Making Peace with My Mediocrity

[the general]

The important thing Doc is that you're still playing and you enjoy it. That's all that really matters.

 

[TreySonagras]

One thing about any artistic endeavor: music, painting, writing.... We continue to improve our entire lives as long as we don’t stop. You can’t say that for many other activities.

 

[RickyRocknRoll]

I started this music playing thing for fun some 35 years ago. I had zero expectations. Today, i'm pushing 51 and I still do it for fun. I got really lucky and played in great bands, did some awesome gigs, met some great people, did stuff I never thought I would do. I'm no Wooten or Miller, but I always show up prepared, on time, booze/drug free and I do my thing the best way I can. I know I did not get those gigs because i'm an "athlete" on the neck but because I was reliable and easy to work with. And probably because I am a natural entertainer that likes to goof and make people laugh.

Just have fun, just play. It's not a competition. I think we do not emphasize enough the word "FUN". Not only in music but in all aspects of life.

Plus, Dr Cheese, you do have sweet taste in basses

Cheers!!!!

 

[JForest]

I'm pushing myself to be better because I love music but I know I always be a good/average player.
I'm okay with that since my goal is to "feel" the music and the groove. When you groove with a good band and you have chills : that's my goal ! And a single note can provide this...

 

[bolophonic]

Virtuosity is overrated. Enjoying what you do is where it’s at.

 

[Ostie]

I just try to learn something new every time I pick up one of my instruments (guitar, bass, mandolin, percussion) I love being a musician but I realized a long time ago that I did not have what it takes to be a professional. But I had a career as a historian at a museum and it was a dream job for me. So no regrets. And by the way, I’ve heard your playing, and you’re far from mediocre. I’ll show you mediocre.

 

[BadSanta1281]

I hope I can reach your level of mediocrity someday.

Beat me to it.

Don't look back at what might have been. You might miss something good that's happening now.

 

[RichardW]

I picked up the bass when I was 45 and am 61 now. Do I wish I'd started when I was 13? Sure, but that assumes I would be better than I am now, but who really knows. I am what I am as a bass player. I love it, I'm in a gigging band with guys I like, and most other people I know don't play the bass. I try to get better all the time, and don't beat myself up if I don't.

In my book, that puts me ahead.

 

[210superair]

I have been playing bass longer than many who post here have been alive. For years, I was mainly self taught, and was mostly a bedroom bassist. I have played in bands, and I have gigged a little. Mostly, I have played with choirs since the 1990’s. About five years ago, I started taking lessons, and I have really been consistent for the last three years. I can see the improvement, but it has become obvious to me that I have some ingrained habits that are very hard to stop at sixty. To be blunt, I do not think I will ever come close to what I might have been if I had started serious study at least thirty years ago. Ideally, I should have stuck to string bass in college. That would have given me a very strong foundation. I do not plan to quit lessons or serious practice. I just know that it is more for personal enrichment at this point in life.

I've seen a few videos you posted man, you play fine. Being a bass player, you can have just as much fun and success by keeping it simple anyway.

And I feel similar about a few things. My chess game is pretty good, but I didn't start playing till my early 20's. I'll never have the vision of someone who's been playing since they were 5. I play with my son, and he's 5. By the time he's 20, it'll be absolutely automatic for him. Same with instruments...

 

[Govner22]

I started at 48, was self taught until five years ago, and now at 61 have now done maybe 60 public gigs total, most with a very accomplished band. Wishing I had started sooner, I’ve always practiced often and vigorously to “make up for lost time” and hopefully sound as if I started at a younger age. Just feeling that I’m improving helps me the most, with this or with anything really. That feeling comes and goes but is not dependent on when I first picked up the bass.

 

[31HZ]

I love this thread.

I'm right there with you. Just turned 50, been playing for almost 30 years with a 6-year break when my son was born (I returned with a vengeance about 5 years ago). Now, I'm playing more than ever (from 1 to 2.5 hours a day) but the more that I learn, the better that I see that I have so far to go -- and the increased playing time is a response to this. (Jeez. Why didn't I do this sooner? But I digress.)

Perhaps you're describing a variety of this, the perspective of accumulated wisdom and experience, combined with a coming-to-terms with the tapering of age-related decline.

It's coming for all of us, and I hope that we all can all find the grace to enjoy the process before it really is too late.

 

[buldog5151bass]

According to your definition, approximately 99.56% of us are mediocre.

 

[40Hz]

For me, it is sad that to realize that as much as I love the bass, I will never be as good at it as I would like to be. I still love it after realizing my limitations, but it is still bittersweet.

Like you, I love the bass. But I love music even more. So as long as I can do something with music it’s all good for me. If I could no longer play bass I’d find something else to play. If I couldn’t play an instrument I’d sing - or compose with a computer program. If I couldn’t do that I’d hum to myself. And if I couldn't even do that I’d listen to my inner music. Because music, in many ways, defines who I am. It’s not something that can be taken away or diminished just because my talent or technical shortcomings aren’t up to performing the melodies I can hear in my head. Like the Kiki Dee song said:

Ain't got no trouble in my life,
No foolish dream to make me cry.
I'm never frightened or worried,
I know I'll always get by.
I heat up (I heat up)
I cool down (I cool down)
When something gets in my way I go round it.
Don't let life get me down
Gonna take life the way that I found it.
​

I got this rammed home to me back in August 2014. I had a stroke. Completely flatlined my entire left side - as in it was no longer there - for an hour or so until some blood clot dissolving drug they administered in the hospital ER worked far better than they hoped and I got most of it back. I say “most“ of it because when I did get it back it was different. While all the fingers work there’s now a micro time lag between me going to move something and it actually happening. And sometimes the finger(s) I go to move won’t respond immediately. It’s like they go into sleep mode for a second or two. Kinda like calling a dog and having to do it twice.

