Okay, I have 2 new acts where I'm moving to vocals and guitar , launching both in about two months. One act is classic rock (fun), the other is a pop dance oriented band with a very unique setlist/twist. Anyway, I sat in with some friends at their gig by invitation to get a bit more comfortable singing while playing. Got them to play some fun dance songs and things lit up. Multiple flashers, multiple sets of underwear thrown, hard partying, and the venue owner offered to book my new band on the spot (got 2 months to get ready!). Quite the reaction for only a half-dozen songs finishing off their second set. (The singer in their band now refuses to let me sit in at their next gig, he had a sly smile when I asked about it, with the classic "yeah, I don't think that's gonna work" [Of which their drummer replied with a loud "COME ON MAN!!!, just one more show with him!" ) After getting off-stage it was fun watching the women start REALLY competing for my attention . This was a way more intense response than I have ever seen, really feeling the rock star power/vibe. I have had groupies before but this was somehow different, watching them begin such extremely overt competition for me. I had fun with this and my female friend I was with decided to invite one of the girls back with us . A very good night indeed . My main problem is this situation seems volatile, kinda easy to anger someone. How do you deal with it? The men wanting the women's attention/jealousy are not so much of a problem, I have plenty of backup with band members, bar staff and friends etc., but the women... I mainly let the women kinda compete with each other, which really brought out the one upping, by my doing nothing! Simultaneously, I don't want to anger the ladies, I want them to come back for the next(my) show! What do I do (Other than keep my cell phone locked to "video" mode, and YES I am looking into some type of livecasting/recording/video rig )? I need a way to navigate this awesome, yet volatile situation. I have lost over 100 pounds since I got past a depressive episode a couple years ago. I've leaned down, expanded my musicianship and had a fundamental change in myself emotionally and even my attitude towards music. I have the maturity to know that this sort of experience would have destroyed me when I was younger figuring things out. Now I am ready, but I feel like a fish out of water, I need strategies and other people's experience. They are competing over my attention. Yet I remember pushing 260 lbs and being invisible, that sting of rejection. When they started competing, especially in such large numbers so outwardly, I knew someone, if not multiple people, were going to lose. I remember being fat, and how common/bad rejection felt. I don't want to put anyone through that, but they will experience it, it is the nature of the situation. I've got to hang out after/between sets, sell drinks (I know what I'm their for!) etc. While the situation worked out really well this time I feel like I'm in a minefield. Rereading what I wrote it is wild to see the change in tone and experience throughout this post, which is kinda a good example of that night in a nutshell.