Is there no greener grass?

[QORC]

I don't know if it is a "rock god" thing or the same desire people have to climb Mt Everest. Hundreds have already done it, but you want to experience it. The energy that comes back to you when a crowd in a bar is digging out is great, I can't image what a theater or festival audience would be like. I've never been booed by hundreds of people or had things thrown at me, so again, I may be only thinking about the positive stuff.

I've headlined in front of 10,000+....played at packed pro venues...the feeling was unbelievable. I had my "time in the sun". now I have to lower my expectations, but I still get a kick out of playing well in front of a packed bar

 

[QORC]

The grass is always greener...on the side that's mowed, watered and fertilized

 

[socialleper]

My journey to look for greener pastures is not going well.
Aside from the punters and people without bands (or recent experience) to sort through, I'm having trouble finding a formed band that I can work with. There are a few bands whose music I didn't care for, and then I had an audition that didn't seem to pan out. They were looking to do a prog-metal thing that was a little outside the norm for me, but they were cool guys and I thought it would be a good musical challenge. After telling them I was interested I haven't heard back in three weeks. I guess they didn't think I was a good fit.
Someone else messaged me yesterday and keeps asking me questions without answering the questions I'm asking them.

Meanwhile, I can't seem to talk my currently project into practicing more than once a month. I got them to agree to meet to have a discussion about where our heads are at. I think we aren't all looking in the same direction.

I'm getting tried of stressing about this, and not playing.

 

[socialleper]

In the last month, this have not really improved.
Two bands responded to my CL ads, but one of my fears about trying to find another band came into play. They just weren't good. They were complete bands that had played around the area for a while, had some self released stuff, but aren't anything I'd pay to hear.
I've at least been able to get my main project to practice two weeks in a row. Maybe three. One of the guitarists mentioned working on new material again, so there's that.
I still feel stuck in this gray area as to whether this is going to keep going or not. For better or ill, it has pushed back my GAS. I see a piece of gear that interests me, and then after a while think "What's the point? I'm going to be able to use it."

 

[Drgonzonm]

@socialleper , are you a weekend warrior, a hired gun, or noodler? Do you read music? Do you know the NNS? To mis quote a bad viola joke are you an estblished 4 piece band looing for lead rythm and a drummer?
As new member of a band would band, l believe you need to adapt. Once the rep is there, I believe you will have more opportunities.

 

[Drgonzonm]

I tell all my students, “there’s a reason the grass is always greener over the septic tank...”

I found that the grass over the septic tank and drain field browned the quickest.

Had to keep trees and bushes more than 15 ft from drain field.

 

[socialleper]

@socialleper , are you a weekend warrior, a hired gun, or noodler? Do you read music? Do you know the NNS? To mis quote a bad viola joke are you an estblished 4 piece band looing for lead rythm and a drummer?
As new member of a band would band, l believe you need to adapt. Once the rep is there, I believe you will have more opportunities.

For the 30 years or so that I've played, I have only played in original rock bands. I have a regular 9-5, but for an original rock band, that's the norm. My current project has been together for about 5 years, we have released 3 self financed CDs, played a few different cities in the state, and had a tiny little cameo on a TV and a soon-to-be released, straight to red box movie. I wouldn't say we are a failure, but I don't want to quit just yet.
I can't sight read, or learn by ear. I write things down in tab and memorize them. I mess with covers to keep my chops up, but never really remember them because they aren't important to me. I've never really considered a covers band because the market for my original music is the same size as the market for music I would want to cover.

 

[Drgonzonm]

For the 30 years or so that I've played, I have only played in original rock bands. ..... that's the norm. My current project has been together for about 5 years, we have released 3 self financed CDs, played a few different cities in the state, and had a tiny little cameo on a TV and a soon-to-be released, straight to red box movie. I wouldn't say we are a failure, but I don't want to quit just yet.
I can't sight read, or learn by ear. I write things down in tab and memorize them. I mess with covers to keep my chops up, but never really remember them because they aren't important to me. ...is the same size as the market for music I would want to cover.

I can read music. Have problems playing by ear And use lead sheets. I use leads in a untradional manner. I play the roots shown by chords. And the staff for timing.
In the years plus I've played, was not fond of tab, recently, I saw a variation, that had note stems. Haven't used but it appears adding the timing adds to the value. Plan to convert some lyrics and chords to tab to see if it improves my playing.

 

[QORC]

sometimes there IS greener grass. but settling for what's known, yet unsatisfying, while alluring, has its price too. The greatest tragedy is the opportunity missed by the lack of courage.

 

[1st Bass]

You could advertise for a casino that way, too.
Sometimes it isn't a lack of courage, but a sense of responsibility.

 

[BigBasserino]

People discuss the "greener grass" syndrome a lot when it comes to 9 - 5 day jobs; that you want to leave for something "better" yet all you hear from people you know is the same level of BS you experience at your current job. You want something else, but have found yourself jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.
I wonder if the same is true for bands.
I'm starting to feel like my current project has reached terminal velocity, and I think the other members are thinking the same thing. That has lead to a lack of enthusiasm for it, which means less practice and fewer shows. After all, that costs money, and we aren't making any of it back.
So I started pondering the idea of looking for a second project, or replacement if things go totally sideways. Then I had a frightening\startling notion: what if there is no greener grass? What if this is as good as it gets? Out of all of the dozens of bands I've played with over the last few years, I could probably count the number I'd want to hear again on one hand.
To use an unpleasant metaphor, is it better to stay in an unhappy musical marriage rather than dive into a uncertain dating pool and run the risk of ending up alone?

Why is this a surprise? That should be the question.

I'll kind of lay out something that's been on my mind.

What do you see when you look at pictures from back in the day of say, Black Sabbath? Led Zeppelin? Motley Crue? Jimi Hendrix?

If you say "bunch of guys that looked like they had long hair and hung out at pubs", well, there's that old saying "you asked for it."

Look, the thing about music is historically, even as far back as Bach and Mozart, it was clear there was enough money (or threat of excommunication in the case of Bach/Mozart) to keep going, but not enough to stop. That implies not a ton. People photograph all these legends because out of all the other bearded long hair guys that like hanging out at bars, these guys got people to recognize the risk they were taking with their lives (The risk of no future) and look good doing it. For me, getting a good job and dropping the dreaming/babying/organizing/negotiating that really didn't carry it's weight in rewards was a good tradeoff.

So I found the "greener grass". For now. And I fully anticipate (because it's happening presently) I'll get a bit restless, but rather than trying to meet a bunch of random strangers you never hear from after a plan goes sour, I'll opt for recording myself.