I'll agree to the bastard part 
To answer some of the questions:
It's a 1/2 scale cello. The vibrating length between bridge and nut is 23 inches. The Thundergut string set I got says they are for a 20 inch scale, but I ended up cutting off a couple inches from each of the strings as they stretched. This is why I think Pahoehoe's would work, they stretch like crazy.
True! They are all really close. Not impossible to play, but when you go from the E to the A string, say when playing a low F on the E string, and then playing C or D on the A string, you have to watch out the E string doesn't vibrate against your finger. You can hear this once in the vid. I plan to remove and replace the fingerboard with a wider one (and wider nut too).
Yup, piece of cake. I did this with my VSDB (post 285 of this part, pg15). I wired them in parallel, and it sounds just fine.
Thanks to jonadams for providing the idea!

To answer some of the questions:
This one looks like a 1/2 or a 3/4 cello. How long is the oscillating part of the string?
It's a 1/2 scale cello. The vibrating length between bridge and nut is 23 inches. The Thundergut string set I got says they are for a 20 inch scale, but I ended up cutting off a couple inches from each of the strings as they stretched. This is why I think Pahoehoe's would work, they stretch like crazy.
In the video the E and A strings look like sitting quite close at the nut. Is that a problem when playing in the low positions?
True! They are all really close. Not impossible to play, but when you go from the E to the A string, say when playing a low F on the E string, and then playing C or D on the A string, you have to watch out the E string doesn't vibrate against your finger. You can hear this once in the vid. I plan to remove and replace the fingerboard with a wider one (and wider nut too).
Is it possible to buy two piezo elements that go to a stereo or even a mono jack?
Yup, piece of cake. I did this with my VSDB (post 285 of this part, pg15). I wired them in parallel, and it sounds just fine.
Thanks to jonadams for providing the idea!