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Nightmare drummer audition

#41
ebo said:
My band has struggled to fill our open drummer slot. We’ve had two great drummers who had to leave for personal reasons and since then it’s been a revolving door of disasters. I just need to vent. We auditioned the latest one last night. He was 20 minutes late. Didn’t apologize. He had three weeks to dial in 10 songs, 5 we picked and 5 he picked. He muffed one after the other. He is in his 50’s, is single and lives with his mother. We told him we’d call him to let him know. He needed directions to get back to the freeway, apparently he’s never heard of GPS. Later in the evening he sent our female singer a text, then sent another one at 2:40 in the morning. Here they are. I’ve only removed names to protect the innocent and guilty… Hello, i just wanted to say i had a great time jamming with you guys tonite. I wanted to mention i think you are great players and good guys but i did detect errors in all of our performances tonight. Your bass player who i think is terrific and who plays a great walking bass line ala Bill Wyman.. did play several wrong notes.. Myself who i did feel played well, with a groovy beat didnt hit every drum break with perfection.. Youre gtr player who had a weak tone and when i could hear him, had a ' scratchy' gtr tone was not perfect either.. My point is i think we can help each other and be a top notch cover band.. You guys arent quite there.. and neither am i but together i think we can reach that next level.. p.s lets get your gtr player a Marshall half stack and a Les Paul and grow some balls - Sincerly —- Here is the 2:40am second text…that he sent to my female singer…full stop.

I couldnt care less about your band. I wish i could have my way with your feet.
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I read your story and the first thing that came to my mind wasn’t the “creepy drummer” part; It is about a better screening process for auditioning musicians.
There is something to wonder about this story: how a guy like that passed all your filters, had all your phone numbers, exchange many texts before hand and nobody was able to detect if he is a good fit for your band or not?
I would suggest to review your posted adds looking for a drummer, to review the questions you need to ask in order to detect red flags as soon as possible. Basically, the ones oriented to detect personality traits.
The process of hiring a new band member is two ways.
I know this is a fastidious part of having a band but it is important to know what you are looking for.
Good luck!
 
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#43
Trust me if I say I love my drummers: we've been good friends for a long, long time and they are crazy (luckily in a good way not creepy/slimy like this guy o_O), but I always joke on 'em both saying: "using a drum machine will be better, because you can press "stop" anytime" :D
Drummers please don't get mad at me, just joking of course (or maybe not :smug::smug::smug::smug:)
Going back to your story, I hope your singer takes care and stay safe, those messages gave me goose bumps, I simply can't afford creepy middle-aged men acting like that with women
 
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#45
The band’s reaction:

IMG_2365.gif
 
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#47
ebo said:
My band has struggled to fill our open drummer slot. We’ve had two great drummers who had to leave for personal reasons and since then it’s been a revolving door of disasters. I just need to vent. We auditioned the latest one last night. He was 20 minutes late. Didn’t apologize. He had three weeks to dial in 10 songs, 5 we picked and 5 he picked. He muffed one after the other. He is in his 50’s, is single and lives with his mother. We told him we’d call him to let him know. He needed directions to get back to the freeway, apparently he’s never heard of GPS. Later in the evening he sent our female singer a text, then sent another one at 2:40 in the morning. Here they are. I’ve only removed names to protect the innocent and guilty… Hello, i just wanted to say i had a great time jamming with you guys tonite. I wanted to mention i think you are great players and good guys but i did detect errors in all of our performances tonight. Your bass player who i think is terrific and who plays a great walking bass line ala Bill Wyman.. did play several wrong notes.. Myself who i did feel played well, with a groovy beat didnt hit every drum break with perfection.. Youre gtr player who had a weak tone and when i could hear him, had a ' scratchy' gtr tone was not perfect either.. My point is i think we can help each other and be a top notch cover band.. You guys arent quite there.. and neither am i but together i think we can reach that next level.. p.s lets get your gtr player a Marshall half stack and a Les Paul and grow some balls - Sincerly —- Here is the 2:40am second text…that he sent to my female singer…full stop.

I couldnt care less about your band. I wish i could have my way with your feet.
Click to expand...

