The superficial pep talks--it's too bad those can't be against the law.
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Looking into the face of despair
- Thread starter slobake
- Start date
The superficial pep talks--it's too bad those can't be against the law.
I answered put on a fake smile and pretend I am happy, unfortunately that quit working for me several years ago.
Professional help is the best answer if you can do it. Although finding someone who you can trust and work with isn't easy. I had one counselor (not a psych of either sort) who ended up calling me a mix of Charlie Brown and Eeyore. That was over 20 years ago and it still bothers me.
Personally, I felt better on certain meds, but that isn't an option anymore since I have no money or insurance. So I have given up. I just go day to day existing and hoping that each day is the last.
Good luck.
Russ
Professional help is the best answer if you can do it. Although finding someone who you can trust and work with isn't easy. I had one counselor (not a psych of either sort) who ended up calling me a mix of Charlie Brown and Eeyore. That was over 20 years ago and it still bothers me.
Personally, I felt better on certain meds, but that isn't an option anymore since I have no money or insurance. So I have given up. I just go day to day existing and hoping that each day is the last.
Good luck.
Russ
I'm generally not a person prone to serious depression. Professional help for those that are.
It may sound cliché, but when I'm down I like to:
Play with my dogs - They can be more uplifting and loving than people.
Studies show petting, hugging or playing with a canine pal can do wonders for ones disposition.
It may sound cliché, but when I'm down I like to:
Play with my dogs - They can be more uplifting and loving than people.
Studies show petting, hugging or playing with a canine pal can do wonders for ones disposition.
Ok. As with all the free advice you get on the internet, FWIW, YMMV, I am not a trained professional, $0.02, etc.
slo, I'm sorry it's crap right now. As someone who has a substantial history with mental health issues, and another substantial history with life crap, I'm a tad concerned about what you're saying. The word that raises the red flag for me is 'despair.' All of us go through stuff, and you've had your share with family, historical issues, city life. It seems like you've come through it well, with what I call 'a good attitude with hiccups' and a general appreciation that you can learn and grow as a human being. You've been able to identify what's going on, approach the problems in reasonable and rational ways, and live with the results. Good work!
Nowhere in what you've described in your life over the last how many years I've been around have I heard despair or even depression. I've heard the occasional discouragement, but it's been specific, understandable, and usually temporary. This sounds different, which may mean it IS different.
Depression is a real illness that can strike people for little apparent reason. Exercise, paying closer attention to a healthy diet, having good sleep hygiene, talking with friends - these are all things that help some people, but they're less likely to yank you out of 'despair' than they are out of 'blah.' If this has been going on for more than a couple of weeks, hie thee to thy friendly family doctor and let her have a go at it. Be honest, don't pull punches, and don't feel like you have to have it all figured out. She'll know questions to ask, and she may send you to a specialist. You may have a physical issue going on you didn't know about, also. Get this checked out.
Rooting for you, man!
slo, I'm sorry it's crap right now. As someone who has a substantial history with mental health issues, and another substantial history with life crap, I'm a tad concerned about what you're saying. The word that raises the red flag for me is 'despair.' All of us go through stuff, and you've had your share with family, historical issues, city life. It seems like you've come through it well, with what I call 'a good attitude with hiccups' and a general appreciation that you can learn and grow as a human being. You've been able to identify what's going on, approach the problems in reasonable and rational ways, and live with the results. Good work!
Nowhere in what you've described in your life over the last how many years I've been around have I heard despair or even depression. I've heard the occasional discouragement, but it's been specific, understandable, and usually temporary. This sounds different, which may mean it IS different.
Depression is a real illness that can strike people for little apparent reason. Exercise, paying closer attention to a healthy diet, having good sleep hygiene, talking with friends - these are all things that help some people, but they're less likely to yank you out of 'despair' than they are out of 'blah.' If this has been going on for more than a couple of weeks, hie thee to thy friendly family doctor and let her have a go at it. Be honest, don't pull punches, and don't feel like you have to have it all figured out. She'll know questions to ask, and she may send you to a specialist. You may have a physical issue going on you didn't know about, also. Get this checked out.
Rooting for you, man!
Yikes. That counselor should have their license revoked. That was mean.
'Fake it 'til you make it' is overrated! No chance for Medicare sort of help with meds? Any peer-to-peer counseling options?
