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make up a new disease

Discussion in 'Off Topic [BG]' started by slobake, Nov 13, 2013.

  1. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    clinical name: thynnus venenum

    desctiption: tuna noodle casserole allergy

    Symptoms: retching and irrational behaviour at the smell of tuna noodle casserole. The site of the allergen can lead to severe panic attacks and a desire to be near the family dog.

    Cure: No none cure but researchers are investigating the use of nose plugs. Some thynnus sufferers have found relief by consuming massive amounts of jalepenos before exposure to the allergen.
  2. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    Clinical name: Subpoliticalus vulpis-conversus

    description: the overdriving need to state one's political views on TB without actually coming right out and stating them. This, while still obeying the letter of the COC.

    Symptoms: the one suffering from SvC will have a tendency to repeatedly mention Fox news either favorably or with utter disdain thereby prominently displaying one's political views while still safe from COC infraction.

    Cure: ignore button is the only available treatment at present

  3. tastybasslines

    tastybasslines Banned

    May 9, 2010
    Los Angeles, CA
    Clinical Name: Keepusyermouthshutus
    Description: Chronic housewife nag
    Symptoms: A constant headache and ringing of the brain
    Cure: Divorce
  4. Chronic Motivational Disorder.....

    I used to bear the stigma of being called "lazy" and "not living up to my potential"

    then one day, in my 20's, i was diagnosed with CMD....it's not your fault, my doctor said...and since then, i have tried to get this disease recognized by the American Medical Association....well, I WOULD have tried, but my CMD prevented me....you know how it is...

    so, i urge you, my fellow TB members, to give and give generously....otherwise, i will have to go to work, and that would really suck...

    Give, so Dave doesn't have to go to work today....sounds like a winner.

    (pm me, if you need my address to send donations)

  5. FunkHead

    FunkHead Supporting Member

    Mar 10, 2007
    Phillipsburg, NJ
    Overemotionism: All emotions are overly intensified, Sad = Crying for hours sad, Happy is laugh until your sides split, Angry = Violence toward others, Fear = Hide in the closet, Horny = (Well use your imagination), etc......
  6. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    California Überallitis

    Paranoia that the Golden State is preparing a blitzkrieg attack to overtake the other contiguous 47.
  7. Relic

    Relic Cow are you?

    Sep 12, 2006
    Robbinsville, NJ
    pffff bring it!

  8. MatticusMania

    MatticusMania LANA! HE REMEMBERS ME!

    Sep 10, 2008
    Pomona, SoCal
    Yuu guys would go down so fast with your Jersey Turnpikin' and all your Fist Pumpin'...
  9. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA
    48 contiguous states each ruled by Moonbeam clones. You will bow before us as we install taco shops on street corner after street corner.
  10. wraub


    Apr 9, 2004
    ennui, az
    deviated prevert
    Fenderphilia- A distinct love for all things Leo did before 1966 or so.

    Not to be confused with

    Fenderitis- A distinct aversion to all things Leo did before 1966 or so.

    Both are serious, and require repeated doses of common sense.
    But more for Fenderitis.

    That's just weird.
  11. Tituscrow

    Tituscrow Banned

    Feb 14, 2011
    NW England
    Name - slobakus addicticus

    Description - the inability to ignore clicking on yet another weird slobake thread

    Symptoms - warm, fuzzy feeling that despite the fact that the world is going to hell in a hand-cart and asshattery is becoming a social norm, there are still some good guys out there.

    Cure - spend a day in the Band Management forum
  12. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    clinical name: magnius osios

    description: The overpowering urge to be right and give an opinon on everything in a loud commanding voice. Sufferers will argue incessantly with anyone who disagrees with them and often respond with irrational personal attacks.

    symptoms: bleeding from the mouth and nose, blackened eyes.

    cure: see symptoms, also duct tape.
  13. Unrepresented

    Unrepresented Something Borderline Offensive

    Jul 1, 2006
    San Diego, CA

    Unexplained desire to perform hackneyed rap material with a pronouncedly "old school" vibe. Adoption of a name that includes reference to low temperatures in critical cases.

    Note: any irony is thoroughly unintentional.
  14. bmc


    Nov 15, 2003
    Clinical name: Rectal Oculosis

    Description: The optical nerves become enmeshed with rectal nerves.

    Symptoms: Shytty outlook on life.
  15. P Town

    P Town

    Dec 7, 2011
    This may also be known as "Optical Rectumitis".

    I suffer from a chronic, and unnamed disease, for which there is no known treatment, or cure. The good news is that it has no symptoms, and no known deleterious health effects.
  16. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Nothingus wrongius?
  17. bassinplace


    Dec 1, 2008

    The habitual use of TBOT being used as a ploy to look busy whilst one is bored at work. :bag:
  18. P Town

    P Town

    Dec 7, 2011
    I said it was UNNAMED!

    I'm a sick man.

    Have you no compassion?
  19. P Town

    P Town

    Dec 7, 2011
    What is the term for the psychological ailment that causes sufferers to be compelled to wear a horse head mask, while playing bass?
  20. slobake

    slobake resident ... something Supporting Member

    Cornius actus