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inter-band dating

#30
James_B said:
I feel like going against the grain........

DO IT!!!! Nothing bad has ever come from dateing anyway. DO IT!!!
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You're kidding, right?

A long time ago, a wise man told me "don't mix your meat and greens." Of course, he wasn't all that bright because he meant to say something like "don't pee in the stream you drink out of." That was in reference to dating people at work.

While in a perfect world of puppy dogs and rainbows, the relationship would work out perfectly, or the relationship would break off amicably. It's not a perfect world and relationships, specifically "showmances" don't work out or end up too well.

When they don't end up well, it makes being in the same room or building or area code with that person highly unpleasant. I worked on a stage production and the director specifically forbade "showmances." It might be all fun and games while it's going, but when it ends...
 
#33
IanStephenson said:
To be pedantic, that would be "intra-band" dating. Inter-band dating wold be dating from ANOTHER band... [sorry for being a jerk by pointing this out!]
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I would have probably pointed it out if you hadn't as I opened the thread wondering why anyone would care about inter-band dating. Essentially that'd just be dating another musician.

Anyway, to the original post. I guess it depends which relationship you see having the best long term chances, the band or the girl (it was a girl, right... I didn't read too carefully).
 
#36
I tried once. It lasted all of one practice before literally the entire band quit on me, except for her. Me wanting to be the good boyfriend, immediately gave her way too much power and she didn't know but one or two songs.


But who are we kididng? I deserved it.



Funnily enough, since that band I haven't taken a leadership role with a band.
 
#37
I may have a different view than some, even though it is not from personal experience, however I have been in or around many other bands where there was a couple formed somehow or another. So I saw it all. I say, if the opportunity arises, and as long as the two involved can handle it maturely, then go for it. But I said a key word there. Maturity. If the two really hit it off, why should the band get in the way? Not only couples come and go, but bands do as well. You don't want to miss an opportunity for a potentially long lasting romantic relationship/marriage out of fear. Handle the situation with respect for the other band members, don't try to form a team against the others (very common with decision making) and respect each other's differences within and outside of the band. Yeah, it may be a little weird at times, but if the right girl came along for me (not now as I'm married, but before) then I would have gone for it without hesiation. But remember, it depends on the level of maturity of those involved. That is the key.
 
#38
i have been dating a member in my band for a year now. its a matter of keeping the band professional and the relationship private.

someone early mentioned that for every success story there are 10,000 failures. i believe that is a true statement and i would never suggest that anyone else try it because not everyone can deal with it.

yeah, it can be pretty stressful at times, but if professionalism is maintained and you are able to talk through everything in a manner that isnt going to evoke hurt feelings, which requires two VERY understanding people, then things can work out.

but again, i say "dont try this at home" :)
 
#39
The scary thing is when your keyboardist's girlfriend starts hitting on you blatantly . . . 'cause then, having never even had a female be interested in you ever (and by now being nearly 20), you don't know what the hell to do.
 

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