come with. Guitarists are dime a dozen. Then wait to text him and tell him you quit until 20 minutes AFTER your next gig starts and he's wondering where the hell the bass player and the drummer are.

If the drummer decides to stay with the guitar player, then just punch the guitarist in the mouth and tell them both to eff off.
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The only issue with this, otherwise I'd go with this advice, is that the drummer for the trio is also the drummer for the original band. So for me, I'm trying to juggle relationships so that I don't end up being the man out (especially in regards to the original group). I feel like this is an issue that just needs to be worked through and not one that can be solved by one person quitting or being axed.
 
#35
jmattbassplaya said:
The only issue with this, otherwise I'd go with this advice, is that the drummer for the trio is also the drummer for the original band. So for me, I'm trying to juggle relationships so that I don't end up being the man out (especially in regards to the original group). I feel like this is an issue that just needs to be worked through and not one that can be solved by one person quitting or being axed.
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First of all, you are a bass player man, you can find another band in about 15 minutes, pure and simple. Second of all, if you are one of the main writers in the original group, take your stuff with you if the drummer decides you are the odd man out. If you aren't one of the main writers you have little to lose anyway.

Do try to take the drummer with you if he's good. Brother, you cannot stay in this situation and Mr. Guitard is obviously trying to get rid of you so leave on YOUR terms.
 
#36
Maybe it has nothing to do with any of this? Perhaps he's just ticked that those new Delano's you popped into your bass are blowing him sonically out of the water. Hence why he seems so quick to threaten to replace you.
 
#37
jmattbassplaya said:
The only issue with this, otherwise I'd go with this advice, is that the drummer for the trio is also the drummer for the original band. So for me, I'm trying to juggle relationships so that I don't end up being the man out (especially in regards to the original group). I feel like this is an issue that just needs to be worked through and not one that can be solved by one person quitting or being axed.
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Isn't the guitar player in both bands also? If so, talk to the drummer about the issue and see what's he's take on it and then you'll know where you're at with that part of the puzzle also...:(
 
#38
I dealt with this kind of **** for almost 3 years and I can confirm that it's not worth it. I was in a band with a dude who gave absolutely no credit to anyone he played with yet always touted the "a band sticks together" line. Admittedly he was the main songwriter, but it's not like he wrote your part for you. He came in with a riff and everyone came up with what they did. That said he refused to acknowledge anyone else as contributing to "his" songs. If you tried constructive criticism you got "YOU WRITE THE F**KING SONG THEN* followed by a hissy fit. Music shouldn't be an office job with a dick manager. Anything artistic is too important to be ruined by an idiot like that dude. I quit music for 2 years because this whole situation left such a bad taste in my mouth. Don't let the same thing happen to you.
 
#40
mellowinman said:
You're right. I'll try to be more helpful.

Yes, the guitarist is a jerk, a diva, and a loony. I suggest hooking up with his girlfriend, denting his car, and saying bad things about him on an anonymous internet forum.

Now someone tell me how they set up that quickly, PLEASE?
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It takes you 4 hours to set up? I'm sorry, but that feels way way WAY too long. Are you setting up an orchestra?!
Sorry. That feels like a meticulously long time to set up... anyways.


To Jmatt, you have always seemed like a very mature, understandable person on this forum. You have been a very helpful and understandable contributor to Talkbass. I find it comical that this person would say something so... out there. The only thing I could think of is that this guy really has a problem with you, and he wants to find an excuse to dislike you, irregardless of how completely stupid the reason may be. Of course, if it were the guitarist on this forum, we would have agreed with him. Talkbass is inevitably bias. >.<
 

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