My typical gig does have full PA support and it's usually very good PA. But I do only mic my stuff when I can get away with it. I don't object to the DI, but I make it known that I'd rather they concentrate on the mic sound and only use DI to fill in the cracks. However, depending on who I'm playing with and time constraints, I can be talked into going fully DI. Did it last week, as a matter of fact.So I take it then that your typical gig doesn't have full PA support, or, you only mic your stuff, you don't use the DI?
Otherwise, for gigs with full PA support, your stage sound has absolutely nothing to do with what the crowd hears... or at least it shouldn't. Your stage rig is strictly for stage monitoring, and that's all. It should not be heard over FOH, because that would handcuff your production folks' ability to do their job, and to the best job for the band overall.
But I really don't see what the big deal is about a little bleed. Yeah, in a perfect world, that would be the case, but I have to hear my amp, too. And it's not like I'm a huge volume freak. So if the first couple rows can hear it, I say big deal. Most PA's I use will drown the worst of it out, anyway.
