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Making Female Singer Feel Safer

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KevInDaBassment

The cat's "meh..."
Jul 30, 2010
8,451
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Gulf Coast
**EDIT**
This thread has actually done like a good compressor and squashed the transient before things started clipping...please continue the trend of progressing towards civil discussion and read all replies before posting on something you feel is inflammatory, the user may have apologized or addressed it already.



OK to give a little background, I just auditioned (and nailed it, beating out 4 other applicants) for a local grunge/alternative band. The drummer is sort of the band leader, he was in another group for 7 years and even got to open for Puddle of Mudd before. He's a level-headed guy and isn't ignorant to how things work, is the point I'm trying to get across.

So we're taking a beverage break after playing a few tunes and the BL was telling me he feels really strongly about getting a female vocalist. No complaints from me, I've actually wanted to try that in previous bands myself. He and the guitarist are very down-to-Earth kind of guys though, and while I wouldn't say naive, I would say they are good-natured people. As we're talking about the audition process, I brought up the point of whether or not a female vocalist would feel meeting with a bunch of strange guys from Craigslist all alone is a safe idea.

BL definitely took that concern as valid, but was coming up dry on ways to try and mitigate this possible issue. He suggested having his female neighbor come over and chill in the house too, but I am unsure how well that would work as getting a private rehearsal space (we're in his older brother's house at the moment) means that coming every week might not pan out for the neighbor. He'd also like a keyboard player that's female, but that could severely limit our options if that becomes a necessity.

Anybody gone through this same scenario and found something that worked? Obviously things can happen at any time and place, but I'd like to make sure we limit how uncomfortable things feel as much as possible.
 
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I've been in a lot of female-fronted bands. When auditioning, it's always been done at a known respected facility with staff (shows the band is serious) so a reasonable person would feel perfectly safe being there.

Even if you have a rehearsal space, rent a public one for auditions. No sense having every flake "singer"/guitarist/whatever in the city, or their klepto-addict friends, knowing where you keep all your gear.

Which brings me to ...

Singer brings a friend/husband. Simple. Even if it is a public facility.

Consider insisting on it for the protection and comfort of both sides, if you think about it.
 
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My band has featured female lead singers for many years.

Our rehearsals are normally closed, but we make an exception for auditions. I extend the offer to candidates that if they are more comfortable bringing along a travel companion (husband, boyfriend, friend, etc.), to please feel free.

I also make it clear we rehearse in a safe, clean space in a low crime area.
 
Singer brings a friend/husband. Simple. Even if it is a public facility.

Consider insisting on it for the protection and comfort of both sides, if you think about it.

...I extend the offer to candidates that if they are more comfortable bringing along a travel companion (husband, boyfriend, friend, etc.), to please feel free...

Very good suggestions! I do think that phrasing it as "...for the protection and comfort of both sides..." is an excellent way to put it, as this shows we're equally concerned about something being misconstrued and aren't just trying to get the applicant to put their guard down. Definitely going to run this by the BL. It may take some convincing to get him to pull the trigger on doing rehearsal space rental, but I do think a place in town does hourly as well so that could make for a good temporary solution.
 
I've been in a lot of feamale-fronted bands. When auditioning, it's always been done at a known respected facility with staff (shows the band is serious) so a reasonable person would feel perfectly safe being there.

Even if you have a rehearsal space, rent a public one for auditions. No sense having every flake "singer"/guitarist/whatever in the city, or their klepto-addict friends, knowing where you keep all your gear.

Which brings me to ...

Singer brings a friend/husband. Simple. Even if it is a public facility.

Consider insisting on it for the protection and comfort of both sides, if you think about it.

+1 to renting a room at an attended practice facility for auditions.
 
I'm conflicted about using the phrase 'protection and comfort'. 'Protection' immediately creates a defensive position. Just using the word 'comfort' seems enough, or maybe something like 'peace of mind for all'? Shows empathy for the situation.

Yeah, that may be a better way to phrase it. Diction is most assuredly a big deal when it's communication via email or text, so we wouldn't want to give the wrong impression.
 
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What everyone else said, especially @Bassbeater . Your responsibility is to be respectful and and professional. Going out of your way to ensure that someone feels safe could very well backfire and make them feel unsafe. I say book the auditions at a reputable studio, schedule more than one at a time, and let them know they have a half hour slot because you're auditioning several possibilities.
 
Current band has a female singer. We met her in a public place for a chat and coffee and she brought here boyfriend. She agreed to move forward and brought her boyfriend to the first rehearsal. She didn't bring him to the 2nd rehearsal, so we asked about him and she said we were harmless, in his opinion, so he didn't think he needed to come. I guess we passed the creepy test and she has been singing with us for about a year.
 
What everyone else said, especially @Bassbeater . Your responsibility is to be respectful and and professional. Going out of your way to ensure that someone feels safe could very well backfire and make them feel unsafe. I say book the auditions at a reputable studio, schedule more than one at a time, and let them know they have a half hour slot because you're auditioning several possibilities.

Would you say even mentioning the "Bring a friend along" or trying to facilitate what would be "Comfortable" is a mistake as well? Should the public rehearsal spot and such be enough to put concerns at ease?
 
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Would you say even mentioning the "Bring a friend along" or trying to facilitate what would be "Comfortable" is a mistake as well? Should the public rehearsal spot and such be enough to put concerns at ease?
I wouldn't say anything about bringing a friend along. That could sound creepy. If they're nervous at all they can (and should) ask, "Is it OK for me to bring a friend along?"
 
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