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Is there a point where you're too old to 'make it'?

tonymcbony

tonymcbony

Mar 21, 2006
676
526
#1
Every now and then I watch a music documentary, go to a great live show, or hear some great music and I just get this really frustrated longing deep inside. I keep feeling like I should be doing awesome, playing something great and playing to people. I get almost beside myself because I'm not doing that stuff at the moment and the recent stuff I've tried to get going keeps falling over.

As musicians and bass players in particular, you know that this longing to play doesn't come from wanting everyone to like you, or wanting everyone to even like the songs you wrote. It's like there's this inbuilt drive to play your songs in front of people.

I guess I'm looking at the future and thinking, man, I don't want to be playing covers, or just playing at church or playing something boring and quiet, nor do I want to be the washed up old guy who's still trying to live the rocking dream. But I'm worried because I'm 26, and I'm married, and kids might be on the way and I haven't made it yet. Time is starting to become tighter so I'm a bit wary of not having enough to set aside to heaps of projects.

Each band I get into is far better than the previous one and more enjoyable but they constantly fall apart by people moving away. It's a bit harder where my wife and I are living because it's a really small town that has just had its central city demolished in an earthquake. I know heaps of the musicians around here, but we're thinking of moving to a different country where I won't have those musical contacts.

I guess in my head I have this imaginary age of when you have to grow up and do boring jobs that you hate for the rest of your life unless you have it nailed, which is 30. I just know there is no way I can just drop music; it's in my blood and my soul and I unless I'm playing in band I feel like there's something missing.

I'm pretty sure I'm not unique in this feeling of frustration; how do you guys deal with all of that?
 
#2
Hey man, 26 is not old at all to be in a band. I know of plenty of bands with members over 26 AND with wife and kids. Yet they still manage to travel the world on tour. Just keep trying and maybe you'll find your band.
 
#3
Speaking from my own experience only, that feeling passes and you come to the realization that playing music for a living (unless you get rich and famous, and those odds are not good) is just another job but it comes without benefits, pension, 401k, retirement, any of that stuff.

I now know that being able to play music is a blessing and is it's own reward. When I play nowadays I do it on my own time, I play what, where and when I want I and don't have to worry about if it's going to be enough to pay the bills. It's just pure pleasure and satisfaction with none of the headaches. But that's my experience. Your mileage may vary.
 
#6
I guess it depends on your goals. I'm turning 50 in two weeks. My band did the originals thing for about ten years. We opened up for a couple of bigger names either on their way up or their way down. When we realized our originals were incredibly mediocre, at best, we went the cover route. We're headlining at the best cover bar in town for my b-day party and my band will be celebrating our 30th anniversary back there in October.

So, I'm still playing music with my best friends and I have an awesome family I wouldn't trade to be in the Stones. So, in my mind, I made it just fine. YOMV...

Follow your dream and good luck, but remember, as long as you can still play, keep playing...
 
#8
bassinplace said:
Speaking from my own experience only, that feeling passes and you come to the realization that playing music for a living (unless you get rich and famous, and those odds are not good) is just another job but it comes without benefits, pension, 401k, retirement, any of that stuff.

I now know that being able to play music is a blessing and is it's own reward. When I play nowadays I do it on my own time, I play what, where and when I want I and don't have to worry about if it's going to be enough to pay the bills. It's just pure pleasure and satisfaction with none of the headaches. But that's my experience. Your mileage may vary.
Click to expand...

Amen brother, amen.
I myself love music so much that, I have left bands because I love playing music and, it began to feel like a job I didn't want to get up and go to any more. Music and just interacting with others musicians can be it's own reward. :bassist: :D I'm 55
 
#9
What do you mean by "make it?" You can keep making music till the day you die, but you have to make room for your wife and kids. Sometimes that means a music career. And sometimes, you have to stop playing to focus on the family and even sell off gear if there are greater needs. But you also might get to teach your kids to play music, make room for them and their pals in the garage and watch your kids live their dreams. Sometimes that's the way it plays out. But it's always family first. Ever think about moving to a city with more opportunity (and fewer tremors)?
 