Thanks Joe, we think alike in some ways.As alluded to in your OP, I think social media has more to do with our moods and depression than most might think. The pictures others paint on Facebook are far from the reality of most of their inner lives. I believe if people were truly as happy, joyous, and free as they presented themselves to be - they wouldn't be posting on Facebook.
You already know my rant on chemical imbalances and medication, so I'll save the derail...
FWIW, I still go through the same as you describe, and realize it might look very different from the outside. I do my best to keep things positive here, but I have my days (sometimes weeks and months) of despair also. I learned that sadly this isn't the best place for me to air that stuff out. Thankfully I have other resources, as I know you do too.
The only thing I honestly know that works 100% of the time is helping others. I find when I'm reaching out and doing things to help other people, it's virtually impossible for me to be feeling crappy about myself. It has a cumulative effect too.
I want to say hang in there, but that sounds almost demeaning, as I'm certain you will. And I inderstand that's not what you're looking for. I will say - you're not alone. And your post achieved its mission. I needed to hear it. Thanks.
look into psilocybin therapy. it's a real thing!
How 'magic mushroom' chemical could treat depression - CNN.com
How 'magic mushroom' chemical could treat depression - CNN.com
in today's world if you don't have a trace of depression, you might be uninformed or cynical.
yet count your blessings and don't take things for granted. you probably have what to thank.
down is not the way to choose.
up, and consider external help.
yet count your blessings and don't take things for granted. you probably have what to thank.
down is not the way to choose.
up, and consider external help.
I'm going through a depressive episode right now. Its been about 8 weeks. I haven't had one like this in several years. I know that it will pass, and have to remind myself of that often. I have to remind myself that my wife and kids need me. I am useful. Its sucks, but it's something that has plagued me my entire life. Meds don't help, I'm not "me" when I'm on anti depressants, so I choose to deal with the depression head on. Its an uphill battle.
I'm not a Dr but I have seen one on TV.
If you feel or act in ways that feel beyond your control, see a doc. You don't have to accept it.
I can't decide if that statement is true for me but I have reached out to docs to explain where I do feel something isn't right. It's scarey stuff but we are better off reaching out.
Cheers. Michael
If you feel or act in ways that feel beyond your control, see a doc. You don't have to accept it.
I can't decide if that statement is true for me but I have reached out to docs to explain where I do feel something isn't right. It's scarey stuff but we are better off reaching out.
Cheers. Michael
Have been dealing something similar for most of my 51 years. Every person and every case is different, and yet in another way, we are all also more alike than we often admit. Your friend Tim gave you great advice - he sounds like a program guy, and these folks have a LOT of good advice to give. They've been there, and that's worth a lot when you need to talk to someone.
In my case, I've learned that regardless of whether I was born this way or whether I was shaped this way by life, there is a physical/chemical component to it that can basically be represented by a pyramid with three points:
- Sleep
- Diet/Hydration
- Exorcise (not just a play on words! IMO this should be the universal spelling because it accomplishes both things)
If any of these points is out of balance, I won't feel my best. If two of them are out of whack, life is a chore. If all three are out of alignment... well, those are dark days. My best advice is to strive to develop good habits in these areas, do what you can, then make the best of the time and energy you have left in each day. Good luck, and FlyingspaghettimonsterSpeed, my friend.
Gaolee
Official leathers tester and crash dummy
I'm not prone to depression or despair, but I will admit to being overwhelmed by things at times. It seems that everything happens at once. It can be good, but often enough, it's a whole lot of problem stuff all at once. Some of it can be serious, other bits of it are just time consuming pains in the butt, but it all happens and demands attention at once. I deal with it by being busy. That's probably the carrots response, but it just means keeping on doing whatever needs to be done at the time until it all gets dealt with one way or another. It might get screwed up, too, but that's a form of dealt with that can be dealt with again in the future. Nothing is ever final. Death might not even be final, but none of us get to find out as a test run, and nobody can report back to tell us. No point in worrying about things you have no control over, even if they suck.
Most people experience at least one episode of prolonged depression in their lives. Many will experience several, while some are burdened with perpetual despair.
The one commonality is depression always has a root cause. As has been pointed out, sleep, diet, exercise and overall health have a great deal to do with feeling well. If one or more of these are less than adequate, then depression can easily result. Actively address your physical health in these areas to make them optimal and you can often get rid of your depression entirely.
