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Just Walked Out of Practice

#41
The singer in one of my bands is consistently late to sound check at gigs. Rather than spend time waiting on him, I started showing up late myself. Luckily, my rig only takes a couple minutes to set up, so I'm always good on time. I realize that doesn't teach him anything, but he isn't the kind of guy that takes criticism well. I'd just rather not have to have the argument with him.

You could always try the old "tell the late guy a different time" trick. If you want practice to start at 8, tell him to be there at 6:30 or 7.
 
#42
Props to you for having some respect for yourself and walking. Because clearly this singer doesn't have any respect for his bandmates. I've been in this type of situation before where someone was chronically late and pathologically dishonest, and I wish I had done what you did. It's only hindsight now that tells me that I should have done just what you did.

You showed some respect for yourself. Whatever anyone else (in your band) says, you did the right thing.

If this was someone who just got stuck in traffic once in a while, that would be something you could explain away. But this is someone who obviously doesn't respect the time or efforts of everyone else involved. Tell your bandmates that something has to change or you're gone. Tell them that you all deserve someone who is going to have some consideration and professionalism. And if they don't respond, then you will probably need to move on.
 
#43
I think you need to ask him if he wants to stay in the band or if he'd rather do something else. He is maybe thinking of leaving the band but doesn't know how to break it to you.

And then he just shows up late instead of talking straight to you.

I hate wasting time like that and would have walked out too. Why should I respect his time when he doesn't respect mine?
 
#44
You waited for an hour and a half which is about an hour longer than I would have waited.

The singer in my cover band is habitually late (and always seems to forget his wallet when it comes time to collect for the studio time - but thats another story...) so we are always telling him rehearsals are earlier than they actually are.
 
#46
Does he work? If he pulls that crap at work he'd be fired by the second day.

People who make others wait all the time are selfish and don't respect others. I learned many years ago to not cut people like that any slack. We've kicked people out of bands who couldn't show up on time, and I've dumped women who are habitually late.

In fact, I once left a girlfriend's house to go to a wedding because she wasn't ready even though she had all day and knew what time we had to leave. I told her I'd pick her up for the reception but I didn't bother. When I didn't show up she left a few nasty messages on my voice mail. I called her the next day and told her that since she couldn't bother to make the effort to be ready on time, I couldn't be bothered to make the trip back to pick her up.
 
#47
I have an awsome singer, with serious time keeping issues, she just has no concept of time. So on gig nights I text her 4 hours before a gig and tell her to get in the shower, at 2 hours to tell her to get her war paint on and at 1 hour to get in the car. It works like a treat. It sounds like a hassle, but the time frame kind of mirrors what I am doing at the same time (war paint aside) so not hard to do.
 
#48
Ouch! I'd be outta that band soon...

My band had a similar experience with a producer/engineer to work on our full-length album. A well-known, talented dude that we were paying (lots of) money for his time.

The guy NEVER ONCE showed up anywhere on time, unless he was already at the studio and we were scheduled to meet him. (BTW, my band is very punctual, so to us, this came as a serious dis.)

We fired him about 20 days into the project and finished our album with other talented people who ended up making us sound amazing.

Moral of the story: People don't change, and there is ALWAYS someone else who can do just as good of a job.
 
#54
We once had a singer who (wasn't really that good) who was "that guy" I remember the beginning of the end, he knew that we were spewing about his "LSD" not being ontime, not setting up, not tearing down, etc, etc...

So we were playing this bar and the singer of course is not there at 4:30. And the other guys started talking a bunch of crap about him trying to get me to play along, and I don't know what made me not say anything that day but they realized quick I wasn't joining in on the lead singer bashing, so I say one thing about it's disappointing that he doesn't take the band seriously... Then low and behold the singer pops out from behind the bar. He actually wasted time and energy to get me to talk bad about him in front of his face. While we were setting up no less!!!!! What a moron! He actually quit not long after that, he said he would put his girlfriend before the band any day and he actually cancelled a gig on us less than a week out so he and his girlfriend could go out.

I'm sorry but INTEGRITY should be number one on any bands "code" and if you have committed to a show date with 4 other guys counting on you then that should be #1 priority unless someone is dying or dead, simple enough, and I'll understand any reasonable explanation thereafter, but not, we decided to go on a date that night.... There is always the day after, or the day before, any other day of that week, not when it costs me money for you dropping on your commitment. Not to mention, A black eye on our reputation from the club when we have to explain why we couldn't play.

I'm going to jump off my soapbox for a bit...
 
#57
If you already talked to him about it, but to no avail, then don't waste your time with him anymore. If the band doesn't want to throw him out, then I suggest you just move on to another band/project.

Man, it is so not worth it to have to deal with someone like that. There are tons of great musicians out there who can a least meet the small set of commitments that playing in a band entails.

I know giving the guys in the band an ultimatum is much easier said than done, but I really do think you'll be happier (and get much more out of playing music) if you decide now that you're not going to put up with someone like that.
 

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