If you want cheap and utilitarian, a full sized van is the way to go. Find an ex-government window van, and you are all set. Nobody with any shame will be caught in a van. If you have a van, you will hear all the jokes about "free candy" signs on the side. I have a 2002 Chevy Express that's been reliable as a stone since I got it six years ago. It had 92K miles on it, all courtesy of the state DOT. It had lost a few arguments with construction equipment and big rocks or something, but all the battle damage was more or less repaired. Plus it was mechanically maintained by the book. It gets lousy fuel economy and doesn't fit in all parking garages, but it hauls a decent sized PA, a drum kit, the upright bass, an Acoustic 360/361 stack, four guitars, three guitar amps and four band members. No fuss, no muss.
Plus, I have a "free champagne" sign on the van. It works for a different demographic, the one I prefer.