Of Groupies and Flashers?

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by JakeF, Jul 11, 2013.

  1. JakeF


    Apr 3, 2012
    Okay, I have 2 new acts where I'm moving to vocals and guitar , launching both in about two months. One act is classic rock (fun), the other is a pop dance oriented band with a very unique setlist/twist.

    Anyway, I sat in with some friends at their gig by invitation to get a bit more comfortable singing while playing. Got them to play some fun dance songs and things lit up. Multiple flashers, multiple sets of underwear thrown, hard partying, and the venue owner offered to book my new band on the spot (got 2 months to get ready!). Quite the reaction for only a half-dozen songs finishing off their second set. (The singer in their band now refuses to let me sit in at their next gig, he had a sly smile when I asked about it, with the classic "yeah, I don't think that's gonna work" [Of which their drummer replied with a loud "COME ON MAN!!!, just one more show with him!" :))

    After getting off-stage it was fun watching the women start REALLY competing for my attention :). This was a way more intense response than I have ever seen, really feeling the rock star power/vibe. I have had groupies before but this was somehow different, watching them begin such extremely overt competition for me. I had fun with this and my female friend I was with decided to invite one of the girls back with us :).

    A very good night indeed ;).

    My main problem is this situation seems volatile, kinda easy to anger someone. How do you deal with it? The men wanting the women's attention/jealousy are not so much of a problem, I have plenty of backup with band members, bar staff and friends etc., but the women... I mainly let the women kinda compete with each other, which really brought out the one upping, by my doing nothing! Simultaneously, I don't want to anger the ladies, I want them to come back for the next(my) show!

    What do I do (Other than keep my cell phone locked to "video" mode, and YES I am looking into some type of livecasting/recording/video rig :))?

    I need a way to navigate this awesome, yet volatile situation. I have lost over 100 pounds since I got past a depressive episode a couple years ago. I've leaned down, expanded my musicianship and had a fundamental change in myself emotionally and even my attitude towards music. I have the maturity to know that this sort of experience would have destroyed me when I was younger figuring things out. Now I am ready, but I feel like a fish out of water, I need strategies and other people's experience.

    They are competing over my attention. Yet I remember pushing 260 lbs and being invisible, that sting of rejection. When they started competing, especially in such large numbers so outwardly, I knew someone, if not multiple people, were going to lose. I remember being fat, and how common/bad rejection felt. I don't want to put anyone through that, but they will experience it, it is the nature of the situation. I've got to hang out after/between sets, sell drinks (I know what I'm their for!) etc.

    While the situation worked out really well this time I feel like I'm in a minefield. Rereading what I wrote it is wild to see the change in tone and experience throughout this post, which is kinda a good example of that night in a nutshell.
  2. Ukiah Bass

    Ukiah Bass

    May 10, 2006
    Heck, bro, it almost sounds like you're braggin'!! :)
    SirMjac28 likes this.
  3. JakeF


    Apr 3, 2012
    Lol! I TOTALLY AM!

    Simultaneously, I know their are pitfalls here, which is why I got so serious in the last couple of paragraphs. I have spun of my wheels before a couple times in my life, and I bet a few members here have too. Really do need to know a method of dealing with this for the best outcome. (Won't deny it is an AWESOME situation, no guarantee it will happen again though).
  4. grey area

    grey area

    Sep 2, 2009
    almeria spain
    a mate of mine has a t shirt with a pipe smoking chap saying SORRY GIRLS I'M GAY written on it. he is a huge guy , full of tats, shaved head and straggly goatee so he gets little trouble from the guys but the chicks are all over him. and nobody believes for a second that he is gay ( he aint) but the shirt seems to placate the guys. we are just waiting to see what happens if he gets some attention from the same sex.he has a great humour and will deal with it in a funny way for sure.
    you can get the shirts on the web
  5. I'm sorry to say it, but it sounds to me like you still have some self-confidence issues. If you didn't, you wouldn't have needed to post this. I can't see what your describing as a problem at all, which means you seem to be looking for the "way to go dude, you da man!" kind of feedback. If all this is true, just relax and enjoy the ride! It won't last forever.
  6. Spiffmeister

    Spiffmeister Meister of the Spiffs

    Apr 26, 2012
  7. Freez


    Nov 8, 2008
    Douche is not a state.

    It is behavior.

    We simply associate certain objects/dressware/whatever with douchey behavior.

    The is the path, the way, the understanding, the Zen of douche.
    D.A.R.K. likes this.
  8. mbelue


    Dec 11, 2010
    Sometimes that happens cause you rock, sometimes you just stumble on a bachelorette party and it would have happened to anyone. Don't let it go to your head till you can make it happen again.
  9. JakeF


    Apr 3, 2012
    Yeah. They weight loss and gain in the last couple of paragraphs outlines a great deal of my insecurities. The change has been dramatic. This is one reason the experience is so alien.

    Oh yeah. GO ME!!!
  10. If this is really how it went down, in all seriousness you should try to repeat this scenario as often as possible and let the chips fall where they may. No matter who you are this will not last at this level(if it ever even happens again!). Enjoy the ride as long as it lasts and you'll have some good stories to tell.
  11. rollyolly

    rollyolly Supporting Member

    Nov 10, 2011
    Well, if you get tired of all the action you could switch back to bass, wear your strap as high as possible, lose the stage presence,and all female attention will instantly cease.
    SirMjac28 likes this.
  12. Slough Feg Bass

    Slough Feg Bass Supporting Member

    Sep 28, 2007
    San Francisco
    from my experience, I'd stay in the backstage room until stage time, to build anticipation.
    play the raging stage show, go back, clean up, and when YOU are ready, go into the bar area and pick up some ladies.
    Do it on your terms, or they get all stupid and catty.
  13. MCB 5150

    MCB 5150 Supporting Member

    Nov 21, 2008
    Rockford, IL
    What were the "fun dance songs" that made the ladies dispose of their undergarments?
    Stewie26 likes this.
  14. hypapanuse

    hypapanuse Inactive

    Apr 2, 2013
  15. Alcohol makes people do stupid things. don't let it go to your head. Whoops. Too late...
  16. No pics. = No flasher/groupies.
  17. :meh: Hmm, does this belong in the joke/humor forum? :confused:
  18. Vanceman


    Feb 14, 2007
    So. Cal.
    My wife lost a lot weight after a lifetime of being overweight. She still has trouble dealing with all the newfound attention. I think that inside, she still thinks of herself as obese, and can't savor the attention the same way a guy would(guys are pigs, you know...).

    So enjoy, and don't worry about what others think. You deserve it.

    Boy, I could go for some of that ladies undergarments flying around stuff.
  19. Johnny Crab

    Johnny Crab HELIX user & BOSE Abuser

    Feb 11, 2004
    Seen many similar and more bizarre nights in the "spandex and long hair" daze of the 70's and 80's(pre-AIDS). This too will pass. Enjoy it while you can, don't let it make yer hat size too big, and avoid the Fatal Attraction ones. After a while, you may even call 'em Gropies like one band and crew did.
  20. Hobobob

    Hobobob Don't feed the troll, folks.

    Jan 25, 2011
    Colorado Springs, CO
    This isn't even subtle enough for a Fassa thread.