Of Groupies and Flashers?

[Rooster009]

Let the chips fall as they may each gig, unless there's a HOT HOT chick, then focus on her. IMO

 

[JakeF]

What were the "fun dance songs" that made the ladies dispose of their undergarments?

All of these are adapted to three piece rock outfit, I LOVE adapting non-guitar lines to guitar. My friend let me work these up with his Bass player and Drummer beforehand, his guitar player and himself wanted nothing to do with these songs/styles. He said go for it but people will just laugh and it was a stupid idea. His band normally plays all Classic Rock (ZZ Top, Cream, Hendrix, etc.) and TOP 40 Rock/Metal (Metallica, RATM, RHCP, Nickelback etc.).

Big contrast to where I have been moving towards. My songs stood in HEAVY contrast. All the songs were strung together with a non-stop 4 to the floor (drummer developed love/hate relationship with the "Disco Beats" [except during brief snare buildup/end solo in the GTPS/CT medley). It simply FELT like a DJ set, the necessary key changes/jams/improvisations with slow alteration of tempo between songs just popped as we teased into the songs!

Songs :

Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics (Synth Lines moved onto guitar. Adapting those three octave jumps to guitar as a technical challenge is what landed me on this musical path to begin with, surprisingly easy to sing despite odd fingerings for the lead line. Hearing performed this way almost seemed to say "I mean business" and filled the dance floor that had been sparse.)

Crazy Train/Get this party Started Medley - David Usher (was the first time I saw this, may have been on this forum, really carried the floor with people on it though I question it's ability to draw people ONTO the floor. Big solo but instead of show stopping silence on big solo end like David Usher version, did a drum roll buildup into 4 to the floor dance kick like you would hear in a DJ mix)

Toxic - Britney Spears (Used big pinch harmonics for violins and galloping palm muting for the lower violin lines, for spy guitar sound I pick extra hard by the bridge. Tempo is a bit breakneck but a real test to keep the guitar THAT tight. I broke this song down note-by-note to learn the vocals, some of which are theremin like melodies, you REALLY project these minor/tritone/odd notes on pitch it can absolutely raise hair IF you don't fake the melodies, most songs with higher female voices I often sing an octave lower and move the inversions higher to respect space/EQ, this one I have been exploring down a step and a half sometimes to it is A minor in nature rather than C minor.)

I just wanna feel this moment - Pitbull (I had previously adapted Take on Me to guitar, I love the synth line, so just move it down a full step and it is the same thing. Play higher inversions for different rhythm parts/pianoish sounds. I mostly do it an octave down vocally but as long as I clear a path with higher inversions it works well. Oddly, I don't think this song has legs in my set but it FELT right that night)

It's a Beautiful Life - Ace of Bass (sounds almost Van Halenesque with cranked guitars in place of piano, especially with the inversions used, felt like it may be becoming my signature song till I write my own, MAD opportunity for over the top solo that I have not fully worked out[though what I played felt good]. Panties started flying during this, that moment it seemed like a line had been crossed, no one had expected what we did and it just connected, it was like a big collective sigh as though we had won a competition and were taking a victory lap).

When we end the song I basically said "Thanks for hanging with me, Everybody have fun!? (YEAH!!! [including another thrown pair of underwear and a flasher yelling WOOO!]), Well tell you what, I'd like to thank band X for letting jam a few out! Who here is going to party?! (happily/loudly/affirmitively!) We gonna hang out all night!? (Yeah! WOO!) Alright! Well I'M GONNA HANG OUT ALLLLLLLLLLLL NIGHT!!! (WOOO!) X Band will be back in just a few, what do yall think, should we get some drinkin done? (Woo!) *Exited Stage to high fives hugs and the owner running up to me with a shot in each hand (we took them together)* Bass player offered to join my band on the spot (I already have one ), the drummer did not (I need one!) isn't that always how it works!

Afterwards their was a flood of compliments and free everything. Simultaneously, during the high's, sometimes the lows come back. An overweight girl flirted with me a bit between the hotties, I flirted back (which I was doing with everyone, didn't want to leave her out!) but I was DEFINITELY not going to sleep with her but she then came on even stronger and was quite serious, fortunately I had one female friend with benefits already their who played "girlfriend" for a minute to let her down easy and then helped me with another fine young lady .

I felt REALLY bad cause I've been their. I don't want to outright shoot her down, cause believe me, I heard more variations of "you seem like a nice friend" in the first 10 seconds of meeting a woman then I care to admit when I was overweight, which feels almost like a "dance monkey but don't you dare think I could be attracted to you" statement to put it in blunt terms that I don't want to EVER put on someone.