Another source of depression is a stressful or unpleasant environment. If you live or work (or both) in a place that exudes constant negativity, then depression is more likely, especially if you feel trapped there with no way out.
It may be difficult to change your home or work place, but sometimes it's necessary for the benefit of your long term wellness.
Probably the most difficult cause of depression to treat is one that is caused by a physical condition more involved than sleep, diet or exercise. Professional medical help is recommended as such conditions are so varied and complex. They might include mental illness, physical disease, a psychologically ingrained behavior disorder, presciption or illicit drug use effects or something else. Seeing a doctor for a thorough evaluation is essential.
The one commonality is depression always has a root cause. As has been pointed out, sleep, diet, exercise and overall health have a great deal to do with feeling well. If one or more of these are less than adequate, then depression can easily result. Actively address your physical health in these areas to make them optimal and you can often get rid of your depression entirely.
Another source of depression is a stressful or unpleasant environment. If you live or work (or both) in a place that exudes constant negativity, then depression is more likely, especially if you feel trapped there with no way out.
It may be difficult to change your home or work place, but sometimes it's necessary for the benefit of your long term wellness.
Probably the most difficult cause of depression to treat is one that is caused by a physical condition more involved than sleep, diet or exercise. Professional medical help is recommended as such conditions are so varied and complex. They might include mental illness, physical disease, a psychologically ingrained behavior disorder, presciption or illicit drug use effects or something else. Seeing a doctor for a thorough evaluation is essential.
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- Sleep
- Diet/Hydration
- Exorcise (not just a play on words! IMO this should be the universal spelling because it accomplishes both things)
If any of these points is out of balance, I won't feel my best. If two of them are out of whack, life is a chore. If all three are out of alignment... well, those are dark days. My best advice is to strive to develop good habits in these areas, do what you can, then make the best of the time and energy you have left in each day. Good luck, and FlyingspaghettimonsterSpeed, my friend.
There is a lot of truth in this, for me at least. If it is manageable to do a bone crunching, lung splitting work out, then by all means do it. I have always felt better after doing some serious exercise, sometimes it's delayed until the next day but yeah it seems to never fail.
Just got some lab results back. My calcium is low. Read that mild low calcium levels can cause depression. Also some of the meds I was taking could be contributing to overtiredness and depression. Working with the docs on that with them.
My point is that there can be lots of contributing factors - many of which you don't have to live with.
As others have said, diet and excercise can counteract the effects.
For me, just being around my wife is a constant preventative for depression. Frequent frenzied, alcohol-fueled adult acrobatics also help.
When she left town recently for four days I felt like a zombie.
When she left town recently for four days I felt like a zombie.
Ah, the black tentacles of despair. I know them well. It's hard to describe what I do to fight them off. Some indulgences like a good burrito are a good start. Inspirational music helps (I like "Born Too Loose" by the Heartbreakers) to put me in a good mood. I hang out and interact with people I know and who know me. Then I just have to make myself cowboy up and get back on the horse, I guess.
I do hope you feel better soon. I always enjoy your posts and contributions.
I do hope you feel better soon. I always enjoy your posts and contributions.
I, too, am having issues with depression. I have a lot going well in my life, but I also have some issues. I am truly thankful for my friends and family, and all I do have. I am going though a lot of pain and I am dealing with a facial paralysis that leaves me functionally blind. I am totally dependent on others to get me places, do grocery shopping, etc. My wife is trying to take care of everything, and I am having trouble helping.
I know that my life could be worse and that many others are worse off than I am. I know that I have support from those that love me. I know that I am blessed in may ways. But that does not stop the hopeless feeling, the feeling of being nothing but a burden.
Unfortunately, I end up taking it out on my wife and daughter, which makes me feel worse. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you Slobake, but all I can offer is take one day at a time. I'm trying to. I do enjoy your posts.
I know that my life could be worse and that many others are worse off than I am. I know that I have support from those that love me. I know that I am blessed in may ways. But that does not stop the hopeless feeling, the feeling of being nothing but a burden.
Unfortunately, I end up taking it out on my wife and daughter, which makes me feel worse. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you Slobake, but all I can offer is take one day at a time. I'm trying to. I do enjoy your posts.
