Although that nick name was given to me years ago by band mates because of my playing style.... unfortunately
the wife uses it also.....
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Im so lonely
- Thread starter Samthebassist
- Start date
Although that nick name was given to me years ago by band mates because of my playing style.... unfortunately
the wife uses it also.....
I feel the same way Sam, it really is no fun at all. Its just a rut, hopefully we all get out of it soon.
I know the feeling. Unfortunately, when I am around people, I am so incredibly insecure and paranoid that I often construct a false, hostile conception of them in my mind and try to avoid all contact with them. You know how weird it feels to desperately want someone to talk to but hate the act of talking in general? Doesn't even make sense to me.
The solution? Well, I used to write a lot but lately some negative thoughts are so ambiguous it's impossible to describe them. So I resort to distraction via funny Youtube videos like this:
Guy runs into wall - YouTube
The solution? Well, I used to write a lot but lately some negative thoughts are so ambiguous it's impossible to describe them. So I resort to distraction via funny Youtube videos like this:
Guy runs into wall - YouTube
Sometimes people just want sympathy and sometimes they want advice. So first off, being lonely sucks. Been there, including the alone-in-a-crowd thing. At least it gives you time to get some practicing done.
How come you're so lonely? Is it that your friends are away or unavailable or something, or just that you have a hard time making friends in the first place? Your profile says you're 18, are you still in school or are you working or what?
If you're looking for advice, I would say don't spend all your time on the internet, it just reinforces real-world isolation with virtual pseudo-relationships. Go to a church or a bar or coffee shop or bookstore or (obvious ones for musicians) music store or open mike or whatever your thing is and just hang around. If you're a shy type, just go and be there by yourself, but do it often so that the people there start to think of you as a "regular" and you get familiar with the other "regulars" just by sight. Eventually people will start saying "hi" and then having conversations more than "hi" and next thing you know you've started to have some friends. Give it a little time.
How come you're so lonely? Is it that your friends are away or unavailable or something, or just that you have a hard time making friends in the first place? Your profile says you're 18, are you still in school or are you working or what?
If you're looking for advice, I would say don't spend all your time on the internet, it just reinforces real-world isolation with virtual pseudo-relationships. Go to a church or a bar or coffee shop or bookstore or (obvious ones for musicians) music store or open mike or whatever your thing is and just hang around. If you're a shy type, just go and be there by yourself, but do it often so that the people there start to think of you as a "regular" and you get familiar with the other "regulars" just by sight. Eventually people will start saying "hi" and then having conversations more than "hi" and next thing you know you've started to have some friends. Give it a little time.
Getting a pet helps. I recommend rats, they make amazing pets, great company. They're very intelligent and sociable and loving.
I have two, and when I don't feel well or feel a bit down, they climb up on to my shoulder and nestle their faces against my cheek
I have two, and when I don't feel well or feel a bit down, they climb up on to my shoulder and nestle their faces against my cheek
Sorry to hear that - Yeah, feeling lonely sucks, even worse for me when I feel lonely in a group setting. I won't say it's 'normal' as an attempt to make you feel better, but it's more common than we want to admit to ourselves - especially in our testosterone-laden pioneer/warrior driven society.
Being a 'technical type' e.g. engineer, I was never into being with people for the sake of it but I really enjoy a sense of pulling together for common purpose and achievement with others more so than by myself. If you're like me, you might try to find ways to make a contribution in a group setting - volunteer work, taking a role in a local club or getting more involved in your church might help, especially if it means leadership and taking responsibility for having a group of people succeed together. Perhaps work might offer some of those rewards as well.
Getting married and having kids also helped me - when I was ready. I waited to do that until I got into my early 30's and am glad I did.
If none of that's not for you, then it sounds like you/nature/God is nudging you to get out and explore what you want in life. I guess in the end, we all have to find our way as best we can and as the Almighty intends.
Being a 'technical type' e.g. engineer, I was never into being with people for the sake of it but I really enjoy a sense of pulling together for common purpose and achievement with others more so than by myself. If you're like me, you might try to find ways to make a contribution in a group setting - volunteer work, taking a role in a local club or getting more involved in your church might help, especially if it means leadership and taking responsibility for having a group of people succeed together. Perhaps work might offer some of those rewards as well.
Getting married and having kids also helped me - when I was ready. I waited to do that until I got into my early 30's and am glad I did.
If none of that's not for you, then it sounds like you/nature/God is nudging you to get out and explore what you want in life. I guess in the end, we all have to find our way as best we can and as the Almighty intends.
Samthebassist said:
Sounds like you need to get a good dog, man. Companionship doesn't come in a better package than a dog.
