Making Peace with My Mediocrity

[SunByrne]

I'm 50 and I've been playing less than a year. I've seen one or two of your vids and if I can get to where you are, I'll be thrilled—don't be so hard on yourself!

But I do also understand the self-doubt. Why'd I wait until I was 49 to start? Think of how much better I'd be now if I had just started even five years ago.

Or, the one that really kills me: I thought about starting when I was 19. My uncle was a gigging pro for a while in the early 70s, and we were in a guitar store looking at a used bass, and he played it and deemed it worthy, and... I passed on it. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself. 30 years missed...

But really, it doesn't matter. I'm having fun now, and that's what matters.

 

[aekisz]

I'm self taught, can't read music, and will never be a virtuoso or even one of those Lee Sklar types who comes up with perfectly simple bass lines with tasteful embellishments. I am adequate and that's enough for me and usually good enough for the music my band plays. I can say pretty much the same thing about my singing. Adequate. Nothing flashy. Adequacy is all that good music needs. Though, I have to say, playing adequate bass parts while also singing lead does not always lead to adequate outcomes!

 

[grinx]

Started at 17, currently 53

I'm the worst bassist I (you) have ever known but no one does what I do better.
I suck less than at any point in my playing life but you'll never find me posting a video of me playing, willingly.

I keep finding other idiots to let me play in their bands or jam with them.
When I join a band, everyone else gets to breathe.
You don't want me to join your Rush or Dream Theater tribute. And No I cannot play Yes =p

but.....


I LOVE the bass.
From the minute I first heard it in a mix, to learning my first song, to writing my first song on it, to playing it for all my adult life, I just love what I do and what it does and what it means to be one genre of a bass player
NO desire to even learn anything else (although I used to play a mean French Horn decades ago).

andiluvuguys

 

[Jefenator]

I'm not going to go down in history as one of the all-time great groovers and I'm definitely not going to be known even statewide for my shredding.
But I do have a lot of happy clients and happy local fans for the bands I help to sound better. I've seen firsthand how positive music can be; it's the most powerful antidepressant I've ever seen. As such, I think of it as a noble calling.
The fact that I have so much room left for improvement helps keep me from getting bored.

 

[JW56789]

I turned 65 this year, and have been playing (indeed) longer than some of our youngsters have been alive, since the mid 70's.

Oh hell yes, part of me says I should have been able to eat ------------ (insert your favorite scary-good bassist right here)------------ for lunch by now. And yes, it really didn't work out that way.

I went through my younger years working, worrying, studying, sleeping with the damn thing, I was consumed by it. Really wasn't much good in talking to me about anything else, I was so blinders-on about it, a lot of life passed me by, that I'll never get back. I got pretty good on it. But for years I had the 'gunfighter' mentality, always on the lookout for somebody that's faster . . . . . and worrying about it. And I made great money back where I lived prior to moving to Nashville.

Moved to Nashville, thinking I could be one of the 'boys in the band' for an artist. I was 35 when I came here, had been around plenty already. Put myself out there, tried hard for several years . . . . . and got nowhere. Frankly, there were better guys in some cases, and I was terrible at networking and 'the hang'. Probably because I spent all those years so self-absorbed I never developed those skills. And here, 'good' really doesn't mean much, because everybody is. A lot of it is who you know, and I just didn't ever know the 'right' people. I had a family to support, and I just could not walk away from day jobs and leave them wanting so I could play for 'exposure' or $20 a night, I couldn't do that to them, and that's where I found myself.

So I did some Opry subs for a few friends, toured with some has-beens for a few years, and it just didn't work out as I hoped. And that's OK. There's lots of great players here who never quite hit it, and those big opportunities are few and far between, and interestingly come with their own problems.

I'm a sideman. I don't write, I don't have that spotlight personality, I'd just hoped to work and stay with a good band for an artist. I knew I wasn't going to knock any of the big guns out of work, I just hoped to find my own little spot, but I didn't have the right preparation or the skills to do it in this environment. Hard to admit but true.

And I can live with that, at least I tried. It's worked out well, I love Nashville, made a good home for myself, and for any kind of picker it's a great town what with the infrastructure here, the stores, the techs, it's a center for the business, so it's great even if you're not a working pro.

It was disappointing on some levels, and I frankly couldn't touch it for a year or two. Then I remembered I do play like a really good me, it does a lot for me, and now I enjoy it again around the house. After 20-odd years in the trenches, I'll never play out again. I no longer have the patience, I would become quite rude far too quickly, and I'm far happier not sweating it out in clubs any more.

