Let's spread some musical misinformation

[Feral Feline]

The Spanish Flu of 1919-20 was so called as all of Gibson's Spanish guitars were turned into toilet paper then. Rumours than some later 1950s guitars were made of engineered woods from unused Gibson TP are unconfirmed.

This unparalleled event was the inspiration for, and subject of, the song by the band "OPEN WINDOWS" — who later changed their name to the "Swinging Doors" before shortening their name further... The track, of course, is "SPANISH CARAVAN" which alludes to the great land-trains of Australia, the convoys of 18-Wheelers headed into the Pacific Northwest, the union of European cab-overs, etc — each continent bar Antarctica had roads jammed with trucks taking all Gibson Spanish-origins guitars to their respective continent's centralised recycling/TP-manufacturing plant.

My, how the lands were scoured of Gibson Spanish instruments... the authorities ruthlessly ripping still-ringing instruments from poor begging-musicians' hands; homes invaded, beds overturned, attics violated, closets ransacked... a voracious appetite, the woodchipper had, for turning sonorous cellulose fibres into nothing more than bum-fluff fodder for the flatulent...

... NONE could avoid, indeed NOBODY EXPECTED...


THE SPANISH INQUISITION !

 

[jamro217]

The Spanish Flu of 1919-20 was so called as all of Gibson's Spanish guitars were turned into toilet paper then. Rumours than some later 1950s guitars were made of engineered woods from unused Gibson TP are unconfirmed.

Wait a minute. That's true! Hendrix knew about this and tried to reveal it to his fans in code. He rarely played Gibsons except for what appeared to be a vintage Flying V (although it could have been a Les Paul made of TP starting to unroll). He was "sitting on the throne" when he wrote Spanish Castle Magic. Spanish for the connection to the flu, Castle because he was on the throne, and Magic because that's what it would take to make a TP Gibson playable.

 

[Jay2U]

The world ran out of TP because the Chinese build bass and guitar bodies from paper mache.

 

[El Güero]

E# and B# are missing because Moses traded them for the Ten Commandments.

 

[PillO]

E# and B# are missing because Moses traded them for the Ten Commandments.

If he had parted with Fb and Cb as well, he could have gotten the other ten commandments and the bonus 21st commandment.

 

[El Güero]

If he had parted with Fb and Cb as well, he could have gotten the other ten commandments and the bonus 21st commandment.

Hindsight is 20/20.

 

[PillO]

Hindsight is 20/20.

Actually, in this case hind-sight is 21/20

 

[1bassleft]

Lyrics Genius is now rewriting its pages to take into account vocalists performing in face masks. They have started with Whitesnake's classic "Fool For Your Loving"

Foofur yurluffinamorph
Foofur yurluffinamorph
Thotiedth dryin, uhwarwayzenduf crine
Foofur yurluffinamorph

 

[jamro217]

The Carpenters were famous due to Leon Russell (who wrote some of their hit songs). Not for his songs, but for his unintended recommendation to a record company exec looking for ideas. After a long, tiring day in the studio with the Wrecking Crew, Mr. Russell got a call from his wife Mary about some home improvements they were considering. Just then, the exec asked if Leon knew of any decent unsigned acts. With his back to the label man, an insistent Mr. Russell blurted into the phone: "Yes, of course! Call the carpenters right away!" to his wife unaware anyone else was nearby. The A+M exec did as he thought he was told to and signed Karen and Richard to a contract. When they showed up in person to thank him, Leon was surprised to say the least, but remained kind and gracious nonetheless. The home repairs came in under budget and were done in a timely manner, also.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

If its as bad over in the US as it is here all bands with Doctor in the title have just been called up to work in the NHS. Can you imagine being taken into A&E to face __________ (put your favourite rock star here) AAAARGGHHH put me back in that ambulance and get me out of here...

(PS please dont jump all over me, I know its serious but... if you dont have a sense of humour you should have joined)

It's even worse if you get treated by the Sisters of Mercy drum machine. "Take two tablets of adrenochrome a day and come back in a week".

