• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Nightmare drummer audition

#65
ebo said:
He is in his 50’s, is single and lives with his mother.

I couldnt care less about your band. I wish i could have my way with your feet.
Click to expand...

These 2 sentences tell you all you need to know to not invite him back. Feet? Gross and weird.

So happy to have sane, talented, rational people to play music with.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: roccobass and Fonkamex
#66
ebo said:
My band has struggled to fill our open drummer slot. We’ve had two great drummers who had to leave for personal reasons and since then it’s been a revolving door of disasters. I just need to vent. We auditioned the latest one last night. He was 20 minutes late. Didn’t apologize. He had three weeks to dial in 10 songs, 5 we picked and 5 he picked. He muffed one after the other. He is in his 50’s, is single and lives with his mother. We told him we’d call him to let him know. He needed directions to get back to the freeway, apparently he’s never heard of GPS. Later in the evening he sent our female singer a text, then sent another one at 2:40 in the morning. Here they are. I’ve only removed names to protect the innocent and guilty… Hello, i just wanted to say i had a great time jamming with you guys tonite. I wanted to mention i think you are great players and good guys but i did detect errors in all of our performances tonight. Your bass player who i think is terrific and who plays a great walking bass line ala Bill Wyman.. did play several wrong notes.. Myself who i did feel played well, with a groovy beat didnt hit every drum break with perfection.. Youre gtr player who had a weak tone and when i could hear him, had a ' scratchy' gtr tone was not perfect either.. My point is i think we can help each other and be a top notch cover band.. You guys arent quite there.. and neither am i but together i think we can reach that next level.. p.s lets get your gtr player a Marshall half stack and a Les Paul and grow some balls - Sincerly —- Here is the 2:40am second text…that he sent to my female singer…full stop.

I couldnt care less about your band. I wish i could have my way with your feet.
Click to expand...

Jeeeeeeeeeeez OP. Was the drummer actually 3 sentient neckbearded trilby's stacked in a trenchcoat?


ebo said:
The singer is the de facto band leader and placed the ad. Hers was the only number he had. If I had his number I’d have responded! Going forward the guitar player is placing and screening the ad responses. @Fonkamex we send a list of questions asking about past experience, preferred music, rehearsal and gig availability, whether they are in other bands, etc.. he sounded good and was super enthusiastic about auditioning. He lost me when he was 20 minutes late, and it was nothing but downhill from there. I’ve been married forever so I never experienced the dating apps firsthand but my son has. He said the person you respond to and set up a date with isn’t always the person who shows up for that date. This guy fell into that category, and if he’s on dating apps I cringe to think about the women who have received 2am texts from him. Makes me understand and sympathize with their predicament a bit more.
Click to expand...

Can definitely vouch for your sons experience there. Sometimes it's not the same person who shows up. Sometimes it's that they never show up at all. Sometimes (or really just the one time) they send pictures that appear to be them after a very very serious domestic abuse event asking for a not unsubstantial amount of money. It's a wasteland out there. I did meet my current girlfriend on an app, but it was a whole lot of nightmare to get there. I always try to just roll with it though. Like with bad auditions though, as a guy, the worst bad experience I'm reasonably expected to have on an app or an audition is getting stood up or bad date/audition. For a young lady meeting someone off the internet, the worst thing that could happen is ending up in the trunk of someones car or (less seriously) a total creep being gross over text/call repeatedly.

John Sparkman said:
Yes. It is.
And considering that, in 2023, the population of 40 and 50 year olds who still live at home with mommy is growing exponentially, it's going to soon be against the law to take such cheap shots.

Because, feelings.
:thumbsup:
Click to expand...

Ahh yes, rahh rahh young people are sensitive and broke. Wielding their supreme power of......12.2% and 25% of the seats in the house and senate respectively to criminalize hurting feelings :rolleyes:.
 
#67
The living with his mother part nor the GPS issue don’t bother me at all. I’ve played with excellent and well adjusted players who live with/ care for infirmed parents and are internet challenged.

His appalling lack of prep, talent, the intent to turn the situation around from reality and penchant for the creepy is most concerning.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Flamingo21, Aaron Singer, ebo and 4 others
#69
upload_2023-10-5_10-15-27.png
 
#73
Fonkamex said:
I read your story and the first thing that came to my mind wasn’t the “creepy drummer” part; It is about a better screening process for auditioning musicians.
There is something to wonder about this story: how a guy like that passed all your filters, had all your phone numbers, exchange many texts before hand and nobody was able to detect if he is a good fit for your band or not?
I would suggest to review your posted adds looking for a drummer, to review the questions you need to ask in order to detect red flags as soon as possible. Basically, the ones oriented to detect personality traits.
The process of hiring a new band member is two ways.
I know this is a fastidious part of having a band but it is important to know what you are looking for.
Good luck!
Click to expand...

This. In every gigging band I've been in, I, along with whoever the BL was, always met prospective members in person outside of the rehearsal space in a neutral place, usually a bar or restaurant. There was never more than one point of contact, the BL. No one ever stepped foot into our rehearsal space before an in-person vetting at the bare minimum.

That said, I :laugh:ed reading the story.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Btbp, Discount Bassy, ebo and 2 others
#74
ebo said:
The singer is the de facto band leader and placed the ad. Hers was the only number he had. If I had his number I’d have responded! Going forward the guitar player is placing and screening the ad responses. @Fonkamex we send a list of questions asking about past experience, preferred music, rehearsal and gig availability, whether they are in other bands, etc.. he sounded good and was super enthusiastic about auditioning. He lost me when he was 20 minutes late, and it was nothing but downhill from there. I’ve been married forever so I never experienced the dating apps firsthand but my son has. He said the person you respond to and set up a date with isn’t always the person who shows up for that date. This guy fell into that category, and if he’s on dating apps I cringe to think about the women who have received 2am texts from him. Makes me understand and sympathize with their predicament a bit more.
Click to expand...
I never give out my number in situations like this

For a first-time meeting arrangement, you can correspond with me through an anonymous email address I use.

I am in full agreement with the tardiness issue. I'd get to auditions 20 minutes early to make sure I was there on time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Fonkamex

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back