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Im so lonely

#41
Samthebassist said:
Kansas is a love hate relationship. I live in Olathe, about 20 mins south of downtown KC. Lived here my whole life. I feel trapped I'm ready to escape, but I still love it here.

I'm mostly lonely because while my gf is over at "normal" college making a ton of new friends, I'm at the studio getting me audio engineering degree with one on one schooling so I'm not meeting anyone. She'll be txting her fiends and I check my phone to see nothing.

I love school...I'm learning a lot and being challenged. I'd be with Erica but I had to drop them in order to go to LA studio. Me and her are paying for everything by ourselves. So I let her go there while we save an scrounge paycheck to paycheck.

We just watched Capitalism: a love story... And we decided to get all our money together for Xmas and do something epic for the less fortunate...but the movie is another thread entirely.

My self esteem is in the crapper. I wanna lose weight and be like...amazingly hot. But it takes time and I'm impatient. I'm also constantly being like judges and crap and I'm just ready to be healthy and good looking.

My self esteem has been in the crap since sophomore year when I was abused by my jazz teacher, but again, different thread.
I'm just looking for some new friends, people to talk to about music and ive really found my niche here on TB
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Why don't we have a "hugs" smilie?
You brought a little tear to my eye. I hope you will soon realize that you are already amazingly hot and good looking...ask anyone here that's seen you. Nothing wrong with wanting to be as healthy as you can be, but please understand, you are awesome just like you are!
If I head out that way, I'll PM you for the jazz teachers name so I can deliver a Southern style ass kicking in person.
Count me in as a new friend.
 
#42
THand said:
Why don't we have a "hugs" smilie?
You brought a little tear to my eye. I hope you will soon realize that you are already amazingly hot and good looking...ask anyone here that's seen you. Nothing wrong with wanting to be as healthy as you can be, but please understand, you are awesome just like you are!
If I head out that way, I'll PM you for the jazz teachers name so I can deliver a Southern style ass kicking in person.
Count me in as a new friend.
Click to expand...

Thanks :) I'm glad
 
#43
Yes, the texting thing is tough, the being separated from your gf a lot is tough, and wanting to lose weight and feel better about yourself NOW is tough, too. I know. I'm there also with all of these, esp with the texting and feeling kind of isolated. I keep telling myself to look at the longterm, but just get through the next hour without doing anything to jeopardize the long term (pigging out cause I'm so down, for example). And know you do have friends who care about you. Even if we are online friends. You're not alone :-)

And I suspect that Erica cares about you even though she's making other friends at school. If your relationship is a good one, it'll be ok through that. Try not to get too insecure about it. (I'm making an assumption here based on how I feel in a very similar situation, so if I'm wrong, just disregard. I, on the other hand, am going to read my own advice here a few times :-))

Oh yes, and: hugs!
 
#44
RosieB said:
Yes, the texting thing is tough, the being separated from your gf a lot is tough, and wanting to lose weight and feel better about yourself NOW is tough, too. I know. I'm there also with all of these, esp with the texting and feeling kind of isolated. I keep telling myself to look at the longterm, but just get through the next hour without doing anything to jeopardize the long term (pigging out cause I'm so down, for example). And know you do have friends who care about you. Even if we are online friends. You're not alone :-)

And I suspect that Erica cares about you even though she's making other friends at school. If your relationship is a good one, it'll be ok through that. Try not to get too insecure about it. (I'm making an assumption here based on how I feel in a very similar situation, so if I'm wrong, just disregard. I, on the other hand, am going to read my own advice here a few times :-))

Oh yes, and: hugs!
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Hugs for everyone :)
I consider you all great friends

It's tough but we've been through wwwaaayyyyy harder stuff. This is like..an ant hill
 
#45
Another day, yaaawwwn!
 

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#52
Samthebassist said:
The band broke up last night...so now...*** do I have
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That's what bands do.