For awhile I had hopes it’d all fix itself in time. I started practicing again as soon as I got back home. And I’ll admit it was extremely frustrating at first. But I kept plugging away at it and I did gradually improve - up to a point. But I’m nowhere near the bass player I was before the incident. And it’s now six years later that I’m reluctantly starting to concede I probably never will be. My days of insanely technical high speed and immaculately executed prog rock basslines are behind me. The knowledge is still there. But the physical ability to pull it off on demand just isn’t.

But y'know what? I’m good with that. I can play. And that’s the important thing even if I can’t play as well as I once could from a technical perspective. And yeah, maybe my fingerings can get a little bizarre at times since I need to make split second finger changes when the digit I go to move isn’t responding immediately. But I can still play music. And that’s enough.

 

[mambo4]

I firmly believe worrying about how "good" you are ,
fretting over your place on some universal scale of ALL players
is 100% irrelevant to the process of learning, improving and enjoying music.

If I am not "good" then I should focus on practice, learning new things, and enjoying making music
If I am "good", I should focus on exactly the same things.

Can I meet the needs of the gig?
Am I incrementally better than yesterday?
That's what I ask myself , rather than Am I "good" ?

I'd post a link to Anthony Wellington's amazing "Four Rooms" lecture
but it has been blocked as copyrighted material (being from Victor Wooten's groove Workshop DVD)

 

[minimalist freedom]

I'm pushing myself to be better because I love music but I know I always be a good/average player.
I'm okay with that since my goal is to "feel" the music and the groove. When you groove with a good band and you have chills : that's my goal ! And a single note can provide this...

Yes oh yes, I feel you brother.

 

[brianrost]

I'm another senior citizen looking in the mirror considering my musical shortcomings.

What keeps me going once I get done with crying in my beer are three things:

1. I still have fun playing.

2. People who play a lot better than me still ask me to play with them.

3. Without actually working on my "career", I've played and recorded with some of my musical heroes, performed in a movie and at prestigious festivals.

 

[ELG60]

I have been playing bass longer than many who post here have been alive. For years, I was mainly self taught, and was mostly a bedroom bassist. I have played in bands, and I have gigged a little. Mostly, I have played with choirs since the 1990’s. About five years ago, I started taking lessons, and I have really been consistent for the last three years. I can see the improvement, but it has become obvious to me that I have some ingrained habits that are very hard to stop at sixty. To be blunt, I do not think I will ever come close to what I might have been if I had started serious study at least thirty years ago. Ideally, I should have stuck to string bass in college. That would have given me a very strong foundation. I do not plan to quit lessons or serious practice. I just know that it is more for personal enrichment at this point in life.

Doc, I'll be sixty this year, Lord willing, and picked up our chosen instrument again almost 5 years ago after a lapse of nearly 20 years. I could look at all the time "wasted" and ruminate upon missed opportunities and current limitations, but like you, I choose to focus on the sense of fulfillment, satisfaction, and the comradeship which one gets from playing music with others during my limited opportunities (before the shutdown) and look forward to resuming those activities.

I am what I am, an in-the-pocket, meat and potatoes bass player, but I'm rock solid, am developing a better ear, and more skill, and a professional told his bandmate that I "can hold it down," so I got that going for me . . . Which is nice.

Stay safe and keep it rocking in my dad's hometown, Doc. Blessings on you and yours.

 

[Andy Daventry]

I've been playing guitar since '74 and bass since about '76. For the past 40 (forty!) years I have been trying to nail Bill Broonzy's version of St Louis blues on acoustic guitar. Last month I nailed it. If it hadn't been for the lockdown I never would have. Why did it take me so long? Well, I worked sporadically. I kept changing guitars looking for the right one. I kept changing strings, playing with the action and relief, to make it right. I played a lot of bass instead of guitar (which is, of course, a good thing). I got distracted by life.

My bass playing falls into three periods. The first was the 70s, and I wanted to be Jack Bruce and Lemmy. Then I gave up until the 90s, when I'd moved to another country and started playing in bar bands. I gave up when I returned to UK in 2008. The third bite at the cherry was when I suddenly got the bug again a couple of years ago. My bass playing now is jamming along to stuff, recording stuff and learning how the fingerboard works (not fretboard - no frets). I have never enjoyed it more. I am comfortable with my mediocrity.

But looking back at my mistakes, the really important ones are:

1. Not doing the work and practising.
2. Being overly focused on gear in looking for the right sound, instead of looking for a good sound with what I'd got.
3. And from that, buying too many basses, guitars and amps of various types instead of really learning to play the ones I had.

And the most important one was:

4. Not having a clear goal I wanted to achieve. I just wanted to get better in some kind of generic, undefined way.

So be it. I have two basses. One is a 5 string with a 36" scale which I designed myself, and which I don't play because it's a flippin' monster I can only play sitting down now. I have a bitsa P bass which is a Squier body and a MIM fretless jazz neck and it is fine. It's what I play now. I play everything on it, and I can play everything I want to on it. My bedroom amp is a Rumble 15 version 1 with a torn and repaired speaker (tissue paper and superglue), and I can get a good sound out of it. To give you some idea of its age, you connect your mp3 player with RCA plugs. I finally feel I'm getting somewhere, which is playing the music rather than just the bass.

Rambling, but there you have it.

 

[brianrost]

a professional told his bandmate that I "can hold it down," so I got that going for me

Just as long as he meant your groove and not the three bowls of fire alarm chili you ate after downing 12 tequilas

 

[ELG60]

Just as long as he meant your groove and not the three bowls of fire alarm chili you ate after downing 12 tequilas

Heh! The world may never know . . .