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Dude, I hear you. I am going to the rehearsal tonight. (Which should be fun) and will be doing the gig on Friday night. Counting the minutes until the last song of the last set is over.
I'd take the long view, even if they aren't good musicians, they may still network with musicians you may want to work with, if your story comes up, you don't want these guys to be able to air a legitimate grievance in the eyes of other musicians.
Hell, one of 'em may come to Jesus, figure out the performance end isn't where they should be, and get into promotion instead. That could be the nightmare scenario if you decide to burn the bridges...
It's just easier to think dark malevolent thoughts while walking away from the bridge than it is to turn around and toss a lit match at it, particularly if you are taking the long view. Who knows what the situation will be next year, or the year after that...
EDIT: Having said all that, I realize that the point of this was to vent, good call, get all the angst out here, no matter what you end up doing, that process is worthwhile. And if that lets you get past your anger and frustration, and make a decision with a cool level head, than that's all you can ask.
- Jun 6, 2012
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Read your own post and the answer you shall find...........
You don't enjoy being in this band, the musicians aren't very talented, and you're embarrassed to play out with them.
You need to quit.
But you are committed to the gig on Friday. Your reputation will suffer more from not honoring your commitment that it will for playing one lousy gig. Play the gig, quit immediately afterwards.
You don't enjoy being in this band, the musicians aren't very talented, and you're embarrassed to play out with them.
You need to quit.
But you are committed to the gig on Friday. Your reputation will suffer more from not honoring your commitment that it will for playing one lousy gig. Play the gig, quit immediately afterwards.
venting is good. Sorry you got sucked into their drama, and you know it is draining your energy to deal with these clods. But the bottom line here is that you must see this as a job and conduct yourself as a professional. If this were a job at, say a bank, and the employees were squabbling like this, they would be fired. So my two cents is draw a sharp bright line at personal issues, then tell them you will play this last gig with them.
Exactly where I stopped reading the OPs thread too. How on earth can anyone keep chops up - even not developing but staying at the same level - with lesser musicians than you yourself are? I've yet to see this happen, it hasn't happened, and I will be not around long enought to see this happen, and as such, I wouldn't hold my breath. Just stating that line blew it all into a bad weird catch-22 of some sorts. Move on. Is the gig that important? "Ruin you reputation?" for whom? When anyone hears that band they instead would go "uh oh...now I get it... little wonder".
Move on. pre-gig or post-gig doesn't matter.
Good venting...I would definitely play the gig and call it a day...I have a very similar situation but am just gradually fading away and they are getting the picture that my other band(s) are taking precedence, have had them get fill in's for most of the last few gigs...they are a great group of guys but I don't have the time to waste as I am sure you don't - others have said don't burn any bridges because you never know with whom or how you might interact in the future which is sound advice - try to enjoy your last gig! good luck
Resign now, and tell them to figure out if they need you for this weekend's gig. If so, since you're freelancing as a subcontractor, tell them your price and payment upfront on downbeat.
After that gig, take it from there. You may find advantageous of freelancing when it comes to the band. You can control your own practice schedule via freelance pay. If they want to practice with you, then your time is valuable and they need to pay fairly.
Hopefully, you don't co-own any band gear, or owed back pay.
After that gig, take it from there. You may find advantageous of freelancing when it comes to the band. You can control your own practice schedule via freelance pay. If they want to practice with you, then your time is valuable and they need to pay fairly.
Hopefully, you don't co-own any band gear, or owed back pay.
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Sounds like you fit right in. But youre even more smug and controlling because youre passive. If youd stop "staring into space" and contribute (without all the judgement) it would also fulfill your awesome ego. (sans their begging, sorry)
Im glad Paul or John didnt walk out to find more "talented" people.
(this is friendly btw not a personal attack, imagine my arm around your shoulders and me poking you in the ribs as I say this)
PS any pro here will tell you to NEVER burn bridges
Im glad Paul or John didnt walk out to find more "talented" people.
(this is friendly btw not a personal attack, imagine my arm around your shoulders and me poking you in the ribs as I say this)
PS any pro here will tell you to NEVER burn bridges
It's a ludicrous statement and often the first response on TB, which is why I smile and chuckle a bit everytime I see it.
I spent time staring into space because I didn't need to get caught up in their drama. I used to calm things down during ridiculous fights between the GP's which happened often, but it never stopped happening. I tried on many occasions to lend advice where it was needed and it was ignored. They decided they know whats best. So I decided I wasn't going to be part of their drama anymore. As I stated I don't need the aggravation.
No ego issue here. I wasn't saying they were begging me to stay because I consider myself a great player. They begged me to stay because I caused the least amount of drama. They apparently are having trouble keeping bass players and rhythm guitar players form staying because of the drama. I decided to stick it out for the past few months, but now I am done for good. Sometimes you gotta burn a few bridges. I have no plans to play with any of these guys again. And they are definitely not plugged into any great musician network that will cost me a job with another band.
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Good venting! Glad you are doing the gig. You are a pro. Stay on the high road and your future will be bright and full of hot drunken bar girls and Uber rides home.
I had a situation like this years ago.... a 3-piece originals band-long story short, it wasn't working, and I got an offer to form a duo with an established (regionally) singer/songwriter, with an amazing voice (part of what the other band seriously lacked!). A no-brainer for me to work with the S/S, but the former band and my new duo partner had a gig on the same night, which was about a month out.
When I called the BL of the trio to quit, I asked him nicely if he could find someone else for the gig. He said, "No, I'm going to hold you to it, since we booked that while you were part of the band." I went ahead and honored the booking, no regrets about that, but I remember deciding not to work with the BL again after that (the gig wasn't the only reason). Plus I did, um , steal his drummer when I formed my own band a year later.....
When I called the BL of the trio to quit, I asked him nicely if he could find someone else for the gig. He said, "No, I'm going to hold you to it, since we booked that while you were part of the band." I went ahead and honored the booking, no regrets about that, but I remember deciding not to work with the BL again after that (the gig wasn't the only reason). Plus I did, um , steal his drummer when I formed my own band a year later.....
