If everybody is professional there should be no problem.
Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Making Female Singer Feel Safer
- Thread starter KevInDaBassment
- Start date
- Status
We're getting into a topic that is problematic, please don't pull this into that realm and get the thread closed.
Ok, going to kindly ask we do not get into this...mods will close the thread
Yeah, agreed. I've stated my thoughts, I won't engage with Bassbeater any further.
You're trying to figure out how to make a woman unknown to you feel comfortable, which is commendable, and you've received a number of helpful suggestions. Our first female singer was waitressing at a venue where we played and she approached us after the gig and asked if we were interested in a woman singer. She must have seen that we were a bunch of harmless 50-something dudes. She was young enough to be any of ours daughter.
I'll just point out that, of women who are victims of sexual assault, 75 percent of them know the perpetrator. It's usually a boyfriend, spouse, family member, or acquaintance.
The Golden Rule still holds true: treat others (male and female) with the respect and dignity with which you would like to be treated.
I'll just point out that, of women who are victims of sexual assault, 75 percent of them know the perpetrator. It's usually a boyfriend, spouse, family member, or acquaintance.
The Golden Rule still holds true: treat others (male and female) with the respect and dignity with which you would like to be treated.
As is always said on Talkbass....don't forget in an audition you (as the bassists) are also auditioning the band, but please don't discount that your band is auditioning her. I've seen, in my experience, and there are exceptions, that many bands with female vocalists have them, either by suggestion, or volunteerism, market the band. Or they are the person that the bar/venue manager will come up to first. In my town there are also female band agents. Females get in the door and are listened to. I wouldn't want my female to be timid, just saying. We all know that a band is much more than talent (starts there though), it takes marketing, with friendly or all business out front people. Also on stage, you want the vocalist to interact with the crowd, more than likely a Rock and Roll crowd, of which there is typically more than one a-hole. You are noble in your cause but you also want the female vocalist to be a little brave. Oh the world has gotten so darn difficult.
I've read threads here where it is suggested to never meet a prospective buyer/seller of gear anywhere but in a public space. The 'you never know, better safe than sorry' rule.
I have no issue with plucky trying to make what could be an awkward situation better. From the applicant's point of view, 'you never know'. If one can address that, Then it should be done. Simply out of courtesy.
I have no issue with plucky trying to make what could be an awkward situation better. From the applicant's point of view, 'you never know'. If one can address that, Then it should be done. Simply out of courtesy.
Pretty thin skin for someone in the music business.There is definitely a threshold for going overboard, but I'm talking about being professionally conscientious and seeking advice on how best to do that. I wouldn't even call it a "problem" but more of a "possible concern" the applicant would have and trying to be understanding on that. I find it odd that I'm getting criticism for attempting to be considerate
...If they're not comfortable with that, you might have worse problems on your hands in the long run.
I will readily admit this is a very valid point, as there will be many situations where they may be in something that's deemed uncomfortable or downright dangerous. The idea is that once she is in, as a band we all watch each other's back (be it aggressive patrons, possible theft, harassment, etc.) but in this situation the applicant doesn't have anyone familiar watching theirs.
Like I said though, fair point on considering how this could play out in the future and something that I will definitely bring up with the rest of the band during this audition process.
I'm not wrong, I'm expressing my OPINION. You don't get to speak for ALL women any more than I get to speak for all men.
I prefer to do that for any gender. What if I'm going in thinking it is an audition and they are just ripping off musicians for their gear? That's why when I go to an audition where I know nobody, I take my cheapest stuff and go in packing.
I applaud your consideration for others, but I do think that you're jumping the gun a little. If she's uncomfortable, she'll either do something to make herself more comfortable (bring a friend, etc), avoid the audition, or the discomfort is low enough that she thinks it is worth the risk. It wouldn't be ethical to use it as a test of sorts, but I'm not sure I'd want somebody who can't speak up as my vocalist.
I guess my point is that if requested you should accommodate, but its probably not necessary to preemptively go out of your way.
I guess my point is that if requested you should accommodate, but its probably not necessary to preemptively go out of your way.
Exactly! When auditioning, for all you know they use a picture of a person with a non threatening appearance to get access to the lockout. Be wise!
I agree. I don't think you should need to do anything special when auditioning a female compared to a male. Hold the audition where you normally rehearse(unless you aren't comfortable running a few strangers through that location), a successful candidate will end up there anyway right? Any experienced musician will know the deal and what they are getting into. My experience so far with female musicians is that they don't need any special coddling and are generally pretty tough and smart.
A remedy somewhere in the middle could be -
Set up the audition at a maintained, monitored pro rehearsal space (as opposed to a remote room somewhere) give the applicant the time and place, and let them decide on how or whether to attend.
You've done your bit, they do theirs.
Set up the audition at a maintained, monitored pro rehearsal space (as opposed to a remote room somewhere) give the applicant the time and place, and let them decide on how or whether to attend.
You've done your bit, they do theirs.
The bigger question is how to keep band safe from female allegations?
What? As soon as REAL talk starts around this issue, the mods will shut it down? No-one so far is shouting, being disrespectful or cursing.
It's 2018. We are either all equal or we are not. If we are equal, people should be treated the same regardless of their genitalia or their gender-identification.
If we are not equal, then we must subscribe to the concept of gentleman chivalry and the gracious lady paradigm with the underlying assumption being that all men have a responsibility to protect the innocent, weak, inherently good female (or female-identifying person) from the no-good, brutish, inherently bad male (or male-identifying people).
But hey, I've heard that 1918 was a great year. I just don't want to go back there.
Last edited:
Good post. It’s showing good sense to be concerned. I would recommend a couple of things, one be up front with your candidates that you understand that they may be uncomfortable meeting a bunch of male strangers. Let her know that you will do everything possible to make her at ease. Meeting at a public place, mall/restaurant is a good idea. Secondly, let her know that she is more than welcome to bring someone along for the ride.
Finally, I would highly recommend you video the whole audition, from the time she comes in to the time she leaves. This will give you a valuable evaluation tool, but will also protect you from unfounded allegations, in case something like that ever happens...sheesh...
- Status
