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My Band Dropped the Bomb on Me

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#21
Icey101 said:
could be code for...lets bring our mate in

dont think about it, just move on
Click to expand...

+1

Sounds very much like a situation I found myself in with my last band. Was with them for 2 years. We seemed to be cooking quite nicely, all got on, were writing stuff and replacing covers with our own stuff quite regularly. Played a blinding New Years gig, 3 days later drummer phones me up, tells me singer/guitard (ego the size of a small country) is not 'connecting' with me anymore, and I'm OUT. 2 weeks later I hear they got his best mate in on Bass! They still owe me money!

Exactly the same thing happened to me about 20 yrs ago in another band.

Thats the danger of joining an existing setup. You will ALWAYS be the new boy.

Best thing is to form a band yourself... a) you can never get thrown out, b) you play what YOU wanna play.
 
#23
There are a multitude of reasons why someone is let go. Many are legitimate, many are not.

Your original post saying you don't want to over-analyze it is where you should begin and promptly end. Whether you are being replaced, they are using you as a scapegoat due to their own inabilities, or they're just d-bags, your main focus should be to just move on. Dwelling on it won't conjure up the mystical answers, it'll just distract you from growing as a musician and finding something that does work.
 
#24
#17: i don't want to sound rude, but i have made experiences with know-it-all guys and your story sounds like the other side of view.
If there are six guys all at the same level musically, then one better musician can really ruin the experience. If he just does his thing better than the rest, all is good. Once he won't stop correcting/teaching his bandmates, he becomes a pest, maybe without even realising it.
 
#25
lavaxtris said:
I got kicked out of a 6-7 piece ska band not too long ago. Me and my friends all know that I was the better musician in the band... and I taught them a lot of valuable things about music. This thing was, they were not at a level of musicality (or maturity) as I was, and most of them didn't want to try to sound any better. Eventually they kicked me out because I was trying to make them better musicians.
Click to expand...

Did they bring you into the band to play bass or did they bring you into the band to help them become better musicians?

Blue
 
#26
fourstringdrums said:
Then I'd over analyze why he was analyzing me...it's like we had a hard time getting a read on each other.
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How much band experience do you have?

When you join a new band try not to analyz anything.

When it comes to booking gigs there should only be one point of contact with the band not two.

Blue
 
#29
Keep your head up, pal. I got canned once when I was doing nothing wrong in a band. We even had two radio hits playing at the same time back then, and I was always throwing pages out of the book because I knew the parts so well. Singer said I missed too many notes, when all the time it was the keyboardist's left hand doing it. But, see, the keyboardist owned the band and wrote our checks. The guy just didn't like me personally, I guess. Anyway, it was the best thing that ever happened. I didn't enjoy the gig anyway. It was too sterile. Now, I'm playing my butt off doing stuff I love with three different bands.

But, I know what you mean about the feeling it gives you. At first, when it happened, I thought I had been fooling myself all my life into thinking I was a good musician. But, I soon got over that, especially when others assured me that my playing was indeed good. The band leader in this case was afraid of losing his lead singer, so he listened to him. He even told me afterwards that he never had any problem with any of my playing. That's just all f***** up.

You'll be fine, my friend. Don't let it bother you at all.
 
#31
fourstringdrums said:
I had the biggest issue with the bassist. We usually couldn't have a conversation or discuss band issues without misunderstanding each other.

Then likewise, I'd try to figure out why he was so confused. We'd wind up questioning each other and making a huge issue out of nothing really....it's like we had a hard time getting a read on each other.

The guitarist was more about personal connection. We never really talked outside of rehearsal and neither of us made an effort to.
Click to expand...

In YOUR own words.

It seems that you realized the "disconnect".
They didn't have this problem with the drum machine.:hyper:
 
#32
A lot of bands operate under what I call the "two-tier" system. Two or three people consider themselves the "band" and the others are just whoever else can put up with them at the time.

They tend to go through members often and they frequently don't give reasons because well, "those other guys weren't important."

I agree it sucks but short of starting your own band it's a part of the gig when you join an established project. Best you can do is move on and don't dwell on it I know it's easier said than done.

I can relate to the communication issue also. I used to work for an entrepreneur who overanalyzed every conversation. Hardly anything I said wasn't followed up with "let me rephrase myself." He'd stew over some off-hand comment for a week and I'd wake up to a 10 paragraph email going into excruciating detail over it. It got really old and it's one of the reasons I no longer work for him.
 
#36
Sometimes it's just about "fit"... Not necessarily musically, but socially as well. Even tho' that's just code for them not playing well with others. Like Stumbo said, new guy = fall guy. Plus, if there's a personality conflict, people make stuff up to justify getting rid of people.

Stuff happens. Try not to take it personal and move on.
 
#38
The best and hardest thing to do is not to take it personally.

Playing with other musicians can be like dating.

Ideally you want to wind up with people that make you fell like your contributions are valued and make you feel good about yourself and what you're doing creatively.

If it's a paid situation then you can deal with not feeling so great about things for quite a while because it's a job, but ultimately it's best to be with people that support you musically and personally.

When you do find those people, you're find yourself at your most creative and feel good about taking some risks and expanding your musical boundaries.

That's the best when that happens.

Sometimes getting pushed out of a less than stellar situation is the best thing that can happen to you in the long run.
 
#39
... so they dont like the way you look, the color of your kit, or the fact you dont eat the same things they do ...

... they dont need a good excuse, they don't even need an excuse ... sounds like you had a good run with them, and you have some decent tracks and the experience to build from ...

... sounds like you were supposed to be there for that time ... NEXT!!
 
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