As I look back, sure, there's lots of things I could have done better. Hindsight is like that. But I know how I got here, and most of the decisions were right for me, and as a married man, right for the people who depended on me. With a different life, things may have gone differently, but I only have the one I had, and really have no regrets. Far worse could have happened, and after meeting and knowing a lot of 'successful' players here, and what happened to them, I may have got the better end of the deal NOT making it.

I was utterly stunned one day when a very well-known friend of mine, whose gigs would instantly tell you who I'm talking about, observed one day looking back, that he wished he'd have been a plumber instead. Geez . . .
And probably my best musician buddy, obviously self-employed, who did a lot of 'B-Team' sessions, went in the hospital with heart trouble, had NO health care, checked himself out early to avoid a mountain of a bill, went home and dropped dead the next day, my next door neighbor.

Somehow . . . . . when I saw The Beatles on The Ed Sullivan show and was moved to my core like so many, ALL THIS was not what I envisioned for myself. But I can still play and enjoy it where I am now, so maybe that's the only thing that's really important. And I'm still pretty good at it . . . . . .

 

[pie_man_25]

Nobody here is as good as they'd like to be, that's no excuse not to keep playing or practicing. With consistent effort, a better you is on the other side of tomorrow.

 

[klejst]

Just enjoy yourself, that is really what it's all about is enjoying what you're doing and having fun with it.

 

[Jeff Hughes]

There used to be a show called Treme on HBO. It was a drama about musicians in New Orleans. One of the characters was a trombonist who played bar gigs and what not. There was an episode where he got offered an intense jazz gig that was slightly above his skill level. They showed him practicing and practicing but still not getting it. And then he just kind of accepts who he is as a player and is at peace with it.

At the time I saw this, I was really comparing my own skills to other bass players thinking I wasn't good enough or didn't have enough technique. And then I just found peace in that fact that I get to play gigs that are fun, I only gig enough for it to not feel like work, and my playing represents my personality and what I value in music.

And then I realized that the people I was comparing myself devoted their youth, 20s, college experience, etc. to learning the instrument. I spent my 20s practicing for another career. Of course they would be more skilled, right?

One of the fun things about music as an art form is that your instrument on a stand is static. A painter must look at an unfinished painting, and a builder must look at an unfinished building. An instrument is always waiting for you but it doesn't pressure you to "finish it."

Check out the movie "Amadeus" which is about Salieri and his anger that he will never be a Mozart. Not sure if it will provide more perspective or just more frustration.

 

[rollie 55]

Just enjoy yourself, that is really what it's all about is enjoying what you're doing and having fun with it.

Yes yes yes and yes

 

[WeAreAllOne]

Doc, I really appreciate your humility and the way you express yourself in your posts, your passion for the instrument is apparent. You are a good man!

 

[JeezyMcNuggles]

I have been playing bass longer than many who post here have been alive. For years, I was mainly self taught, and was mostly a bedroom bassist. I have played in bands, and I have gigged a little. Mostly, I have played with choirs since the 1990’s. About five years ago, I started taking lessons, and I have really been consistent for the last three years. I can see the improvement, but it has become obvious to me that I have some ingrained habits that are very hard to stop at sixty. To be blunt, I do not think I will ever come close to what I might have been if I had started serious study at least thirty years ago. Ideally, I should have stuck to string bass in college. That would have given me a very strong foundation. I do not plan to quit lessons or serious practice. I just know that it is more for personal enrichment at this point in life.

Self taught here too. 20 years. Any bad habits I got, ain't going anywhere. I just refer to them as "my style"

 

[kevindahl]

A very, very healthy outlook on life. I am a couple of years younger and the more I watch youtube the more I feel inadequate It's okay the band I play in don't think I suck, so that's always a positive

 

[rollie 55]

Doc, I really appreciate your humility and the way you express yourself in your posts, your passion for the instrument is apparent. You are a good man!

I second this as well

 

[fishdreams]

Hey @Dr. Cheese
I'm 55 years old, and here is the truth as I learned to understand it: the better I get, the more i realize how much more there is to learn, including levels of excellence I'll never attain.

last night I found some old cassete tapes of myself in bands , from 25-30 years ago, and I listened a bit out of curiosity. At the time I thought I was 'pretty good', 'professional level' bass player. What I heard last night was someone (me) who played the all the right notes, and wasn't really making music with those notes.

So in retrospect I knew very little, and therefore I thought I knew a lot. I am not busy anymore with what 'level' I am. The whole idea of measuring and mirroring myself against some (actually, quite imaginary) level of excellence was just me being quite insecure, and out of that insecurity I was sabotaging myself. Now I know, as the years have gone by, I am not Jaco (or whomever...fill in the blanks). That why there is Jaco. I am me.

