Let's spread some musical misinformation

[-Asdfgh-]

I would love a Precision viola. That is not misinformation.

But it would go against the viola players code!

 

[PillO]

But it would go against the viola players code!

Viola players have no code. The only musicians with a code are drummers:
Thou shalt not read music,
Thou shalt not use big words,
Thou shalt not play softly...

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Viola players have no code.

Not true. That of the viola players is based on the other group of outcasts, often hunted down by the authorities, pirates.

 

[PillO]

Not true. That of the viola players is based on the other group of outcasts, often hunted down by the authorities, pirates.

You can tell which abide the code; they refer to their instrument as a viol-arrrrrh.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

You can tell which abide the code; they refer to their instrument as a viol-arrrrrh.

And playing one shivers its timbers too. Sadly, being a viola, probably at the wrong frequency. Pirates were more keen on violince than violas.

 

[Shannon]

And playing one shivers its timbers too. Sadly, being a viola, probably at the wrong frequency.

Violas were once made out of 100% tonewood and available in seafoam green, but indy pirate bands were all tricked into thinking it was the electric guitar responsible for the success of both surf rock and sea chanties. Once the truth was known, people also successfully discovered the best viola for metal. The resulting chaos cost us all those who knew the mythic instruments secrets, and current violas have no tonewood at all, because nobody knows which viola is best for metal. Or any other genre of music, for that matter...

 

[prowla]

Violas were once made out of 100% tonewood and available in seafoam green...

They were supposed to be violet, but the paint reacted with the sea salt and turned green.

 

[PillO]

The resulting chaos cost us all those who knew the mythic instruments secrets, and current violas have no tonewood at all, because nobody knows which viola is best for metal

I think it has been well established that this is the best bass for metal, shown with the best metal bassist.

 

[Jay2U]

A violin is best for metal. This is how it's done.

 

[PillO]

A violin is best for metal. This is how it's done.

Heavy metal violin was invented by Nashville Thebodiah Slasher, better known as Nash The Slash.



Actually, that may not be misinformation...

 

[Jay2U]

Heavy metal violin was invented by Nashville Thebodiah Slasher, better known as Nash The Slash.



Actually, that may not be misinformation...

...but it is. Here's the founder of metal on violin: Jim Lea, bassist for Slade.

 

[PillO]

...but it is. Here's the founder of metal on violin: Jim Lea, bassist for Slade.

There is a long history of violin use in heavy metal.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

I think it has been well established that this is the best bass for metal, shown with the best metal bassist.

Lemmy started out looking so clean-cut

 

[prowla]

...but it is. Here's the founder of metal on violin: Jim Lea, bassist for Slade.

The sound overdubbed onto that really was a screeching cat.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

The sound overdubbed onto that really was a screeching cat.

No, Noddy Holder had just naughtily substituted a viola. That's just what they sound like. Cum On Feel The Noiz indeed. Weer All Crazee Now due to the viola to the extent we can no longer spell (or as autocorrect had it 'poo well')

 

[Jay2U]

No, Noddy Holder had just naughtily substituted a viola. That's just what they sound like. Cum On Feel The Noiz indeed. Weer All Crazee Now due to the viola to the extent we can no longer spell (or as autocorrect had it 'poo well')

This is not true! Look Wot You Dun!

 

[pklima]

On his first trip to the US, David Bowie auditioned for the Amboy Dukes, but was rejected because his look did not fit the band. Ted Nugent told him he looks too thin and white.

 

[ashtray]

My amp isn't producing any sounds. Its been like that for nearly 2 months now. It has power, and is correctly hooked up to a 4x10 cab - but no sound at all. I go in the room at least once a week, but no change. One of these days I'll try plugging my bass in to it again.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

On his first trip to the US, David Bowie auditioned for the Amboy Dukes, but was rejected because his look did not fit the band. Ted Nugent told him he looks too thin and white.

hence he became known as The Thin White Not A Duke, thus not allowed into parties with The King, King of Pop, Prince, Prince Buster, Steve Earle, Queen Latifa, Lady Gaga, and Bez from Happy Mondays until he dropped the "not a" part.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Open G tuning is to be officially known as "this clever trick lots of dead old guys don't want you to know about which will help you play blues guitar". Keith Richards knew, but he passed away in 2004 and is now played by Johnny Depp. (Casting for Mick Jagger is ongoing but I can confirm Paul McGann did not get the part).