Is it wrong to think you're unattractive?

[scorpionldr]

I'm not trying to be a dick, but it might come off that way.

This probably has more to do with what you bring to the interaction than the women. If you're not pleasant to interact with, nobody will want to interact with you. Maybe you need to assess what you're bringing to the table and figure out what you're doing wrong, because something isn't working.

Or you can just get mad and bitch about it on the internet.

No, you're being cool, but just because Someone is realistic on an Internet forum about it does not transcend to actual reality. I mean I COULD walk into the office with the annoying secretary and slam her desk with a baseball bat asking "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A *****!!" But I know the ramifications and would pass on the action.

My only issue is being myself is difficult when there are so many women with the blankest of personalities, acting like angels because they are in somebody's face, meanwhile they just pass on everyone that they feel they're "too good for" regardless of the reason or interaction. Why not just BE REAL?? Cut the cord. Just do it. I already can look through their eyes and see the phony business.

I think he needs to better assess who is sitting at the table in the first place, and avoid alot of tables.
He shouldn't have to change himself, he just needs to find a woman who appreciates who he already is...he can do this faster by recognizing the ones who don't, sooner.
By saying he needs to change himself because something isn't working, you are basically saying he needs to learn to be more manipulative...
Remember Scorp...even us old guys who have been married a long time found one woman who appreciated us, out of the millions who would probably give us the same amount of crap you have been facing.
If you try to change who you are, you will never find someone who appreciates who you are, because you will be busy acting like someone else...that's not the road to truly being happy.

Realistically I should heed some of Erebus's comment. I've tried tho, I've revised, I've tried to be user friendly.

With regard to being yourself, well, that's something that will show whether you like it or not.

 

[i_got_a_mohawk]

My only issue is being myself is difficult when there are so many women with the blankest of personalities, acting like angels because they are in somebody's face, meanwhile they just pass on everyone that they feel they're "too good for" regardless of the reason or interaction. Why not just BE REAL?? Cut the cord. Just do it. I already can look through their eyes and see the phony business.

The problem is, that IS them being real.

If they are like that anyway, why give a ****? You aren't missing anythnig by missing out on that kinda girl.

 

[scorpionldr]

The problem is, that IS them being real.

If they are like that anyway, why give a ****? You aren't missing anythnig by missing out on that kinda girl.

An overwhelming majority materializes a convincing perceived entirety.

 

[Unrepresented]

An overwhelming majority materializes a convincing perceived entirety.

I don't want to get sucked into a scorpionldr pity party, but after reading some of these posts, do you ever consider that some of this stuff is self-fulfilling?

Women are turned off by defensive, bitter guys which is how you're coming off in this thread. Maybe IRL you're normally a charming, sophisticated, easy going gentleman, but if the women you're talking to are getting the same vibe you're giving off here in this thread, you're going to have issues no matter how attractive you are.

Looks are one entry into a relationship. They're the quickest and the easiest, but there are plenty of ugly guys out there in the world in relationships. Secret? They're happy, confident, and share a common set of values and interests with the women they date. They have the opportunity to expose those qualities to potential partners through a healthy social network. Make sure you're developing those aspects of yourself, the rest will come naturally.

 

[Root 5]

If you try to change who you are, you will never find someone who appreciates who you are, because you will be busy acting like someone else...that's not the road to truly being happy.

This is why a lot of relationships/marriages fail. People, wanting to be accepted and loved - to 'have someone' - pretend to be a person they are not and in the duration of a relationship they can't keep up the charade.

Their relationship is built upon a foundation of lies.

Men & women lie to one another all the time. Men think women want a 'strong, confident, funny' man. So we try to be that even though we may not feel strong or confident.

I just wish men & women could be more honest with one another.

 

[scorpionldr]

I don't want to get sucked into a scorpionldr pity party, but after reading some of these posts, do you ever consider that some of this stuff is self-fulfilling?

Women are turned off by defensive, bitter guys which is how you're coming off in this thread. Maybe IRL you're normally a charming, sophisticated, easy going gentleman, but if the women you're talking to are getting the same vibe you're giving off here in this thread, you're going to have issues no matter how attractive you are.

Looks are one entry into a relationship. They're the quickest and the easiest, but there are plenty of ugly guys out there in the world in relationships. Secret? They're happy, confident, and share a common set of values and interests with the women they date. They have the opportunity to expose those qualities to potential partners through a healthy social network. Make sure you're developing those aspects of yourself, the rest will come naturally.

And your answer is three posts up above your last post. You're welcome

 

[i_got_a_mohawk]

An overwhelming majority materializes a convincing perceived entirety.

In that case, are you maybe being a bit too intense or coming over as being desperate?

Looks are one entry into a relationship. They're the quickest and the easiest, but there are plenty of ugly guys out there in the world in relationships. Secret? They're happy, confident, and share a common set of values and interests with the women they date. They have the opportunity to expose those qualities to potential partners through a healthy social network. Make sure you're developing those aspects of yourself, the rest will come naturally.

I think this is what it boils down to.

Looks, money, typical social "perks" will only get you so far and in the long run probably not the best things to base a relationship on.

I'm not much of a looker and certainly not wealthy, even with often being socially awkward, confidence and a percieved lack of interest seems to work wonders.

 

[MatticusMania]

If you're not pleasant to interact with, nobody will want to interact with you.

To reiterate.

 

[scorpionldr]

Y'all can put it anyway you like, I told you how things are in the grid.

 

[Unrepresented]

Y'all can put it anyway you like, I told you how things are in the grid.

