Nudging your kid to play bass..

[Ace Of Bass]

Would Anyone out there like to share successful or unsuccessful experiences in doing this...?..My son's 12 and I'd love to put a bass in his hands and tell him to go for it...I kinda want him to want it more than me though...I have a close friend from Japan who insist that I just buy one and basically make him play it as that's pretty much.how it was done by her family in Japan (piano) and she's grateful that her folks made her play, but I just can't envision making him play...nobody ever had to force me to pick up the instrument..it was love and curiosity...thoughts...?

 

[sharkbait130]

Hehehe,,,,be careful what you wish for. My kid started messing around with my basses in his last year in middle school. The next year , he got into an arts oriented high school playing tuba which he had played all through middle school. A couple months into the year , the bass player in the high school jazz band moved away and they asked if anyone wanted to play bass in the jazz band. Up went Gatorbaits hand. He started double majoring on tuba and bass guitar. Four years later he can absolutely smoke me on the bass. Oh yeah , in his second year in high school he took up the stand up bass too. I hate him. I couldn't be more proud but I still hate him .

 

[fdeck]

I was "pushed" at an early age (not on bass), and am deeply grateful to my parents. With that said, I think it probably has a much better chance of working at a younger age, and only for some kids, some families, and some instruments. I've noticed that young kids are more likely to be interested in a melodic instrument. Violin and piano can be adapted to small hands. There are entire instructional programs geared towards little kids. Some parents can do the "push" thing, and some parents can't.

My argument for the "push" is that kids may say that they're interested, and be genuinely interested and motivated, yet still lack the attention span and self discipline to provide their own motivation to practice and improve. Also, just as good food can never be made as yummy as junk food, good activities for kids will never provide as much instant gratification and addiction as modern electronic entertainment. So you have to "help" them choose.

Electric bass... it's a harmony instrument with very few outlets for kids, and limited quality of instruction. Perhaps you should let your son choose an instrument, but then help him get into decent lessons and regular practice.

My kids will certainly surpass me musically. I couldn't be happier.

 

[the harp unstrung]

I was pushed hard at a very early age to play piano. Perhaps that's why, to this day, I don't read music! My son and daughter watched as I drove away to gig every Friday and Saturday night as they were growing up. Joke was, neither of them would open the door to me...wouldn't recognize me...at 10:00 on a weekend night. And then my son grew up to be a drummer...

 

[two fingers]

Yeah put him in band. He needs to learn to read music in my view. But at the same time, start helping him pick out stuff he likes on the bass. You may have to learn some stuff you hate, but it will still be good memories with your kid.

 

[the harp unstrung]

I thought I read a post from you saying that you were out of here.
(Yet ANOTHER thing about this place that makes me go "Hmmmm"...)

 

[GSMBass]

I don't think 'pushing' the kid to play a specific instrument is a good idea. Got a friend from a musical family who took up violin on parent's request, attended music school for 6 years, ended up resenting it. She has a beautiful violin just collecting dust. Interest him/her in music? Yes, totally. Make him/her play a specific instrument of your choice? Definitely not.

 

[Jonathan Daryll Lee]

I agree with djole on that statement. When I was 6, I was forced to learn the piano and resented every moment of it. It was only 11 years later now that I took up the electric bass with Interest which adds to the desire to learn more. Just my 2 cents.

 

[GKon]

I wish I was pushed a bit more by my parents when I was growing up. I tried guitar at 15/16 years old and
didn't like it. I then tried bass and I loved it! My Dad bought me my first bass and drove me to bass lessons
for about 6 months. Then we got a teacher to come to the house.

My first two years in college I also studied music.

THing is, though, I always mistakenly had the idea that you either "got it" or you don't.
I didn't naturally "have it". So I'd skip class, not study, not practice. This led to tons of gaps in
my knowledge. I'd then go through a cycle of getting bored with my playing, stop for a while, then pick
it up again.

