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Let's spread some musical misinformation
- Thread starter pklima
- Start date
...and you'll need to learn how to 'gesture' as well on stage , if you want to look like a pro...
Just before a song starts.....look over to somewhere such as behind the stage curtain ( or if in a bar to some obscure rear doorway or somewhere where there might be a person that nobody out front can see..). . . . then raise your index finger and nod.....
Later after a song you can look over to the same place and do the "subway emergency-cable-pull" gesture.....as if you have just nailed the song 100%+.
Everyone will think you are dialed in with an important backstage techy.......therefore you are in a league above them musically.....because of this they will respect you and secretly wish to thank you for taking time out of your busy musical career to come down and play a lowlife dump like this one.....
Just before a song starts.....look over to somewhere such as behind the stage curtain ( or if in a bar to some obscure rear doorway or somewhere where there might be a person that nobody out front can see..). . . . then raise your index finger and nod.....
Later after a song you can look over to the same place and do the "subway emergency-cable-pull" gesture.....as if you have just nailed the song 100%+.
Everyone will think you are dialed in with an important backstage techy.......therefore you are in a league above them musically.....because of this they will respect you and secretly wish to thank you for taking time out of your busy musical career to come down and play a lowlife dump like this one.....
In case your audience doesn't know who's the boss, put it on display. Gals will stare at you throughout the gig (especially the ones who need glasses, but don't wanna wear them).
Don't forget to eat your basses! Basses are a good source of Vitamin B (good for a healthy bottom end), Vitamin F (helps get your funk on) and Vitamin C (helps to keep you the coolest person in the room). Don't forget to eat the cables too, as the bulk of Vitamin E is found in the shielding. Vitamin E helps keep your libido strong, which you will definitely need as a bass player. Now you know why most bass players have GAS and have to continually buy new instruments.
Also, don't forget to keep your pets healthy too!
Also, don't forget to keep your pets healthy too!
On what basses exactly do you make this nutritious claim? ^ Does the possessed moggie hold the key?
Every serious muso has one of these little chaps hiding in the wings somewhere,
Every serious muso has one of these little chaps hiding in the wings somewhere,
The info was obtained from The Musicians Guide to Better Eating. Abridged version. Yes, the possessed Moggie is something to take note of.
In other news;
Best Bass Gear 180-Volt Bass Battery System
StageTrix Logo
COMING SOON FROM BBG
A new battery system from BBG that will give your bass guitar all the power it truly deserves.
By running a twenty 9-volt battery series the BBG-180 is able to pump out enough power to by-pass the amplifier all together. You heard us right, NO AMP! Great sound from your bass straight to a cabinet.
With the new 180-volt battery system specially designed by Best Bass Gear the future is now, and your old amp is just a heavy, expensive end table.
The BBG 180V BBS is currently in production and should be out on the market soon, but until you get your hands on one here is some feedback from a few people who have already tested out the system.
Testimonials:
"I'll never need an amplifier again." - Bobby, Texas
"I always had a sneaky suspicion that I didn't have enough volts in my bass. Now I can sleep at night" - Evander, Minnesota
"It's pretty good. I'm hoping they come out with a 360-volt system soon, but this is pretty good." - Jenny, Washington
Schematics:
(This ad was lifted wholesale from Best Bass Gear site. Not a bad site, either).
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This is also known as the "STASH" bass.
Now you can confidently hide your goods.
Since no one will likely be patient enough to open ALL of the compartments, your weed has a 1 in 13 chance of remaining undetected (or a 100% probability of safety if you're really clever and hide it in the control cavity: no one's gonna bother with a screwdriver after lookin' in all of the battery compartments).
Install an alternator to the kick drum pedal to generate extra power for your bass amp. Tell the drummer it's cool, he'll buy it.
Be aware that most bass bodies contain Trans-fats....
Basses that are certified "organic" do not......
Epiphone basses have the highest caloric content..
Basses that are certified "organic" do not......
Epiphone basses have the highest caloric content..
If you practise in your bedroom, you can improve your playing by wearing 100% flannel pyjamas and a pair of Bunny slippers with big fuzzy ears on them.....
The fuzzy slippers will give you more fuzz tone..
For even greater effect you need to wear a beanie that has antlers on it......the antlers will focus your thoughts better...
Get your wife to wear earplugs and have her turn over and face the wall before she falls asleep.
This way, should you be hit by inspiration at 3 a.m., you can get up and knock off a few riffs without annoying her....
All the greatest bass players of our time started off by playing bass in the bedroom....
Many of the great Woodshed bassists ended up out there when they were kicked out of the bedroom.
The great thing about practising in the bedroom during daylight hours is that you can take a nap immediately when you realize you are never going to be any good at playing bass.
The fuzzy slippers will give you more fuzz tone..
For even greater effect you need to wear a beanie that has antlers on it......the antlers will focus your thoughts better...
Get your wife to wear earplugs and have her turn over and face the wall before she falls asleep.
This way, should you be hit by inspiration at 3 a.m., you can get up and knock off a few riffs without annoying her....
All the greatest bass players of our time started off by playing bass in the bedroom....
Many of the great Woodshed bassists ended up out there when they were kicked out of the bedroom.
The great thing about practising in the bedroom during daylight hours is that you can take a nap immediately when you realize you are never going to be any good at playing bass.
The ratio of bass players is higher in bedroom communities than out in the country.
All of the studio musicians and writers working for Motown slept in apartments above the studio........85% of all Motown hits were written between midnight and 4 a.m in the apartment bedrooms...
It was not uncommon to see bass players sleepwalking through the halls playing an unplugged Fender P-Bass....
As an historic byline, the songs "I'm Only Sleeping", "Mr. Sandman" and "Sleepy-time Gal" were written about sleepwalking studio musicians.
Often the musicians worked long,long hours to get a record made and would routinely fall asleep over their instruments while recording a track.
This why you will often hear an instrument riff at a certain point in a song only once....
All of the studio musicians and writers working for Motown slept in apartments above the studio........85% of all Motown hits were written between midnight and 4 a.m in the apartment bedrooms...
It was not uncommon to see bass players sleepwalking through the halls playing an unplugged Fender P-Bass....
As an historic byline, the songs "I'm Only Sleeping", "Mr. Sandman" and "Sleepy-time Gal" were written about sleepwalking studio musicians.
Often the musicians worked long,long hours to get a record made and would routinely fall asleep over their instruments while recording a track.
This why you will often hear an instrument riff at a certain point in a song only once....
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Single coil pickups only produce such a clear tone, because they're still single. That'll be gone when they meet a mat(ch)ing pickup to form a couple, known as humbucker.
Few know that Christopher Columbus actually worked for Ibanez.
Ibanez was originally a Spanish company making handcrafted stringed instruments.
However good wood was becoming scarce in Europe and Ibanez needed a better source.
They hired Columbus when they heard a rumor about a "new world" across the ocean that had an almost infinite supply of wood.
Columbus, at the time was a failed Spanish guitar player and wanted to take up bass anyway......so it wasn't hard to talk him into making an expedition...
Ibanez was originally a Spanish company making handcrafted stringed instruments.
However good wood was becoming scarce in Europe and Ibanez needed a better source.
They hired Columbus when they heard a rumor about a "new world" across the ocean that had an almost infinite supply of wood.
Columbus, at the time was a failed Spanish guitar player and wanted to take up bass anyway......so it wasn't hard to talk him into making an expedition...
No-one has, as yet, written a song using Yellow notes.
It is considerably difficult...especially when you combine Yellow notes with Blue notes and they end up Green.
It is considerably difficult...especially when you combine Yellow notes with Blue notes and they end up Green.
