I never heard of the expression "not all men" before this morning. It is something for me to consider before I open my mouth. In fact, I think some of things I have bolded below in the second and third paragraphs are good things to remember in any conversation.
I know we are mostly men here but the recent headlines about sexual harassment affects us all, men and women alike. I am still pondering about how I treat women and if there is anything I can do better.
At first I was annoyed by this and thought it was stereotyping men, but as I kept reading it made more sense to me.
I know we can talk about this without anyone getting smug and self righteous, we are bassists right. I usually find that folks who are the most indignant and above the rest of us unwashed masses are the same people who have much to hide. Sometimes they don't even realize it.
Here is what it says on Wikipedia:
#NotAllMen is a feminist internet meme. It is a shortened hashtag version of the phrase not all men are like that, sometimes abbreviated NAMALT.
A Time magazine article on the subject states that "Not all men" was previously stated as an object of frustration, but in early 2014 it became usually used as an object of mockery. Intended to counter generalizations about men's behavior, the phrase has been criticized for deflecting conversations from uncomfortable topics, such as sexual assault. ...
As Kelsey McKinney of Invalid Link Removed states, "The phrase has been reappropriated by feminists and turned into a meme meant to parody its pervasiveness and bad faith." #NotAllMen-related memes include references to Aquaman, Invalid Link Removed, Invalid Link Removed, and the Kool Aid Man crashing through a wall to exclaim "not all men". An explanation of the NotAllMen hashtag came from Hillary Di Menna of This Magazine, who claimed that: "Saying 'not all men' is not helpful. We need to listen and we need to reflect." Slate Magazine writer Phil Plait wrote that the hashtag was
not an unexpected response. However, it's also not a helpful one. Why is it not helpful to say "not all men are like that"? For lots of reasons. For one, women know this. They already know not every man is a rapist, or a murderer, or violent. They don't need you to tell them. Second, it's defensive. When people are defensive, they aren't listening to the other person; they're busy thinking of ways to defend themselves. I watched this happen on Twitter, over and again. Third, the people saying it aren't furthering the conversation, they're sidetracking it. The discussion isn't about the men who aren't a problem. (Though, I'll note, it can be. I'll get back to that.) Instead of being defensive and distracting from the topic at hand, try staying quiet for a while and actually listening to what the thousands upon thousands of women discussing this are saying. Fourth—and this is important, so listen carefully—when a woman is walking down the street, or on a blind date, or, yes, in an elevator alone, she doesn't know which group you're in. You might be the potential best guy ever in the history of history, but there's no way for her to know that. A fraction of men out there are most definitely not in that group. Which are you? Inside your head you know, but outside your head it's impossible to.
In a differing opinion, India Times writer Sumeet Keswani writes that the statement "does not serve to derail the feminism movement; it seeks to draw the line between feminism and misandry."
NotAllMen - Wikipedia
I know we are mostly men here but the recent headlines about sexual harassment affects us all, men and women alike. I am still pondering about how I treat women and if there is anything I can do better.
At first I was annoyed by this and thought it was stereotyping men, but as I kept reading it made more sense to me.
I know we can talk about this without anyone getting smug and self righteous, we are bassists right. I usually find that folks who are the most indignant and above the rest of us unwashed masses are the same people who have much to hide. Sometimes they don't even realize it.
Here is what it says on Wikipedia:
#NotAllMen is a feminist internet meme. It is a shortened hashtag version of the phrase not all men are like that, sometimes abbreviated NAMALT.
A Time magazine article on the subject states that "Not all men" was previously stated as an object of frustration, but in early 2014 it became usually used as an object of mockery. Intended to counter generalizations about men's behavior, the phrase has been criticized for deflecting conversations from uncomfortable topics, such as sexual assault. ...
As Kelsey McKinney of Invalid Link Removed states, "The phrase has been reappropriated by feminists and turned into a meme meant to parody its pervasiveness and bad faith." #NotAllMen-related memes include references to Aquaman, Invalid Link Removed, Invalid Link Removed, and the Kool Aid Man crashing through a wall to exclaim "not all men". An explanation of the NotAllMen hashtag came from Hillary Di Menna of This Magazine, who claimed that: "Saying 'not all men' is not helpful. We need to listen and we need to reflect." Slate Magazine writer Phil Plait wrote that the hashtag was
not an unexpected response. However, it's also not a helpful one. Why is it not helpful to say "not all men are like that"? For lots of reasons. For one, women know this. They already know not every man is a rapist, or a murderer, or violent. They don't need you to tell them. Second, it's defensive. When people are defensive, they aren't listening to the other person; they're busy thinking of ways to defend themselves. I watched this happen on Twitter, over and again. Third, the people saying it aren't furthering the conversation, they're sidetracking it. The discussion isn't about the men who aren't a problem. (Though, I'll note, it can be. I'll get back to that.) Instead of being defensive and distracting from the topic at hand, try staying quiet for a while and actually listening to what the thousands upon thousands of women discussing this are saying. Fourth—and this is important, so listen carefully—when a woman is walking down the street, or on a blind date, or, yes, in an elevator alone, she doesn't know which group you're in. You might be the potential best guy ever in the history of history, but there's no way for her to know that. A fraction of men out there are most definitely not in that group. Which are you? Inside your head you know, but outside your head it's impossible to.
In a differing opinion, India Times writer Sumeet Keswani writes that the statement "does not serve to derail the feminism movement; it seeks to draw the line between feminism and misandry."
NotAllMen - Wikipedia