Maybe this came up earlier, but how large is your social circle? Do you have a lot of friends that you regularly spend time with? Social clubs and organizations? Church? Sports leagues? Rebel Alliances?

 

[MatticusMania]

The problem is, that IS them being real.

If they are like that anyway, why give a ****? You aren't missing anythnig by missing out on that kinda girl.

Exactly what I was going to say. Perhaps, scorpion, youre not going after the right kind of girls?

An overwhelming majority materializes a convincing perceived entirety.

Nope.

Firstly, I dont believe youve interacted with an overwhelming majority of women to make such a claim.

Just because you perceive that a majority of women are a certain way doesnt make it so.

I don't want to get sucked into a scorpionldr pity party, but after reading some of these posts, do you ever consider that some of this stuff is self-fulfilling?

Bingo

Women are turned off by defensive, bitter guys which is how you're coming off in this thread.

+1

I just wish men & women could be more honest with one another.

Its really not that hard. Men and women just need to be themselves, and happy with who they are. Thats all confidence is, its about being confident in who you are. I know who I am, with all my quirks & faults, and I like that person. I find someone else, who is seemingly themself (its hard to know at first sometimes, but people can only carry an act for so long) and who likes the person that I am. The rest is history.

Maybe this came up earlier, but how large is your social circle? Do you have a lot of friends that you regularly spend time with? Social clubs and organizations? Church? Sports leagues? Rebel Alliances?

I once got an old-fashioned from a woman I met at the Rebel Alliance.

Y'all can put it anyway you like, I told you how things are in the grid.

You can be derisive all you want, but we're telling it like it is. We'd be that overwhelming majority you like to refer to.

 

[scorpionldr]

Maybe this came up earlier, but how large is your social circle? Do you have a lot of friends that you regularly spend time with? Social clubs and organizations? Church? Sports leagues? Rebel Alliances?

Like I said, men's club, school, two friends, work...and that's about it

 

[scorpionldr]

1. Exactly what I was going to say. Perhaps, scorpion, youre not going after the right kind of girls?



2. Nope.

Firstly, I dont believe youve interacted with an overwhelming majority of women to make such a claim.

Just because you perceive that a majority of women are a certain way doesnt make it so.



Bingo



3. +1



Its really not that hard. Men and women just need to be themselves, and happy with who they are. Thats all confidence is, its about being confident in who you are. I know who I am, with all my quirks & faults, and I like that person. I find someone else, who is seemingly themself (its hard to know at first sometimes, but people can only carry an act for so long) and who likes the person that I am. The rest is history.



I once got an old-fashioned from a woman I met at the Rebel Alliance.



You can be derisive all you want, but we're telling it like it is. We'd be that overwhelming majority you like to refer to.

1. Dating someone currently, it's possible but it's also possible she had been less open before and opened up

2. Ok well when 99.75 percent of women prove me right it's hard to see the room for wrong.

3. Because ppl don't experience the reality I do doesn't mean it is non-existent.

 

[MatticusMania]

1. Dating someone currently, it's possible but it's also possible she had been less open before and opened up

2. Ok well when 99.75 percent of women prove me right it's hard to see the room for wrong.

3. Because ppl don't experience the reality I do doesn't mean it is non-existent.

1. Well hey then, congrats. It can take time for some people to open up.

2. Thats not 99.75% of women, thats 99.75% of women that you interact with. Huge difference. If you talk to even more women, you might find your percentage is quite high.

3. Youre right, but when one judges the world based only on their own reality, one tends to miss out on a lot.

 

[scorpionldr]

1. Well hey then, congrats. It can take time for some people to open up.

2. Thats not 99.75% of women, thats 99.75% of women that you interact with. Huge difference. If you talk to even more women, you might find your percentage is quite high.

3. Youre right, but when one judges the world based only on their own reality, one tends to miss out on a lot.

Real quick
2. That was the intended wording. iPhone clouds thoughts.
3. Like I said I began terrorizing other forums. Long story short, according to them, I should be boning anyone disease free, because as they say, right now I just have a bad case of butthurt.

 

[SJLee]

It's who you are inside that matters. You can have no arms or legs and attract a beautiful woman if you have the right spirit.

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[MatticusMania]

3. Like I said I began terrorizing other forums. Long story short, according to them, I should be boning anyone disease free, because as they say, right now I just have a bad case of butthurt.

Well, if thats all youre after then sure. But, if youre looking for something more meaningful, then theres no reason to go after every disease free woman you meet.
It seems to me like you really do want something more meaningful, so the hook up with every woman you meet kind of advice isnt going to do you much advice. Nor is it hard to give out such advice.

 

[scorpionldr]

Well, if thats all youre after then sure. But, if youre looking for something more meaningful, then theres no reason to go after every disease free woman you meet.
It seems to me like you really do want something more meaningful, so the hook up with every woman you meet kind of advice isnt going to do you much advice. Nor is it hard to give out such advice.

It's not quantity for me, but someone on the regular. Anyhow, we'll see how things go with the latest one.

Honestly she wants kids, but I hope not soon....not my scene.

 

[MatticusMania]

It's not quantity for me, but someone on the regular. Anyhow, we'll see how things go with the latest one.

Honestly she wants kids, but I hope not soon....not my scene.

All the best to you, scorp! Im not a quantity kind of guy, myself. I much more enjoy finding someone of quality, and then getting a lot on the regular as well.

As far as the kids thing goes, its early yet. Id recommend not talking much about that topic for a while.

 

[scorpionldr]

As far as the kids thing goes, its early yet. Id recommend not talking much about that topic for a while.

Yep but it's the first thing on the list for a lot of them.