So chin up! Back straight...hold that head up, girl! Get a pissed off look in your eye. Now get off your ass and pick up your bass and rock!!! Get it all out.:bassist:

Now hit a pawn shop or buy an SX...find a band to sit in with for a killer song...at end of killer song do this:
london-calling.jpg

That's how I rolled when I was your age anyway.:smug:

Really...it's their loss....their HUGE LOSS.
 
#55
THand said:
That's what bands do.

So chin up! Back straight...hold that head up, girl! Get a pissed off look in your eye. Now get off your ass and pick up your bass and rock!!! Get it all out.:bassist:

Now hit a pawn shop or buy an SX...find a band to sit in with for a killer song...at end of killer song do this:

That's how I rolled when I was your age anyway.:smug:

Really...it's their loss....their HUGE LOSS.
Click to expand...

I had Such high expectations...we were good. Now I'll never find a band
 
#56
I would suggest finding allsorts of completely random things to do. It works for me (one of the reasons I took up bass) which keeps my mind off anything.

I also find tea to be very calming, and as friend of mine said, the british drink so much of it because it makes us feel loved. Seems like a wierd suggestion, but it works for me.

Also, if you still have nothing to do, go for a walk. This works best if you live near the countryside, admittedly, but I find it really nice to be able to go wandering for about five hours, sometimes it's amazing how beautiful places so close to where you live can be. Or perhaps you just need to structure your day. There's something liberating about order sometimes.
 
#57
Samthebassist said:
I had Such high expectations...we were good. Now I'll never find a band
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Pssh...PHU-LEEZ. Seek, and ye shall find, grasshopper.

Realize too, they were good because of you, oh, "OffspringofSting" ;)..you can do it again if you want...but you have to want to.

Is everyone done, or is there at least one left that you can start building again with?

Ideally, you need to find some folks better than you to at least jam with occasionally. Helping people learn and being the best in the band is cool, but eventually they would have most likely drug you down, instead of you lifting them up....afterall, there was more of them.:hmm:

Also, DO NOT take the breakup as a personal failure....like I said before: That's what bands do!
 
#58
hrodbert696 said:
If you're looking for advice, I would say don't spend all your time on the internet, it just reinforces real-world isolation with virtual pseudo-relationships. Go to a church or a bar or coffee shop or bookstore or (obvious ones for musicians) music store or open mike or whatever your thing is and just hang around. If you're a shy type, just go and be there by yourself, but do it often so that the people there start to think of you as a "regular" and you get familiar with the other "regulars" just by sight. Eventually people will start saying "hi" and then having conversations more than "hi" and next thing you know you've started to have some friends. Give it a little time.
Click to expand...

That is some gret advice! Its pretty much what I did after leaving my ex-wife. I wasnt feeling like hanging out with my regular friends, so I just started doing the things I would have done with friends without them. Id go to a movie, go to the bar, go to gigs, and just hang out by myself. Eventually people start talking to you. I had one dude end up buying me drinks all night just cuz I humored him a bit.
 
#59
THand said:
Pssh...PHU-LEEZ. Seek, and ye shall find, grasshopper.

Realize too, they were good because of you, oh, "OffspringofSting" ;)..you can do it again if you want...but you have to want to.

Is everyone done, or is there at least one left that you can start building again with?

Ideally, you need to find some folks better than you to at least jam with occasionally. Helping people learn and being the best in the band is cool, but eventually they would have most likely drug you down, instead of you lifting them up....afterall, there was more of them.:hmm:

Also, DO NOT take the breakup as a personal failure....like I said before: That's what bands do!
Click to expand...

I take everything personal. Like...I put so much in..and they just ruined it. I feel like I suck. Back to playing by myself in my room alone with no one...that sucked
 
#60
I know how it is. I had to leave a band the day after our first real gig. Now it's a twice monthly gig for them. And I wasn't even replaced. (rhythm guitar). Makes it feel like they never really needed you. Now I moved out of state and don't know anyone and have nobody to play with. Only people I know are those acquaintances at school. Just have to know that it will all work out in the end. If it's not worked out, it's not the end.
 

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