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Need to vent.....

#41
Play the gig, and be done with it!

A band comprised mostly of "really nice guy just a bad musician" types should not actually be gigging.

*Those groups should stick to house parties, and leave the venues for actual serious musicians!
 
#51
Yea I will have to grin and bear it for a few more days. I am supposed to have another practice with them tonight before the gig Friday, They wanted me to learn two new songs but I really don't want me to waste my time learning songs I wont be playing after Friday.
 
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#55
Dp1363 said:
The other band I play in are comprised of guys that are mostly basement hackers that never really played out much.
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Then you must do the gig, if only as a teaching exercise for these guys to show them the right way, from the description, that's a way they aren't too familiar with, so...baby steps on a slick stage...
 
#56
Dp1363 said:
Sorry guys I just need to vent.....I play in two bands one band is great awesome musicians I love the music we play except for the minor disagreements we generally get along great and the guys are professional and we enjoy playing with each other. All experienced musicians. We have a lot of fun playing and the bar patrons always seem to love that band which fuels our passion to play even more.

The other band I play in are comprised of guys that are mostly basement hackers that never really played out much. There are three core members that are terrible musicians and think they know everything and control everything. Music selection gigs etc.

Fights are the norm while I sit there and stare into space. well I have had enough and want to quit. I actually like a few of the guys personally and when I talked about quitting, they begged me to stay. I was actually OK with playing with these guys in the basement minus the constant arguments over things like harmonies that none of them seem to ever get right anyway. I generally thought of this band as a way to keep my chops up. They started to get gigs (only because the drummer has a lot of connections, if they had to get a gig on musicianship it wouldn't happen). The more gigs they attempt to book the less I want to stay. TBH I am embarrassed to play out with these guys.

Well I finally went off on them last night about an issue of them trying to take advantage of me. I know, and they know I am done. But......we have a gig coming up this Friday night. As much as I dread having to play with these guys again, I feel like I need to honor my commitment for the gig.

An experienced rhythm guitar player (who gets it) who was also in the band, just quit last week for the same reasons. He and I were discussing how much we hate this band, He says I should I just call up and quit now. His thought is life is too short to let them make me miserable any longer, gig or no gig.
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You're the one who took it this far knowing all along what was going on, it was right in front of you. Honor the commitment then move on, in the end you'll be glad you did. When the gigs over just pack up your stuff and leave.
 
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#57
When you're in more than one band you don't have to get angry if things aren't going well in one band but they're going great in the other band. Just let "bad band" know the time commitment is excessive due to your other band, job, family commitments, etc. so you need to step down. You're in good place.
 
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#58
tedious1 said:
Then you must do the gig, if only as a teaching exercise for these guys to show them the right way, from the description, that's a way they aren't too familiar with, so...baby steps on a slick stage...
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Thats part of the problem with these guys. They have little experience yet they think they know everything and wont take even the subtlest suggestions from anyone with more experience. So I bite my tongue most of the time. I am done doing that as well. Just another part of the whole ball of frustration.
 
#59
SteveHeissner said:
When you're in more than one band you don't have to get angry if things aren't going well in one band but they're going great in the other band. Just let "bad band" know the time commitment is excessive due to your other band, job, family commitments, etc. so you need to step down. It doesn't need to involve anger and/or offending anyone.
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I agree. As I said in my original post I just needed to vent. The annoyances finally built up and I came to TB to voice my frustration.
 
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#60
Dp1363 said:
Yea I will have to grin and bear it for a few more days. I am supposed to have another practice with them tonight before the gig Friday, They wanted me to learn two new songs but I really don't want me to waste my time learning songs I wont be playing after Friday.
Click to expand...
Just my opinion, but you are only obligated to do what you agreed to do, which is play the gig. If you've already let them know you are quitting I don't think you are obligated to learn new songs, or attend rehearsals.

I was in a band where we were getting ready to fire the drummer for epic incompetence (my fault for not insisting as soon as I saw he couldn't/wouldn't be fixed). The drummer and guitarist wanted to have a rehearsal before the last gig. I refused, said rehearsing didn't help because the drummer didn't know the songs and he wasn't going to learn them on my dime. He was no better or worse than he usual and we fired him the next day.

If you claim to be a professional, you honor your word. It's really just that simple. If they change the circumstances of what you agreed to, that is a different story.
 
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