It's taken me almost 30 years later to come to the realization that, yes, although natural talent has
something to do with it, it's mainly comes down to practice, practice, practice. Had my parents insisted
more that I play and pushed me, I think I would have ultimately realized that a lot sooner.

 

[dickseacup]

I agree with djole on that statement. When I was 6, I was forced to learn the piano and resented every moment of it. It was only 11 years later now that I took up the electric bass with Interest which adds to the desire to learn more. Just my 2 cents.

I was 8 or 9 when my parents put me and my older sister in piano lessons. The trip to the music store was an adventure and went something like this:

Parents: We're going down to the local mom and pop and you can pick out an instrument!
Me: Woohoo! Guitarsville!
<drive to music store>
Parents: OK, you two, take a look around and see what you'd like to play.
Me: <pointing> That black Gibson Les Paul Custom right there, that's what I want! How cool?!
Parents: Uh, are you sure? I mean, it's neat and all, but isn't there something else you'd rather play?
<meanwhile, sister has disappeared to another part of the store>
Me: Well, here's one that says Fender, like on a car, that's funny. How about this one?!
Parents: Uh, hrmm, you don't really want to play guitar, though. All those strings and then you have to have an amplifier and who would teach you?
Salesman: We offer lessons...
Parents: <cooly> Let's go find your sister.
<find sister in piano section>
Parents: Ah, yes, this is more like it. How about something like this, Dick Seacup?
Me: You said we could pick what we wanted to play, I don't want to play piano, I want to play guitar.
Parents: Well, see, we can only buy one instrument and your sister wants a piano so...
<piano purchased>

Six or seven years of non-stop fighting about piano ensued. They finally had enough when I was 15 or so and let me quit. I did learn how to sight read, though, and still can (although not as well as I could). I didn't touch a keyboard after that until I was 23 or 24, when I bought a Juno 2. I did start playing piano again in my 30s, wondering how I could have forgotten so much technique. I still play from time to time and actually enjoy it now, but maybe that's because it's on my terms. I find reading music for guitar to be impossible, though.

Anyway, to the question at hand. My younger two sons were both given the opportunity to pick an instrument. The older of the two picked guitar, the younger picked drums. We bought them decent instruments and set them up with lessons with the best teachers we could find locally. They stuck with it for three years and then lost interest, as sports were more exciting. Which is fine, but at least they had the exposure*. A couple days ago, the older one--now 12--told me he wanted to start taking guitar lessons again. We'll see, maybe after the first of the year.

My recommendation would be not to lean on your son to play bass just because you play bass. I don't think that would work out any better than those former high school football jocks who push their kids in to sports because that's what dad did. Too much risk of resentment. I'm one of those people that believe musical exposure is important but you need to let the little sprog figure out which instrument holds the most appeal for them.

* And I wound up with this quirky junior drum set that I can bang out a solid four on the floor on.

 

[Lobster11]

I don't think 'pushing' the kid to play a specific instrument is a good idea. Got a friend from a musical family who took up violin on parent's request, attended music school for 6 years, ended up resenting it. She has a beautiful violin just collecting dust. Interest him/her in music? Yes, totally. Make him/her play a specific instrument of your choice? Definitely not.

Exactly what I was going to say. Let him choose an instrument rather than making him follow in Dad's footsteps.
Besides, a nice bonus is that if he chooses something other than bass, you guys will be able to jam to together!

 

[Jonathan Daryll Lee]

I think another think to add is to inspire. Everything changed when I saw my friend who I had only known for a day at the time cover coldplay solo and had two older player give him a hand half-way through the set. After that I was like "Woah, that is so cool." If it wasn't for that I wouldn't be here.

 

[Gaolee]

Kids do what they do. As a parent, what you do is support them in doing what they do, so long as it is positive.

