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Leaving my band.
- Thread starter thlayli
- Start date
I contacted someone whose band had broken up and asked her to give her old bass player the bandleader's number. But it's up to them to find a replacement, I only made my suggestion because I know the guy can play.
The gig Saturday actually went well. I was informed by one of the other bandmates that I had been the one coming across as the most professional in the exchanges online, and we all just had a good time traveling and playing.
I'm not going to be bothered if I don't find or start another band quickly. I'm almost 40 years old, need to spend some time getting back into shape and riding my BMX after gaining some weight from quitting smoking last year (302 days without nicotine!), and am about to interview for a new/old job that I enjoyed a lot. I've been burning a candle at three ends for several years now, so a break is good.
Plus... more woodshedding! I have a new six to learn, an SX Ursa, and I want to actually learn to use it instead of just have it and get lost on it.
The gig Saturday actually went well. I was informed by one of the other bandmates that I had been the one coming across as the most professional in the exchanges online, and we all just had a good time traveling and playing.
I'm not going to be bothered if I don't find or start another band quickly. I'm almost 40 years old, need to spend some time getting back into shape and riding my BMX after gaining some weight from quitting smoking last year (302 days without nicotine!), and am about to interview for a new/old job that I enjoyed a lot. I've been burning a candle at three ends for several years now, so a break is good.
Plus... more woodshedding! I have a new six to learn, an SX Ursa, and I want to actually learn to use it instead of just have it and get lost on it.
Leaving sounds like the right choice, the BL is a bonehead for sure. Keep in touch with the drummer, woodshed, and enjoy a little time without.
But... you will miss it, and this is not your last chance as a musician. You'll be back.
But... you will miss it, and this is not your last chance as a musician. You'll be back.
I got replaced in one band after I was gone on a cruise and they had a gig. I even helped them find my fill-in.
I thought it was a really crappy, cowardly thing to do, but, they are still playing the same old, crappy bars in South Jersey...and I'm playing all over the country, and sometimes internationally, frequently in front of thousands of people.
The best revenge is living well.
If there's one theme I think I've seen is this-- bass players (unless they are the singers) are frequently disrespected in bands. They think that we are interchangeable. Always find someone else. So they usually will trample over your concerns. That's reality.
I thought it was a really crappy, cowardly thing to do, but, they are still playing the same old, crappy bars in South Jersey...and I'm playing all over the country, and sometimes internationally, frequently in front of thousands of people.
The best revenge is living well.
If there's one theme I think I've seen is this-- bass players (unless they are the singers) are frequently disrespected in bands. They think that we are interchangeable. Always find someone else. So they usually will trample over your concerns. That's reality.
That hasn't been the case for me as a bass player. If I quit the band, it usually folds. One way to solidify your position is to take a really strong role in the business management and gig-booking end of it. Also, I have rehearsal space and early on, was the only person with a PA system. I also have all the website passwords and manage the site....so far I've never been "dismissed"...knock wood.
BL has issues. Unfortunately he's involving you.
I suggest you take some time off and spend it with your family, especially the kid(s).
You only go around once with them and having their dad around more makes a big difference.
You can get back to music later.
Good luck!
I suggest you take some time off and spend it with your family, especially the kid(s).
You only go around once with them and having their dad around more makes a big difference.
You can get back to music later.
Good luck!
Now THAT'S how you make yourself irreplaceable. Book the shows, own the practice space, the web site, AND the PA. Heck they probably say "yes sir", "please" and "thank you" as well.
+ 1 I've done THAT... and it worked well for thye BL I did it. Plus, it's a good way to feel eased quickly. Once it's done, you'll be open and receptive for your family and your everyday job. For now your mind don't seem to.
It seems The Ignoringtons are showing you a great deal of disrespect by not listening to anything you say.:scowl:
Enjoy your time off from these dolts with your family.
With the level of disrespect shown thus far, I wouldn't put much effort into helping them with a replacement.
Enjoy your time off from these dolts with your family.
With the level of disrespect shown thus far, I wouldn't put much effort into helping them with a replacement.
Good news! They found a replacement, and my last gig with these guys will be this friday in Morgantown, WV at 123 Pleasant Street. I offered to help out prepping the guy that they found, but for some reason he doesn't seem to want me to do it. 
So I don't have to drag this all out another month, which was beginning to bug me quite a bit.
So I don't have to drag this all out another month, which was beginning to bug me quite a bit.