#10
I'm 58 and gave up the idea of trying to make it about 28 years ago. Got married, had a son and as far as I was concerned my son needed his daddy to bring home a steady paycheck. I'd do it all over again for him too. But I've never given up the idea of finding some like minded poeple to do an original thing. Not to try and make it, but just to do it. It's called "c'mon fella's! Let's see what we can pull out of ourselves and let's make it great!"

The only thing that's really standing in my way is the huge lack of free time. Although I'm single I work nights at 12 hours a night Monday thru Friday. No time for anything except working and sleeping. When the weekend rolls around I've got to take care of the household business, so even then there's not a huge amount of free time. I'm trying to change my work situation (I'd love a day job) but here in Michigan it's proving to be much harder than I thought.

So while there's no desire to try and make it there's a desire to want to create something with other people.
 
#11
Is there a point where you're too old to 'make it'?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you define "making it"

If it is getting rich then forget it. less than 1% of musicians achieve that.

If it is living off of what you make then that is possible, but a working musician is not usually a high paying job, and there are no benefits, no vacation pay, no pension, no 401k, and the hours are not good.

I am REALLY GLAD that I did NOT "make it" Because I instead got a college degree and a career, a pension, benefits, a 401k, a good salary, paid vacation time, and a good working schedule. And I have enough money to buy some nice equipment.

Sometimes a career in music is a fast track to poverty, ill health, substance abuse, and an early death.

On the flip side ... My wife who did actually earn a living as a singer for a while, is going to collaborate with me to do some CDs. Then we will sell the cds on the internet and we will make a few bucks. We have no delusions of getting rich with this project, but it should turn a small profit.
 
#13
JSK5String said:
I guess it depends on your goals. I'm turning 50 in two weeks. My band did the originals thing for about ten years. We opened up for a couple of bigger names either on their way up or their way down. When we realized our originals were incredibly mediocre, at best, we went the cover route. We're headlining at the best cover bar in town for my b-day party and my band will be celebrating our 30th anniversary back there in October.
Click to expand...

Most original bands don't know their songs are mediocre. It is great you guys saw the light.
 
#14
atomicdog said:
What do you mean by "make it?" You can keep making music till the day you die, but you have to make room for your wife and kids. Sometimes that means a music career. And sometimes, you have to stop playing to focus on the family and even sell off gear if there are greater needs. But you also might get to teach your kids to play music, make room for them and their pals in the garage and watch your kids live their dreams. Sometimes that's the way it plays out. But it's always family first. Ever think about moving to a city with more opportunity (and fewer tremors)?
Click to expand...

I don't really know what I mean by "make it" to be honest, I just chucked it in the title so we'd all get the general idea of what I'm on about. :D Some sort of generic thing where a band I'm in turns up and people want to hear the music.

I hear you man, and I wouldn't be worried if the wife and future kids weren't already something I want to prioritise.

That's what we're thinking of now, upping sticks to Adelaide for both my wife and my potetial careers and music.
 
#17
Icey101 said:
theres nothing worse then seeing 40 yr olds still playing originals :-P
Click to expand...

Sure there is.......50 year olds still trying to "make it" playing originals. ;)

I got some very good advice very early in my life that kept me from making the "music as a career" mistake. Now I have the best of both worlds....a stable life AND the ability to play music whenever I want.
 
#18
I disagree here, there is no mistake in making music a career by any means. If it's what you want to do with your life, you can definitely make a fulfilling career out of music and still make a decent living. You do have to find the right city to live in, that's for sure. There are thousands upon thousands of musicians that make a great living playing music, but aren't famous. It does take doing a multitude of things, ie: playing in cover bands, musicals (local and traveling broadway when in town), wedding bands, church band, jazz gigs, teaching lessons, original bands, and if you're good at arranging that too. If you diversify in your local music scene, you'll always have steady work and definitely a means to make a living and not have to live on the road. If that's what you want to do, you can do it.
 

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