 

[-Asdfgh-]

The Sisters of Mercy singer is actually Spanish - Andreas El Dritch is his real name.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

The Carpenters were famous due to Leon Russell (who wrote some of their hit songs). Not for his songs, but for his unintended recommendation to a record company exec looking for ideas. After a long, tiring day in the studio with the Wrecking Crew, Mr. Russell got a call from his wife Mary about some home improvements they were considering. Just then, the exec asked if Leon knew of any decent unsigned acts. With his back to the label man, an insistent Mr. Russell blurted into the phone: "Yes, of course! Call the carpenters right away!" to his wife unaware anyone else was nearby. The A+M exec did as he thought he was told to and signed Karen and Richard to a contract. When they showed up in person to thank him, Leon was surprised to say the least, but remained kind and gracious nonetheless. The home repairs came in under budget and were done in a timely manner, also.

Of course, the Wrecking Crew was an actual wrecking crew, hence the need for the carpenters.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Wait a minute. That's true! Hendrix knew about this and tried to reveal it to his fans in code. He rarely played Gibsons except for what appeared to be a vintage Flying V (although it could have been a Les Paul made of TP starting to unroll). He was "sitting on the throne" when he wrote Spanish Castle Magic. Spanish for the connection to the flu, Castle because he was on the throne, and Magic because that's what it would take to make a TP Gibson playable.

I think you misunderstood. It was Masonite that was made of the left over 1920 Gibson TP after the Stone Cutters bought up all the left over stock. Hence the name. Although given the farty tone you have to wonder about some of those early Gibson basses and their possible tone wood.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

The world ran out of TP because the Chinese build bass and guitar bodies from paper mache.

That's what all the boutique guitars are made from - compressed TP with fancy wood veneers. They are worth their weight in gold now, but that's only because no one has realised you can beat gold out into very thin layers and wipe your behind with it.

 

[1bassleft]

Many people think this is the first time an epidemic has caused a toilet paper shortage, but the old 'uns here will remember the High School Runny Nose pandemic of 1963. This caused such a shortage of tissue that state high schools were reduced to stocking the cubicles with used 400 grade wet 'n' dry from the woodworking shops.

Four talented students formed a band, calling themselves The Ruffasses and recorded a protest song Wipeout, although the lyrics (pointedly referring to the Principal's latrine stocking quilted 3-ply) were discovered on the lead singer's person and he did a full weekend detention writing out "The Principal does not have piles" 10k times so the song became an instrumental.

The demo made it to the label but a combination of poor spelling and ineffective PVA glue on their DIY logo led to the band being misnamed The Surfaris as the record was pressed. On the plus side, the record sleeve proved to be strong, smooth and highly absorbent, making it a hit with desperate teenagers. Records with the original sleeve have always been highly prized; now more than ever.

 

[Scooter Johnson]

DANGER DANGER .... Never plug a right-handed guitar or bass into a left-handed amp.....

Read the instructions

 

[1bassleft]

As their financial problems mounted, members of The Who were forced to seek part-time work. Both Keith Moon and Pete Townshend applied for a vacancy at UPS. Moon started his interview promisingly, driving his Austin Seven through the office window, mistaking it for the entrance. However, Townshend outdid him by picking up a box labeled "Ming Dynasty vase for LBJ" above his head, uttering the words "People try to put us d-d-down" and the priceless artifact was a dented package of shards by the third "d". Handed a Damaged Goods Form, Townshend simply wrote "I Can't Explain".

Coinciding with his new job, Townshend now had an endless supply of high-end instruments despite his low pay. At a gig at The Railway Tavern in London, following a string break, their volunteer roadie, "Frank the Fence" passed him a brand new Gibson to continue playing. However, Townshend saw the "Fragile, Please Handle With Care" label and all his training and instincts took over.

Thus, a rock cliché was born. Keith Moon, still smarting at losing the UPS job, later played live on TV with two lit sticks of dynamite. The resulting explosion caused his ride cymbal to fly straight into the face of studio guest Bette Davis. Kim Carnes found this highly amusing, but the lyrics to her song "He got Bette Davis' Eyes" were changed for legal reasons.


LBJ received a partial refund from UPS posthumously in 1976

 

[Jay2U]

Jazz was invented during the great depression of 1929, to use up dead strings.

 

[PillO]

Jazz was invented during the great depression of 1929, to use up dead strings.

Pffffft. Dead strings were invented to try to exhaust jazz!

 

[NZBassman]

Apparently bugs bunnies teeth are exactly 2mm thick and would make an excellent pick for metal bassists