So shooting the girl down outright puts me in the "dance monkey" behavior that I hated, on the other hand being playful risks them coming on even stronger. Some of the women were REALLY catty over my attention, and I just felt like they were going to say REALLY mean things towards the that woman. Women can get REAL mean when they want something. Fortunately my female friend came to the rescue. I need to find a subtle middle ground, need more points of reference/skills then I have cause that situation could REALLY have hurt that girl emotionally and I may not always have someone to bail me out. Hence my conflict.

 

[JakeF]

My wife lost a lot weight after a lifetime of being overweight. She still has trouble dealing with all the newfound attention. I think that inside, she still thinks of herself as obese, and can't savor the attention the same way a guy would(guys are pigs, you know...).

So enjoy, and don't worry about what others think. You deserve it.

Boy, I could go for some of that ladies undergarments flying around stuff.

Thanks, and yes, what your wife is going through sounds about the same as myself. I don't think I'm doing a good job of fully savoring the attention like most men would , additionally it is giving me a new perspective/sensitivity on the situation. Check my last two paragraphs in the post just above this one for an even better explanation of the problem which I never imagined.

I never feel like I deserve victory. So true.

My therapist is going to be getting one hell of an earful next week!

 

[Lilgray]

They are competing over my attention. Yet I remember pushing 260 lbs and being invisible, that sting of rejection. When they started competing, especially in such large numbers so outwardly, I knew someone, if not multiple people, were going to lose. I remember being fat, and how common/bad rejection felt. I don't want to put anyone through that, but they will experience it, it is the nature of the situation. I've got to hang out after/between sets, sell drinks (I know what I'm their for!) etc.

Jake - I mean this earnestly and not to be rude and I haven't read the rest of the thread yet but I need to say this, think of it as friendly womanly advice.

It isn't your responsibility to nurture and cultivate the egos of anyone else, much less the types of girls who are groupies. They are already damaged goods and that is why they are groupies, throwing themselves at a total stranger just because he was on a stage and somehow being with him means they are worth something. For that night, anyway. If they don't get you they will just move on to the next guy who gets up on the stage - it's not really about YOU - you are just a part of whatever thrill it is to go to a show, throw your panties on a stage and "catch" a man to pay attention to you for a few minutes. Not to sound overly harsh but is it hard to "win" a groupie if you're a front man? think about it.

I get it that you are reveling in this attention and it's new - so enjoy yourself and don't get any diseases or become somebody's baby daddy and catch up on sowing those oats you seem to think you've missed out on! These women are not YOU - you have a painful past with scars and you are projecting how you felt onto what you think they might be feeling. But I think what they feel is probably far too complex, twisted and messed up for most of us to understand. (I realize I say this from the perspective of a woman with a healthy self esteem who can't understand the appeal of letting a total stranger up in all if my wonderfulness just because he's cute and sang a song well. I mean, hello? Darlin' I am a prize and I don't give it away to just anyone!)

 

[grey area]

Jake - I mean this earnestly and not to be rude and I haven't read the rest of the thread yet but I need to say this, think of it as friendly womanly advice.

It isn't your responsibility to nurture and cultivate the egos of anyone else, much less the types of girls who are groupies. They are already damaged goods and that is why they are groupies, throwing themselves at a total stranger just because he was on a stage and somehow being with him means they are worth something. For that night, anyway. If they don't get you they will just move on to the next guy who gets up on the stage - it's not really about YOU - you are just a part of whatever thrill it is to go to a show, throw your panties on a stage and "catch" a man to pay attention to you for a few minutes. Not to sound overly harsh but is it hard to "win" a groupie if you're a front man? think about it.

I get it that you are reveling in this attention and it's new - so enjoy yourself and don't get any diseases or become somebody's baby daddy and catch up on sowing those oats you seem to think you've missed out on! These women are not YOU - you have a painful past with scars and you are projecting how you felt onto what you think they might be feeling. But I think what they feel is probably far too complex, twisted and messed up for most of us to understand. (I realize I say this from the perspective of a woman with a healthy self esteem who can't understand the appeal of letting a total stranger up in all if my wonderfulness just because he's cute and sang a song well. I mean, hello? Darlin' I am a prize and I don't give it away to just anyone!)

100%

 

[GlennW]

no pics, no flying panties

 

[Pacman]

Jake - I mean this earnestly and not to be rude and I haven't read the rest of the thread yet but I need to say this, think of it as friendly womanly advice.

It isn't your responsibility to nurture and cultivate the egos of anyone else, much less the types of girls who are groupies. They are already damaged goods and that is why they are groupies, throwing themselves at a total stranger just because he was on a stage and somehow being with him means they are worth something. For that night, anyway. If they don't get you they will just move on to the next guy who gets up on the stage - it's not really about YOU - you are just a part of whatever thrill it is to go to a show, throw your panties on a stage and "catch" a man to pay attention to you for a few minutes. Not to sound overly harsh but is it hard to "win" a groupie if you're a front man? think about it.

