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My Gear is so big...... joke thread

My gear is so big you are standing on it right now and don't even realize it.
My gear is so big that it takes a dozen Chinooks to move one knob.
My gear is so big that they almost made John Holmes change his name to "My Gear".
My gear is so big it made Chuck Norris, Mr. T., and Vin Diesel all cry.....at the same time.