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Need advice from touring guys with girlfriends...

It sounds like she absolutely does not trust you, and it seems as if she's perfectly ready to go and find someone else. If her opinion of you is that low, and she's that sure about dropping you and finding another guy that she can cling to, I honestly recommend that you find someone else. Of course, you could just never tour.
 
Would like to give you advice, but if your going to tie my hands this way... :hmm:

Look, you are not a kid and neither is she. Relationships are built on one thing, TRUST. If you don't have that you don't have anything.

So it comes to this. If you leave, she dumps you. If you don't, you get to stay in a hollow relationship. Congrats.

You don't want to hear it, but you know what the answer is. Whether you force the issue now or later, it will end badly. You can't stay with someone you don't trust.
show her this....if trust is the thing....but i'm sensing that she just doesn't want to be left alone.....that may be something you can work on.........
 
Wow! I don't know what the thread is about. But I got involved with an extremely hot young woman in a band once.

The fact that she really had no interest in me meant nothing. The fact that it broke the band up was the real shame.

I am happy playing in a cool band with just guys, just works better for me.
 
Guess she won't be hooking up with any Marines...
Equating 1 month away to never being around...well it's all about perspective isn't it?
Go on your tour, be faithful, be nice about it. If she bolts, well it's probably for the best.
 
Which are you going to regret giving up most, 5 years or 10 years down the road?

If you don't tour for the girl, you're always going to hold it against her that she wouldn't let you go.

If you lose the girl for the band, you can find a new ex-girlfriend in just about every stop on tour.

I'd go on tour, and tell the girl to deal or bail. If she bails, it wasn't going to last anyway.
 
I am a competitive mustache grower but my job does not allow facial hair. There is a mustache competition in 3 weeks and I want to take the time off work to grow a killer stache. My girlfriend thinks I should not enter the competition and keep a steady paycheck for that time but the grand prize is a chance at making a meager salary as a gentleman with a mustache for the next few years until popular tastes in facial hair change. . . .


Sounds pretty silly, doesn't it?
 
haha that is an easy one just bring her to the road for a week, even a couple of days after that she'll never ask you again and you will thank you for the hard job, an artist is something a musician is something else, a week on the road in a tight van or car long hours between cities crappy hotels, and sleeping sited sharing the band mates bo and sweat lol,
 
I am a competitive mustache grower but my job does not allow facial hair. There is a mustache competition in 3 weeks and I want to take the time off work to grow a killer stache. My girlfriend thinks I should not enter the competition and keep a steady paycheck for that time but the grand prize is a chance at making a meager salary as a gentleman with a mustache for the next few years until popular tastes in facial hair change. . . .


Sounds pretty silly, doesn't it?

Silly? that sounds AWESOME!! I want to competitively grow facial hair!
 
to play devils advocate to the majority...

she might have really good reasons to not trust him or dislike his pursuit of music. all i am saying is we are only hearing one side, and as collective bassists of course we want to stick up for the musician!

she probably doesn't have a reason not to trust you, and in that case you need a major heart to heart and if she is too shallow to support you than screw her, move on.

but reallllllly think about the situation. there is likely something specific bothering her that she isn't telling you and you aren't picking up on. Get to figuring that out, becuase it might be a simple fix and she will then trust you.


good luck.

you guys should go on that website where each party uploads a 60 second video voicing their side of an argument and the internet votes on whos right. :P
 
I had this issue with my last girlfriend, my singer did to
so we set up a small one week tour about 2 months before a month long one
we both took our girlfriends on this one week tour.
once they realized it was a lot of driving and a lot of nothing they were bored with it and never asked to go with us again

we even made them sleep in the van with us and the rest of the band to get the "full touring experience"

also go on tour. At least once. You will never regret it
 

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