I get it that you are reveling in this attention and it's new - so enjoy yourself and don't get any diseases or become somebody's baby daddy and catch up on sowing those oats you seem to think you've missed out on! These women are not YOU - you have a painful past with scars and you are projecting how you felt onto what you think they might be feeling. But I think what they feel is probably far too complex, twisted and messed up for most of us to understand. (I realize I say this from the perspective of a woman with a healthy self esteem who can't understand the appeal of letting a total stranger up in all if my wonderfulness just because he's cute and sang a song well. I mean, hello? Darlin' I am a prize and I don't give it away to just anyone!)

Brilliantly put!

 

[Stewie26]

Jake - I mean this earnestly and not to be rude and I haven't read the rest of the thread yet but I need to say this, think of it as friendly womanly advice.

It isn't your responsibility to nurture and cultivate the egos of anyone else, much less the types of girls who are groupies. They are already damaged goods and that is why they are groupies, throwing themselves at a total stranger just because he was on a stage and somehow being with him means they are worth something. For that night, anyway. If they don't get you they will just move on to the next guy who gets up on the stage - it's not really about YOU - you are just a part of whatever thrill it is to go to a show, throw your panties on a stage and "catch" a man to pay attention to you for a few minutes. Not to sound overly harsh but is it hard to "win" a groupie if you're a front man? think about it.

I get it that you are reveling in this attention and it's new - so enjoy yourself and don't get any diseases or become somebody's baby daddy and catch up on sowing those oats you seem to think you've missed out on! These women are not YOU - you have a painful past with scars and you are projecting how you felt onto what you think they might be feeling. But I think what they feel is probably far too complex, twisted and messed up for most of us to understand. (I realize I say this from the perspective of a woman with a healthy self esteem who can't understand the appeal of letting a total stranger up in all if my wonderfulness just because he's cute and sang a song well. I mean, hello? Darlin' I am a prize and I don't give it away to just anyone!)

Well Put!

 

[Joe Louvar]

+4 ^^^

And beware of the cheating wife when her jealous husband comes looking for you.

 

[TigerInATrance]

Just remember... There doesn't need to be a competition or a winner. Everyone can be a winner. There should always be enough of you to go around.

 

[JakeF]

Jake - I mean this earnestly and not to be rude and I haven't read the rest of the thread yet but I need to say this, think of it as friendly womanly advice.

It isn't your responsibility to nurture and cultivate the egos of anyone else, much less the types of girls who are groupies. They are already damaged goods and that is why they are groupies, throwing themselves at a total stranger just because he was on a stage and somehow being with him means they are worth something. For that night, anyway. If they don't get you they will just move on to the next guy who gets up on the stage - it's not really about YOU - you are just a part of whatever thrill it is to go to a show, throw your panties on a stage and "catch" a man to pay attention to you for a few minutes. Not to sound overly harsh but is it hard to "win" a groupie if you're a front man? think about it.

I get it that you are reveling in this attention and it's new - so enjoy yourself and don't get any diseases or become somebody's baby daddy and catch up on sowing those oats you seem to think you've missed out on! These women are not YOU - you have a painful past with scars and you are projecting how you felt onto what you think they might be feeling. But I think what they feel is probably far too complex, twisted and messed up for most of us to understand. (I realize I say this from the perspective of a woman with a healthy self esteem who can't understand the appeal of letting a total stranger up in all if my wonderfulness just because he's cute and sang a song well. I mean, hello? Darlin' I am a prize and I don't give it away to just anyone!)

Thank you. That is much good experience to evaluate.

 

[Steve]

I got about past the first paragraph and all I could think about was The Quintar.

 

[Floyd Eye]

At a gig Saturday night I had a hot Mexican chick hit on me. Then during the 3rd set a chick comes up and asks me if we'll play Wonderful tonight. I explain to her that we are a hard rock/alternative band. She says she will show me her cans. I point at my wife across the room and say " My wife is right there, she will show me her ***s and I won't have to play Eric Clapton".

 

[glocke1]

Okay, I have 2 new acts where I'm moving to vocals and guitar , launching both in about two months. One act is classic rock (fun), the other is a pop dance oriented band with a very unique setlist/twist.

Anyway, I sat in with some friends at their gig by invitation to get a bit more comfortable singing while playing. Got them to play some fun dance songs and things lit up. Multiple flashers, multiple sets of underwear thrown, hard partying, and the venue owner offered to book my new band on the spot (got 2 months to get ready!). Quite the reaction for only a half-dozen songs finishing off their second set. (The singer in their band now refuses to let me sit in at their next gig, he had a sly smile when I asked about it, with the classic "yeah, I don't think that's gonna work" [Of which their drummer replied with a loud "COME ON MAN!!!, just one more show with him!" )

After getting off-stage it was fun watching the women start REALLY competing for my attention . This was a way more intense response than I have ever seen, really feeling the rock star power/vibe. I have had groupies before but this was somehow different, watching them begin such extremely overt competition for me. I had fun with this and my female friend I was with decided to invite one of the girls back with us .