I’d call it a victory if he’s not not interested in the band. The rest is pretty creepy.
 
#52
The singer is the de facto band leader and placed the ad. Hers was the only number he had. If I had his number I’d have responded! Going forward the guitar player is placing and screening the ad responses. @Fonkamex we send a list of questions asking about past experience, preferred music, rehearsal and gig availability, whether they are in other bands, etc.. he sounded good and was super enthusiastic about auditioning. He lost me when he was 20 minutes late, and it was nothing but downhill from there. I’ve been married forever so I never experienced the dating apps firsthand but my son has. He said the person you respond to and set up a date with isn’t always the person who shows up for that date. This guy fell into that category, and if he’s on dating apps I cringe to think about the women who have received 2am texts from him. Makes me understand and sympathize with their predicament a bit more.
 

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#54
Aaron Singer said:
This living-with-a-parent thing is an easy criticism to make, but a total cheap shot. Maybe they support each other in many ways - financial, emotional, practical. He may be a great help and comfort to her, considering she is in her 70s. Maybe all they have is each other. I would rather live with my children as opposed to growing old and alone. There is a well known and prominent bass player on the west coast, many of you will know his name, an old old friend of mine, who lived with his mother his whole life, because of these reasons. No shame. She died a couple of years ago, now he is alone, but who cares, just mock the man, I guess, even though he plays his ass off and is successful beyond probably most of us. I won't name him, because not sure he could withstand the collective scorn /s. The kick-em-out-when-they're-18 philosophy does not pervade all cultures, nor should it.
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Sure but my hunch is that this drummer has been unable to make a go of it in life, all things considered. There are people out there who claim they’re taking care of an aging parent when in reality they’re mooching off them.
 
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#55
Aaron Singer said:
This living-with-a-parent thing is an easy criticism to make, but a total cheap shot. Maybe they support each other in many ways - financial, emotional, practical. He may be a great help and comfort to her, considering she is in her 70s. Maybe all they have is each other. I would rather live with my children as opposed to growing old and alone. There is a well known and prominent bass player on the west coast, many of you will know his name, an old old friend of mine, who lived with his mother his whole life, because of these reasons. No shame. She died a couple of years ago, now he is alone, but who cares, just mock the man, I guess, even though he plays his ass off and is successful beyond probably most of us. I won't name him, because not sure he could withstand the collective scorn /s. The kick-em-out-when-they're-18 philosophy does not pervade all cultures, nor should it.
Click to expand...
I totally understand your point...but in context of this drummer, I'm not sure it fits in here.
 
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#56
ebo said:
My band has struggled to fill our open drummer slot. We’ve had two great drummers who had to leave for personal reasons and since then it’s been a revolving door of disasters. I just need to vent. We auditioned the latest one last night. He was 20 minutes late. Didn’t apologize. He had three weeks to dial in 10 songs, 5 we picked and 5 he picked. He muffed one after the other. He is in his 50’s, is single and lives with his mother. We told him we’d call him to let him know. He needed directions to get back to the freeway, apparently he’s never heard of GPS. Later in the evening he sent our female singer a text, then sent another one at 2:40 in the morning. Here they are. I’ve only removed names to protect the innocent and guilty… Hello, i just wanted to say i had a great time jamming with you guys tonite. I wanted to mention i think you are great players and good guys but i did detect errors in all of our performances tonight. Your bass player who i think is terrific and who plays a great walking bass line ala Bill Wyman.. did play several wrong notes.. Myself who i did feel played well, with a groovy beat didnt hit every drum break with perfection.. Youre gtr player who had a weak tone and when i could hear him, had a ' scratchy' gtr tone was not perfect either.. My point is i think we can help each other and be a top notch cover band.. You guys arent quite there.. and neither am i but together i think we can reach that next level.. p.s lets get your gtr player a Marshall half stack and a Les Paul and grow some balls - Sincerly —- Here is the 2:40am second text…that he sent to my female singer…full stop.

I couldnt care less about your band. I wish i could have my way with your feet.
Click to expand...
Have your singer put this guy’s phone number on Block.
 

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