What I learned to do since, is apply myself to be a better musician, who happens to hold a bass. This started with really listening to myself for the first time in my life. It brought some much needed humility and a growing awareness there is way more to do and learn than I'll ever manage, and that humility openend the door to me becoming someone who is much happier with his own playing, which state of affairs I trust to transpire into being a much better (much more musical) bass player too.

Keep playing and keep making music! It is about what you can do today on this lifelong path to become a better musician. Seems to me you are doing just fine!

 

[Lagado]

Bass, is a state of mind.

 

[rollie 55]

Hey @Dr. Cheese
I'm 55 years old, and here is the truth as I learned to understand it: the better I get, the more i realize how much more there is to learn, including levels of excellence I'll never attain.

last night I found some old cassete tapes of myself in bands , from 25-30 years ago, and I listened a bit out of curiosity. At the time I thought I was 'pretty good', 'professional level' bass player. What I heard last night was someone (me) who played the all the right notes, and wasn't really making music with those notes.

So in retrospect I knew very little, and therefore I thought I knew a lot. I am not busy anymore with what 'level' I am. The whole idea of measuring and mirroring myself against some (actually, quite imaginary) level of excellence was just me being quite insecure, and out of that insecurity I was sabotaging myself. Now I know, as the years have gone by, I am not Jaco (or whomever...fill in the blanks). That why there is Jaco. I am me.

What I learned to do since, is apply myself to be a better musician, who happens to hold a bass. This started with really listening to myself for the first time in my life. It brought some much needed humility and a growing awareness there is way more to do and learn than I'll ever manage, and that humility openend the door to me becoming someone who is much happier with his own playing, which state of affairs I trust to transpire into being a much better (much more musical) bass player too.

Keep playing and keep making music! It is about what you can do today on this lifelong path to become a better musician. Seems to me you are doing just fine!

I second this as well excellent post

 

[600 Ohms]

@Dr. Cheese you must be reading my mail.

 

[Knavery]

I have been playing bass longer than many who post here have been alive. For years, I was mainly self taught, and was mostly a bedroom bassist. I have played in bands, and I have gigged a little. Mostly, I have played with choirs since the 1990’s. About five years ago, I started taking lessons, and I have really been consistent for the last three years. I can see the improvement, but it has become obvious to me that I have some ingrained habits that are very hard to stop at sixty. To be blunt, I do not think I will ever come close to what I might have been if I had started serious study at least thirty years ago. Ideally, I should have stuck to string bass in college. That would have given me a very strong foundation. I do not plan to quit lessons or serious practice. I just know that it is more for personal enrichment at this point in life.

Did not read any responses, but I will say this... If you feel enrichment in other areas of your life, but are happy playing your instrument, that's all that matters. I'm pretty mediocre as well, but I'm fine with it. I have a nice house and have a great career. I like to game, and do stuff around the house. I enjoy spending time with my wife and pups, and do a lot of things outside of music. I used to be in bands, but don't anymore. It's become more of a "spiritual" hobby. When I say spiritual, I mean that music is what I really lean on during tough times.

I'd like to become a lot better and have many books on the subject matter. I'm just too lazy to read them or would rather do something else. But that's OK, because I'm still happy. So there's that.

 

[Topkat13]

The higher my expectations the lower my serenity.

 

[PWRL]

I suppose that if I had really applied myself the minute I first picked up a bass, life would be different and I'd be some kind of killer player. But what would have happened, then? And I don't necessarily think I'm bad, now. I had a lot of other things going on. I was going through school, trying to get into colleges, getting a degree, having jobs, developing a particular skill and building a career, paying for a house and a car and life. Bass had to come second. I started actually applying myself much later than other people did, in my late 20's, even though I'd first started playing many years before that. I picked it up and put it down several times. But, none of that stopped me from gaining a tremendous amount of experience and learning a great deal. It didn't stop me from playing in a band and getting paid, and it didn't stop me from playing some great places that even accomplished people have never played in, simply because I was a dependable, consistent player. Not to slag on anybody who put the time into learning this song because if you can, you have my utter respect and awe, but I didn't have to be able to play Teen Town to have a fulfilling time as a bass player.
I'm way too old to be a rock star, and that's fine. I was only in it for the experience, anyway, and that's what I got. Really, I got to learn a lot, I got to be myself and play like myself, and I got plenty of compliments. I've been in half a dozen bands and never got fired. In fact, all of them found me. My biggest reward was the people I met, the memories I helped create, and the extent of my own personal progress. I also had a great excuse to try out all kind of instruments and gear, and how can you beat that?