Let's spread some musical misinformation

[Leigh Semmens]

 

[-Asdfgh-]

In string theory, there's no difference between string theory and string practice.

Which means, theoretically, I'm an excellent bassist as I have a degree in physics.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

Silence is nothing more than loud music with perfectly entangled notes.

Yes, that Simon and Garfunkel song is actually the loudest song in the multiverses.

Speaking if which, even though there are infinite multiverses, there is still not one in which Justin Bieber doesn't suck, so don't let anyone tell you that infinite multiverses all things are possible. Some things are just impossible given the laws of physics. Nature abhors a vacuum, and some other things beside.

 

[Leigh Semmens]

Nature abhors a vacuum, and some other things beside.

You obviously haven't met some people. Inside their heads is where black holes go to die!

 

[BrassedOn]

The changes I’m playing ARE the “right” changes.

 

[Jay2U]

The louder I practise, the better I play.

 

[PDW30]

The louder I practise, the better I play.

The louder I play, the happier the neighbours are.

 

[Jay2U]

The louder I play, the happier the neighbours are.

The happier my neighbours are, the louder I play.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

I practice loud, my neighbours are deaf. These facts are connected.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

If you play drums outdoors, cows will come to see. Actually, that one is true. Sorry.

If you play outdoors, cows will come to see. That's better, as that is actually disinformation.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

You can use a bass and place the amp flat on the ground to charm worms from your lawn, which is very useful in these straightened economic times as they are excellent source of protein.

Not disinformation : putting your amp on your lawn and playing Level 42 slap solos will keep the local kids off it. However, it will attract police and they are not such a good source of protein as worms unless you additionally build a doughnut-baited trap.

 

[whero]

11 is twice as loud as 1

If it's a digital amp, then it's binary, so 11 is three times as loud as 1.

 

[Levent]

Your basses brand is the most important component in the signal chain, the older the better.

 

[PDW30]

People will tell you that your fingers are an important part of your bass tone. So it's vital to raise two fingers to all your bandmates before each number.

 

[dougjwray]

Bassist Elmer Mahoney of Syracuse, N.Y. liked to play fingerstyle, but he wanted a more pick-like attack. One night in 1984, when he was in an experimenting mood, he scraped all of the flesh and muscle off of the last two joints of his plucking index and middle fingers, using old, dull, non-disinfected toenail clippers.
Not only did he achieve the sound he wanted, but he gained a great new nickname: Bony Mahoney!

 

[Jay2U]

Many professional bass players treat the tips of their plucking fingers with super glue to get a snappy attack.

 

[PDW30]

The happier my neighbours are, the louder I play.

That'll teach them to be happy.

 

[Leigh Semmens]

Many professional bass players treat the tips of their plucking fingers with super glue to get a snappy attack.

I always thought it was to stop them sliding to the wrong note.

 

[Jay2U]

I always thought it was to stop them sliding to the wrong note.

That's what jumbo frets are for.

 

[-Asdfgh-]

People will tell you that your fingers are an important part of your bass tone. So it's vital to raise two fingers to all your bandmates before each number.

Yes, people think English archers did this to the French because of the longbow, but it was to warn them that after the arrows the King would be doing a bass solo.

In other news, the Welsh Wizard of bass, Pino Paladino's name derives from the word paladin, or knight, due to his Welsh forbears' service to Owen Glendower when they would use their 'axes' to hew down invading English, and then write mornful bass solos to lament the bloodshed.