Looking into the face of despair

[slobake]

Some days I am feel like I am just holding on. Fighting depression and despair and I don't even know why. Nothing will change it but time and realizing that I am a human being who lives here in the world and have my struggles just like anyone else.
I am awed (seriously) but what I have read about some people's lives here on Talkbass. I am talking about people of faith, agnostics, atheists and those of you who identify yourself in some other way. The human spirit is amazing, some of you have been through horrendous struggles and come out whole. I am encouraged to push on and not hide from my own humanness. Thanks for that.
I am not asking for advice or pity, I will get past this. I do hope that admitting here that I am human and not a perfect smiling mannequin all the time will help some others. We all struggle and if you are don't believe for a second that there is somehting wrong with you becuse of that. My old mentor Fire Fighter Tim once told me "Don't judge your insides by the outside of others."
Be real, be human and live the life we have been given my brothers and sisters. The alternative is becoming a walking zombie that denies any emotion good or bad. That is walking death, I know I have tried it.

You may vote for more than one choice in the poll, I sure did.

 

[yodedude2]

been there, still visit sometimes. do not disdain professional help. peace and blessings to ya

 

[slobake]

been there, still visit sometimes. do not disdain professional help. peace and blessings to ya

Thank for that, I will add professional help to the pole.

 

[Aberdumbie]

All of the above??

 

[galonso]

Sometimes depression is just unbalances in the brain and professional help is needed (it was for me).

 

[Pilgrim]

This is not a problem I have ever experienced. When I get down, I do something about it. Could be changing moods by going out for a walk; could be a burrito; could be a beer (one, not 12); could be a good night's sleep and digging into whatever is bothering me the next day.

Sitting and moping about problems simply isn't in my personality. I appreciate my good fortune in that respect.

 

[Gorn]

Drugs used to really do the trick for me. Lots and lots of drugs. Now that I'm a square, maaaaan, I just kind of shrug it off. I don't know a better way to describe it. I get depressed and I go on about my business. Try to laugh at it. All things must pass.

 

[slobake]

This is not a problem I have ever experienced. When I get down, I do something about it. Could be changing moods by going out for a walk; could be a burrito; could be a beer (one, not 12); could be a good night's sleep and digging into whatever is bothering me the next day.

Sitting and moping about problems simply isn't in my personality. I appreciate my good fortune in that respect.

I agree. If I made it seem like sitting and moping is a good option then I have not expressed myself accurately. My intention was to encourage others. Retiring to the dark pit of despair and locking the door not a good way to deal with life.
Sometimes there are no easy answers either. Some answers are simple but not easy. We all walk through these things and most of us find ways to cope even if it is just toughing it out until we get better and it always does.
If it doesn't get better then it is time for professional help. I am not a health care professional so my advice should not be take as seriously as someone who knows about behavioral health.

 

[S-Bigbottom]

Just eat a burrito and be happy you have a damn good burrito, and others do not.

I feel that S%^* happens, it is how you react to it that makes your life worse or better because of it.
It is ok to mourn something or feel sad about something or a situation. But every situation is temporary and will soon pass, then other better or worse things will happen. People have things worse than you, others have things better than you. Do not care about them, enjoy yourself and your family now.
I will not spend today worrying about the past, because I will miss the great things that can happen today.

 

[S-Bigbottom]

And A good cat poster also helps.

 

[buzzbass]

I've grown to accept that there are people that are born basically happy, and they tend to remain that way. Then, there are those of us that aren't, and tend remain that way. Most of my coping has resulted from realizing this. I used to beat myself up for being a miserable person. I'm just not the Little Mary Sunshine type, get over it. Once I accepted me for me, things became easier. I'm not good, or bad. I just am.....

 

[BboogieXVII]

When stuck in a rut and wanting to mope I do a few things. A. Make a plan to do something (even if it's only to take out the trash) B. Implement the plan. C. Make another plan etc etc.

Or sometimes I get a bottle of somethin strong but that's a bad choice for me.

Another good thing I do is read a book or listen to some really kickass music. maybe do something helpful for someone else.

 

[shadowtippy]

When I hit a low point, I remind myself that I could be ________(someone I feel is in worse shape) . I have had some very low points for no apparent (to me) reason. Things will get better.

 

[Aberdumbie]

When I hit a low point, I remind myself that I could be ________(someone I feel is in worse shape) . I have had some very low points for no apparent (to me) reason. Things will get better.

Yeah.... That is really the secret...... My office is downtown. Days that I feel down or more often overwhelmed and dragging.... I honestly take a different route to work. It takes me by the temporary labor stand. Usually a dozen or so fellows standing there hoping somebody will stop and give them a days work so they can bring a meal home to their families that evening...... It is a big slap in my face reminder of just how fortunate I have been on this roller coaster we call life.

 

[bolophonic]

When I am feeling down, I usually indulge in it for a while... I just let it happen.

Once it is time to get back on my feet, I try to get serious about diet, sleep and exercise. I do my best to carve out a nagging project and see it through to the end. For example, I have been saying that I was going to build an outdoor shower for a long time. I spent some free time today doing all the planning and gathering of tools and materials so that I can knock it out tomorrow and cross it off the list. Sometimes I like to just roll up a doob and chill with my bass and some music. My wife and children really help to keep me grounded and stable. I graduated from Prozac to mindfulness practice years ago.

 

[ZenG]

Anyone who tells you to just shape up, pull up your socks and get on with things has absolutely no idea what clinical depression is. At all period.
There are a multitude of causes for deep or severe depression. As well as things like Testosterone and Serotonin imbalances.

Nobody is going to "pep talk" you out of those.
I would suggest professional help if it's ongoing and you feel you can't rise above it.

 

[P. Aaron]

I know there's depression & anxiety in my family tree but, when I start feeling anxious or 'off', I realize it's because I am not taking on enough responsibilities and/or chances...as in sales or just talking to new people and widening my circle of possible prospects.

A new challenge could be as beneficial as therapy.

Don't be afraid of failure, I rarely get what I want.

 

[96tbird]

Is that a bean burrito? Then, burrito.

I know you will get to the other side of this. Kidnap that grandson and spend the entire day with him.

 

[Joe Nerve]

As alluded to in your OP, I think social media has more to do with our moods and depression than most might think. The pictures others paint on Facebook are far from the reality of most of their inner lives. I believe if people were truly as happy, joyous, and free as they presented themselves to be - they wouldn't be posting on Facebook.

You already know my rant on chemical imbalances and medication, so I'll save the derail...

FWIW, I still go through the same as you describe, and realize it might look very different from the outside. I do my best to keep things positive here, but I have my days (sometimes weeks and months) of despair also. I learned that sadly this isn't the best place for me to air that stuff out. Thankfully I have other resources, as I know you do too.

The only thing I honestly know that works 100% of the time is helping others. I find when I'm reaching out and doing things to help other people, it's virtually impossible for me to be feeling crappy about myself. It has a cumulative effect too.

I want to say hang in there, but that sounds almost demeaning, as I'm certain you will. And I inderstand that's not what you're looking for. I will say - you're not alone. And your post achieved its mission. I needed to hear it . Thanks.

 

[the harp unstrung]

realizing that I am a human being who lives here in the world and have my struggles just like anyone else.

What HE said...