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Is it wrong to think you're unattractive?

#501
scorpionldr said:
Yep but it's the first thing on the list for a lot of them.
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Is it? I guess it could be. Ive been lucky enough to find women who dont want kids.
Oddly enough, I do want to have a kid at some point, but probably not for another 10 years or so.
Since thats still a ways off, I tend to not focus so much on that. Things can always change between now and then.
 
#511
I'm 5'6" and have dated women that were 6ft.

Be happy, my friend. You are who you are. you have to just
go do what you want and go after whomever you like.

Other than you're married ;) Figure that part out first, I'd say.
 
#512
Overall, I'm a fairly neutral in my overall mood. Perhaps too mcuh science background and not particularly emotional.

Recently, some coworkers and I were discussing a certain guy who is handsome, dresses well, and is smooth. He edged out more than a few people who were substantially more qualified. I was not one of them (different dept), but it got me thinking.

I take pride in being reliable and working about one standard deviation harder than my average coworker. Yet, I rarely get noticed. Normally I wouldn't let that bother me. The "meets standards" performance eval no longer gets a raise. I've been here a little too long to willingly quit and we generally make less than other comparable hospitals. About the only way to get a raise is to get a better eval and I need to make that happen sooner than later.
 
#513
spade2you said:
So, slightly revisiting this thread.

As work eval time rolls around. I question if my lack of looks cost me from getting noticed. I mostly work with women.

OTOH, I can see that my somewhat meticulous nature can be overlooked simply because most folks don't thrive on minutiae.
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To be honest, I think it's the fact that you're lacking confidence in your looks more than your looks themselves. And even then, I have no realistic ability to know whether that impacts your job function on any measurable level.
 
#514
Unrepresented said:
To be honest, I think it's the fact that you're lacking confidence in your looks more than your looks themselves. And even then, I have no realistic ability to know whether that impacts your job function on any measurable level.
Click to expand...

It's not as much about confidence as it might seem. I try to keep my confidence level reasonable. I am very experienced but still need to avoid the perception of being arrogant. This particular balancing act can be challenging. I like to consider myself a guy who can identify problems and offer solutions. I'm not in a position to make many changes and I often get the impression that some of the folks in a position to make changes probably want to hear how great things are and not weaknesses.

Overall, I'm honestly considering dressing up to see if this helps with perception. I've been wearing scrubs and a lab jacket, which is part of uniform code as is nicer attire.
 
#515
spade2you said:
It's not as much about confidence as it might seem. I try to keep my confidence level reasonable. I am very experienced but still need to avoid the perception of being arrogant. This particular balancing act can be challenging. I like to consider myself a guy who can identify problems and offer solutions. I'm not in a position to make many changes and I often get the impression that some of the folks in a position to make changes probably want to hear how great things are and not weaknesses.

Overall, I'm honestly considering dressing up to see if this helps with perception. I've been wearing scrubs and a lab jacket, which is part of uniform code as is nicer attire.
Click to expand...

First step to getting put down is putting yourself down.
 
#516
scorpionldr said:
First step to getting put down is putting yourself down.
Click to expand...

Normally I don't care what people think. The problem is that I rarely get noticed for what I do well. Part of this could simply be the fact that nobody wants to give employees more money.

A few years ago, we had this dude who looked like your average Abercrombie (sp?) model. He didn't even have to do anything and 95% of the population were impressed as hell. Again, this is a job where most of the dept are women as are the nurses.

I'm not really planning on changing the way I work since I know I do a good job. I really need to somehow get other people convinced that I'm doing a good job.
 
#518
Couple things
Women are very fickle and flakey beings. Don't worry too much about what they think, just how u make them feel. Women will have an idea of what they want in a man and the guys they actually go for are the complete opposite of that. To get any woman figure out what they want and show her you can full fill that need if she does your need.

Secondly your height is a non issue 5'6 is an average height for a race car driver and those guys can pull women, even if they no nothing about them. Your confidence and how you present yourself can say alot.

Dress well look sharp all the time, don't come off as desperate and be friendly you'll have to beat girls off.

Plus as musicians we have an unfair advantage try this before your next gig. Walk the room and talk to random attractive girls doesn't matter what you say. Then go on stage and play then come off and hang out. I bet you one of those girls will want to jump you after.

Every man wants to be a rock star and every woman has a groupie side to them.
 
#519
spade2you said:
Normally I don't care what people think. The problem is that I rarely get noticed for what I do well. Part of this could simply be the fact that nobody wants to give employees more money.

A few years ago, we had this dude who looked like your average Abercrombie (sp?) model. He didn't even have to do anything and 95% of the population were impressed as hell. Again, this is a job where most of the dept are women as are the nurses.

I'm not really planning on changing the way I work since I know I do a good job. I really need to somehow get other people convinced that I'm doing a good job.
Click to expand...

Yea, that's life. Lol

Idk....be charismatic. Make everything you do say "I'm kind of a big deal". I don't think that guy was nearly as attractive as you make him out to be, just he knew how to get attention.
 
#520
Final issue you have a wife. She's losing interest because you aren't creating enough emotional turmoil. Women need to feel extremes in emotions in order to feel attracted to some one. We men are the complete opposite. If a relationship is perfect we feel no need to cause drama most women will get bored and start hitting you with the "there's something missing" line.

Make her feel like she did something to disappoint you every once in awhile, or make her feel upset or annoyed with you, then follow it up with really romantic moments, or be goofy with her buy a super soaker and randomly spray her with it, let her chase you round the house and make her feel like a kid.
Play pranks on each other.

And every now and then if your alone walk up to her and push her on top of the counter and have your way with her or grab her by the hair and pull her into a closet or bedroom. SShe will lose her mind and be really into you. Because its a fantasy most women have.
If she's driving and ur in the car with her alone pull your dick out just to mess with her. Make it funny.things like that make a woman feel wanted.

Women love being on an emotional roller coaster, it takes practice knowing how to thrill them without going too far and making them sick of you.
 

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