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make up a new disease

slobake

slobake

resident ... something
Aug 6, 2011
1,904
25,886
Somewhere to the left of "Whoopie"
smowles01.wordpress.com
#1
clinical name: thynnus venenum

desctiption: tuna noodle casserole allergy

Symptoms: retching and irrational behaviour at the smell of tuna noodle casserole. The site of the allergen can lead to severe panic attacks and a desire to be near the family dog.

Cure: No none cure but researchers are investigating the use of nose plugs. Some thynnus sufferers have found relief by consuming massive amounts of jalepenos before exposure to the allergen.
 
#2
Clinical name: Subpoliticalus vulpis-conversus

description: the overdriving need to state one's political views on TB without actually coming right out and stating them. This, while still obeying the letter of the COC.

Symptoms: the one suffering from SvC will have a tendency to repeatedly mention Fox news either favorably or with utter disdain thereby prominently displaying one's political views while still safe from COC infraction.

Cure: ignore button is the only available treatment at present



:p
 
#4
Chronic Motivational Disorder.....

I used to bear the stigma of being called "lazy" and "not living up to my potential"

then one day, in my 20's, i was diagnosed with CMD....it's not your fault, my doctor said...and since then, i have tried to get this disease recognized by the American Medical Association....well, I WOULD have tried, but my CMD prevented me....you know how it is...

so, i urge you, my fellow TB members, to give and give generously....otherwise, i will have to go to work, and that would really suck...

Give, so Dave doesn't have to go to work today....sounds like a winner.

(pm me, if you need my address to send donations)

davesignatureII-1.png
 
#5
Overemotionism: All emotions are overly intensified, Sad = Crying for hours sad, Happy is laugh until your sides split, Angry = Violence toward others, Fear = Hide in the closet, Horny = (Well use your imagination), etc......
 
#10
Fenderphilia- A distinct love for all things Leo did before 1966 or so.

Not to be confused with

Fenderitis- A distinct aversion to all things Leo did before 1966 or so.

Both are serious, and require repeated doses of common sense.
But more for Fenderitis.

That's just weird.
 
#11
Name - slobakus addicticus

Description - the inability to ignore clicking on yet another weird slobake thread

Symptoms - warm, fuzzy feeling that despite the fact that the world is going to hell in a hand-cart and asshattery is becoming a social norm, there are still some good guys out there.

Cure - spend a day in the Band Management forum
 
#12
clinical name: magnius osios

description: The overpowering urge to be right and give an opinon on everything in a loud commanding voice. Sufferers will argue incessantly with anyone who disagrees with them and often respond with irrational personal attacks.

symptoms: bleeding from the mouth and nose, blackened eyes.

cure: see symptoms, also duct tape.
 
#15
bmc said:
Clinical name: Rectal Oculosis

Description: The optical nerves become enmeshed with rectal nerves.

Symptoms: Shytty outlook on life.
Click to expand...

This may also be known as "Optical Rectumitis".

I suffer from a chronic, and unnamed disease, for which there is no known treatment, or cure. The good news is that it has no symptoms, and no known deleterious health effects.
 

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