When my wife (keyboardist/singer) and I formed our new band about 6 months ago, we committed to "silent stage" and IEMs. We love it. The guitarist (acoustic) and percussionist who joined our band love it too. We can hear each other so much better and each of us has total control over what we hear in our personal monitor mix. We use the little Behringer individual monitor mixers, which connect to the IEM system via Ethernet and can be hung off of mic stands.
The key thing is that our personal monitor mix is completely independent of the FOH mixer. We have a small rack that has the IEM system, including a multi-channel preamp and a multi-channel XLR splitter (1 in / 2 out). So we plug our mics and instruments into the the splitter in our rack, and then for each input, one XLR cable goes out into our IEM system preamp and the other XLR cable goes out to the FOH mixer. Thus, the FOH mixer has zero control over our IEMs, and what we hear in our IEMs is the exact same regardless of if we're rehearsing, or playing a gig using our own FOH system, or playing a gig using the venue's FOH system. We get enough bleed into the IEMs of audience noise through the vocal and drum mics to prevent us from feeling isolated. If we ever felt the need, we could setup an "ambient" mic to pick up crowd noise, but we haven't felt that need yet.
I sold all my amps and cabs except a compact 1x12 RevSound that I keep around in case I'm ever asked to sit in somewhere where a stage rig is needed. I also kept my beloved Demeter 400D amp for that purpose, and it also serves as the preamp/DI for my bass into the IEMs. The result is the same bass sound in the IEMs that I've come to know and love from the Demeter.
During soundcheck, if I want to hear the FOH mix, I've got a 50' guitar cable I can plug in, pop out my IEMs, and stroll out front to check it out (would be even easier if I went wireless). A good FOH mix is so much easier to achieve now because it's not competing with instrument volume coming off of the stage.
YMMV, of course, but from my perspective this has been a monumental change for the better. I think maybe I got gradually acclimated to hearing my bass through IEMs because for several years I've mostly done my bass practicing using headphones.