 

[SteveC]

I am a music teacher - orchestra. I am not forcing anything. I am not going to be "that parent". My kids have been exposed so they want to, but if they try and don't I won't be upset. They are their own person. Yes, I will encourage them to do SOMETHING musical because there is no doubt in my mind (and some research) that it makes you better at other things. Play, sing, whatever. And if they prefer soccer, so be it.

 

[pacojas]

i was tied to a piano and beaten.

 

[the harp unstrung]

i was tied to a piano and beaten.

...like he said...

 

[change-jug]

I grew up around my dad playing guitar.....always playing guitar. There was a Marshall stack in the dinning room,guitar picks on both living room end tables,a guitar on every vacation. I remember my dad going to band practice at night and taking me to music stores during the day.
Both my parents also spent more time spinning records than watching tv. I would build legos while listening to Van Halen,U2,Pink Floyd,Zappa,The Cult,endless 60`s/70`s/80`s rock. I mean,my parents asked me if I wanted a bike for my birthday(first grade),I asked if I could see U2 in concert(it was awesome!).

Through all this,my dad would ask me if I wanted to learn guitar. From the time I was 6 or 7 (about when he started) all the way up to 19,he`d randomly ask me if I wanted to learn,because he`d be more than happy to teach me. I always said no. I loved to sing but really wasnt interested in playing guitar.

Then when I turned 20,I started having dreams of playing bass. Then I befriended a kid who happened to play with drums(my best friend already played guitar). I thought,oh man,if I played bass,we could start a band!

One night I came home,went up to my dad while he was reading a book and told I wanted to learn to play bass.
I`ll never forget the look on his face.
He set his book down and looked at me with a smile. "About damn time!"
Next day I took my savings and went to pick out a bass with my dad.
A year later he was coming to bars to watch my band play.

Sure, he could have pushed me harder to play. Instead, my dad let me come to him,with a real urge and passion.
12 years later,I`m still playing and enjoying it.

 

[BazzTard]

don't force it. Have you talked to him?

One way is to take him to a music shop and buy him whatever instrument he wants...but he might choose drums, bummer

or, GIVE him one of your basses, if he takes it up, good, if not, take the bass back.

Read the post above this one, very good story from change-jug about not pushing it, but still offering frequently.

 

[deeptubes]

My daughter says she wants to play guitar. She'll be 4 in a couple of weeks. More than a year ago, I was looking at small-scale guitars asking her which one she would like to play. She said "I don't want to play guitar. I want to play bass, like daddy." Naturally, I lit up. Since then, she has primarily shown interest in guitar, and my Ibanez 540S is her favorite. She calls it her guitar. Sometimes I set it in her lap and she goes through it string by string. With a bass, she usually just beats on the strings in the upper register. I've started to introduce her to fretting and whatnot. Her fingers aren't strong enough yet. Anyway, there will be a kid-sized guitar in her future, maybe Xmas/birthday next year. But, I'm not going to get her something that I want. I want her to be excited, not viewing it as a chore. She likes the Daisy Butterfly and a pink Strat-like guitar. I guess we'll see what she likes next year.

No one had to force me to play. I saved money and bought my first bass myself. I have always been heavily into music, so I never needed any kind of nudging. Is your son really into music? If not, it will be a chore to him. I play because I love to play, and it brings me great joy. Why do you play? Did someone force you to when you were a kid? Advice to impel a 12 year old boy into playing: Chicks love good musicians. Start now, and you'll be good by high school.

 

[nixdad]

Encourage him to play whatever instrument he chooses. If it's bass, fantastic!

If he takes to it and turns out to be an exceptional musician playing at a very advanced level for his age, make sure he stays in school and gets his education while he's young - no matter what opportunities come his way (recording, touring, etc.) He'll have his musical abilities the rest of his life, but it will be much harder for him to get back into the swing of school if he does not continue once he graduates high school. Making a living doing music exclusively can certainly be done, but its very difficult. I'm certain there are few exceptions to this, but it's all about him creating as many opportunities for himself as he can.