This is a very telling statement. It sounds like you may have some self esteem issues related to your weight.
Take up a simple dietary plan with easy to obtain goals and requirements (I would recommend myfitnesspal.com) and do some light exercising on a regular basis. Instead of sitting at home and perusing the internet and thinking "oh geez, I'm so bored", just go out and walk a mile or two every few nights... it's a relaxing activity and a great way to clear your head and think. You'll shed those few pounds that are making you uncomfortable and unsure of yourself in no time, and you'll be amazed at how much easier it is to make friends (and meet people of the opposite sex) when you're feeling good about yourself and your accomplishments.
and no, kansas doesn't suck... well, Kansas City kinda sucks.
Seems folks from the coasts don't realize how great it can be to live in a place like Wichita, Ks and it's not until artistic types leave for awhile that they realize what they've given up and end up coming back. I've had so many friends who've moved to Cali, New York, Charlotte, Dallas, Florida, Boston, Maine, Seattle, Chicago, etc, etc, etc only to move back within 6 months - 2 years. The cost of living here is SO crazy low that you can literally survive off of a $9 an hour part time job without much "real" sacrifice.... which, if you're an artist of some sort, means you have plenty of time to work on whatever is you're passionate about SO much more than living in a big city on the coast. So, there's this entire creative community here that puts around in service industry jobs supporting the aircraft industry while participating in our own enclave of music, arts, poetry, etc. The only real problem is that it's such an easy and relaxed lifestyle that most of it just stays around here and lacks any real drive for larger success.
Go volunteer to help someone less fortunate than you. Doing something for someone else gets you out of your head.
All feelings are temporary; they pass. So shall these feelings.
Don't run away from feelings, don't resist. They ebb and flow like a river- watch them come and go. Resisting them makes them last longer, allowing them to flow lets them move.
Youtube videos of babies laughing. You'll feel something different in short order.
All feelings are temporary; they pass. So shall these feelings.
Don't run away from feelings, don't resist. They ebb and flow like a river- watch them come and go. Resisting them makes them last longer, allowing them to flow lets them move.
Youtube videos of babies laughing. You'll feel something different in short order.
for your melancholly (sp) I recommend this:
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to put a smile on your face I recommend this:
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to put a smile on your face I recommend this:
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Kansas is a love hate relationship. I live in Olathe, about 20 mins south of downtown KC. Lived here my whole life. I feel trapped I'm ready to escape, but I still love it here.
I'm mostly lonely because while my gf is over at "normal" college making a ton of new friends, I'm at the studio getting me audio engineering degree with one on one schooling so I'm not meeting anyone. She'll be txting her fiends and I check my phone to see nothing.
I love school...I'm learning a lot and being challenged. I'd be with Erica but I had to drop them in order to go to LA studio. Me and her are paying for everything by ourselves. So I let her go there while we save an scrounge paycheck to paycheck.
We just watched Capitalism: a love story... And we decided to get all our money together for Xmas and do something epic for the less fortunate...but the movie is another thread entirely.
My self esteem is in the crapper. I wanna lose weight and be like...amazingly hot. But it takes time and I'm impatient. I'm also constantly being like judges and crap and I'm just ready to be healthy and good looking.
My self esteem has been in the crap since sophomore year when I was abused by my jazz teacher, but again, different thread.
I'm just looking for some new friends, people to talk to about music and ive really found my niche here on TB
I'm mostly lonely because while my gf is over at "normal" college making a ton of new friends, I'm at the studio getting me audio engineering degree with one on one schooling so I'm not meeting anyone. She'll be txting her fiends and I check my phone to see nothing.
I love school...I'm learning a lot and being challenged. I'd be with Erica but I had to drop them in order to go to LA studio. Me and her are paying for everything by ourselves. So I let her go there while we save an scrounge paycheck to paycheck.
We just watched Capitalism: a love story... And we decided to get all our money together for Xmas and do something epic for the less fortunate...but the movie is another thread entirely.
My self esteem is in the crapper. I wanna lose weight and be like...amazingly hot. But it takes time and I'm impatient. I'm also constantly being like judges and crap and I'm just ready to be healthy and good looking.
My self esteem has been in the crap since sophomore year when I was abused by my jazz teacher, but again, different thread.
I'm just looking for some new friends, people to talk to about music and ive really found my niche here on TB
Yeah, there's nothing like conversing with that certain someone but since 11 last night you have over 30 texts to you from your other friends...what are we...chopped liver ?
Clark Dark said:Yeah, there's nothing like conversing with that certain someone but since 11 last night you have over 30 texts to you from your other friends...what are we...chopped liver ?
Lately, all you guys are my best friends