A very good night indeed .

My main problem is this situation seems volatile, kinda easy to anger someone. How do you deal with it? The men wanting the women's attention/jealousy are not so much of a problem, I have plenty of backup with band members, bar staff and friends etc., but the women... I mainly let the women kinda compete with each other, which really brought out the one upping, by my doing nothing! Simultaneously, I don't want to anger the ladies, I want them to come back for the next(my) show!

What do I do (Other than keep my cell phone locked to "video" mode, and YES I am looking into some type of livecasting/recording/video rig )?

I need a way to navigate this awesome, yet volatile situation. I have lost over 100 pounds since I got past a depressive episode a couple years ago. I've leaned down, expanded my musicianship and had a fundamental change in myself emotionally and even my attitude towards music. I have the maturity to know that this sort of experience would have destroyed me when I was younger figuring things out. Now I am ready, but I feel like a fish out of water, I need strategies and other people's experience.

They are competing over my attention. Yet I remember pushing 260 lbs and being invisible, that sting of rejection. When they started competing, especially in such large numbers so outwardly, I knew someone, if not multiple people, were going to lose. I remember being fat, and how common/bad rejection felt. I don't want to put anyone through that, but they will experience it, it is the nature of the situation. I've got to hang out after/between sets, sell drinks (I know what I'm their for!) etc.

While the situation worked out really well this time I feel like I'm in a minefield. Rereading what I wrote it is wild to see the change in tone and experience throughout this post, which is kinda a good example of that night in a nutshell.

Not really sure what the problem is...

My advice though is to have fun, just don't get into a LTR with someone you met in a bar while playing in a band...

 

[xgator4u]

I got about past the first paragraph and all I could think about was The Quintar.

LMAO..... Yup, I forgot about the Quintar.

 

[Jack Butler]

Jake - I mean this earnestly and not to be rude and I haven't read the rest of the thread yet but I need to say this, think of it as friendly womanly advice.

It isn't your responsibility to nurture and cultivate the egos of anyone else, much less the types of girls who are groupies. They are already damaged goods and that is why they are groupies, throwing themselves at a total stranger just because he was on a stage and somehow being with him means they are worth something. For that night, anyway. If they don't get you they will just move on to the next guy who gets up on the stage - it's not really about YOU - you are just a part of whatever thrill it is to go to a show, throw your panties on a stage and "catch" a man to pay attention to you for a few minutes. Not to sound overly harsh but is it hard to "win" a groupie if you're a front man? think about it.

I get it that you are reveling in this attention and it's new - so enjoy yourself and don't get any diseases or become somebody's baby daddy and catch up on sowing those oats you seem to think you've missed out on! These women are not YOU - you have a painful past with scars and you are projecting how you felt onto what you think they might be feeling. But I think what they feel is probably far too complex, twisted and messed up for most of us to understand. (I realize I say this from the perspective of a woman with a healthy self esteem who can't understand the appeal of letting a total stranger up in all if my wonderfulness just because he's cute and sang a song well. I mean, hello? Darlin' I am a prize and I don't give it away to just anyone!)

Eloquently put - I'm continually amazed at how a woman's view puts things in a whole new perspective. You'd think after 40+ years on this planet it wouldn't surprise me anymore.

 

[bassbully]

Hummm.......lost 100lbs and your damn sexy ehhh?

 

[bubinga6]

Am I right in assuming this isn't a Church band?

 

[Mystic Michael]

Jake, it's all a big game. It's not real. It's just a bunch of people playing roles - that's all.

Either play the game all the way - which ultimately means willingly using other people, and allowing yourself to be used by other people - or don't play it at all. Personally, I would opt for the latter course. But I already knew I would be outnumbered on this thread - as on any TalkBass thread - by those of the "take what you can get and don't worry about it" persuasion. What else is new?

IMO, it is in scenarios just such as this that men really need to think & behave more like women - at least like non-groupie women. Be much more discriminating. Take your own virtue and your own self-respect a lot more seriously. Don't go whoring around with strangers - merely because you can.

The reason why women can so easily manipulate men into doing their bidding merely by flashing a bit of T&A (to say nothing of using sex as a bargaining tool), is because the men allow them to get away with it - because the men have no self-control, and they can't think any farther than the tips of their schlongs.

The ladies may enjoy your attentions all right. But do you think they actually respect you? Think again...

MM

 

[MartinG1957]

Jake, I'd think seriously about what both MysticMichael and the very eloquent and perceptive Lilgray offered..... Good advice.