Music or Personal-space ??

[glocke1]

This thread sort of reminds me of efforts underway at my workplace that are basically "forced socialization". They call it the "XYZ Fun Club" (XYZ being the name of our organization).

Once a month there is some kind of event with mandatory participation. This past week is a Mardi Gras celebration, next month it will be March madness with a hoop shooting contest.

This is a Pharma company...Not a lot of downtime for most of us, and the vast majority of us just want to come in and work, and go home and not get caught up in stuff that prevents us from getting our stuff done and/or getting even further behind.

There are also rumors floating around that people want to schedule off-site bonding events outside of working hours.

 

[Bunk McNulty]

We all get along well, and once in a while we'll all hit a club together, but there is never any formal arrangement, except for getting together to eat once a year, usually some evening between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve.

 

[Admiral Thrawn]

This thread sort of reminds me of efforts underway at my workplace that are basically "forced socialization". They call it the "XYZ Fun Club" (XYZ being the name of our organization).

Once a month there is some kind of event with mandatory participation. This past week is a Mardi Gras celebration, next month it will be March madness with a hoop shooting contest.

This is a Pharma company...Not a lot of downtime for most of us, and the vast majority of us just want to come in and work, and go home and not get caught up in stuff that prevents us from getting our stuff done and/or getting even further behind.

There are also rumors floating around that people want to schedule off-site bonding events outside of working hours.

Dude, that sucks a$$.

 

[bass.slinger]

I understand perfectly - while I mostly liked the people in my last band, I just was not really interested in hanging with them before or after the gig for a variety of reason.

1. With a good marriage, a career, dogs, and a major house remodeling project, finding time was already an issue
2. The idea of wanting to go out drinking after finishing up a gig at 1:30am had zero appeal
3. Hanging prior to the gig was tough since the band leader was constantly late, so I quit trying and just made sure to be ready on time
4. Sorry to sound like a jerk, but familiarity can breed contempt, especially when you are often dealing with people with serious egos - space can often be a good thing

My advice would be to pick your battles carefully (ask yourself if this is the hill you want to metaphorically die on). If you like the band, hanging out every other week might be a good compromise and be upfront that you are busy and only have so much time available. Good luck.

 

[FDR Jones]

If I were ever in a band, it would be because I’m friends with the other members. I’m not going to waste my sweet precious time playing music with a bunch of losers I don’t even like. Sorry, life’s too short.

 

[74hc]

Depends upon the age. It was that way for me when I was young and we had girlfriends, not wife at the time. But today, as I'm an aging musician, we don't do this at all. We'll have one or two get togethers with families, but that's about it.

This is probably normal, unless I'm not.

 

[RustyAxe]

First, you need to define YOUR goals. Its all subjective ... what does one expect of their band experience? Are you in for the music? The money (if any)? A social experience? I've been in my band for 10 years now, we get along great make some great music, and have regular gigs booked a year in advance. While we like each other, and know each other's families, we don't hang together outside of gigs. I'd never join any band that made it compulsory (or had the unrealistic expectation) that I join their social group. That's not why I'm a musician.

 

[RustyAxe]

This sounds like someone who has an idealistic view of what a band is based on one too many episodes of the Partridge Family or the Monkees.

I thought the same thing. "Let's form a band". "Great, we can rent a house". "We can share a car". "Let's do it!". "Tomorrow, we'll go buy instruments!"

 

[kdogg]

If you want to do it, do it. If you don’t, don’t. To many variables involved for anyone who doesn’t know you or your band to give any meaningful advice.

Unless you make your living, or a significant portion of it, from playing music, it’s just a glorified hobby. If that’s the case for you, the main factor in your decision is what does, or does not, bring you happiness.

 

[2strings2frets]

Not for me. Just because you work together doesn’t mean you are married to each other. When I leave work I leave it behind period. Exceptions are possible but not likely. Each to his own though.

 

[mrcbass]

I like being in bands where I don't mind hanging out with the other members, but wouldn't be interested in a "obligated to hang out" situation. Lets have our fun with the music, maybe we'll occasionally do other social stuff , but nothing mandatory feeling.

 

[awakefie]

Played in my last band nearly a decade. I don't really hang. I usually have a lot going on. Was fairly close with the bl but never hung out other than the occasional beer. Nothing against them, I'm just not a hang out person.

Keyboard player was in the band 2 years before I knew her last name, lol.

 

[Sore Thumb]

I was a little worried about joining the band I'm in currently. I was asked to join by my coworker (singer) who I get along with great and have worked with for the past 7 years. His brother in law is the lead guitarist, and the drummer was his best friend since elementary school and childhood neighbour of LG. It's been awesome. I've travelled to see shows with them. Our wives get along. Our kids are all the same age. I've been included in birthdays and what not. They've included me into their circle of friends and family. But we don't do everything together, nor do we accept every invitation either. It works for me.

 

[Shalto]

This thread sort of reminds me of efforts underway at my workplace that are basically "forced socialization". They call it the "XYZ Fun Club" (XYZ being the name of our organization).

Once a month there is some kind of event with mandatory participation. This past week is a Mardi Gras celebration, next month it will be March madness with a hoop shooting contest.

This is a Pharma company...Not a lot of downtime for most of us, and the vast majority of us just want to come in and work, and go home and not get caught up in stuff that prevents us from getting our stuff done and/or getting even further behind.

There are also rumors floating around that people want to schedule off-site bonding events outside of working hours.

At the risk of derailing the thread I get you. I don't understand why businesses don't understand their employees would rather socialise with their actual friends. They don't want after work sundowners and weekend workshops, they want to spend time with their favourite people.