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over-sensi-sensitivity

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#121
It's not small towns being insular, it's money. I've lived in small towns, nice suburbs and very poor urban areas in three different states in my time. It doesn't matter if you're living in a run down apartment in East St Louis or a beat up trailer on a gravel road in Dixon, Mo. Your access to good education is limited and your access to available money is limited, and it breeds resentment and envy. Doesn't matter the person where I now live in West County. All the schools rock, the jobs are here, and the Costco is packed every day with happy whites, blacks, Indians ,Asians, and so on. Discussions of a solution would get political, but the root cause is money and education, IMO. Insular behavior goes away. When jobs come in they bring qualified people of all races. When your kids get to go to college they meet people of all races. Again, JMO.
 
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#122
P-oddz said:
The onus shouldn't be on the offended, but the offender. If a woman says that she doesn't want to be called a "girl", accept her point of view, consider it, and be a little introspective. Don't try to justify your own world view to make you feel better (my wife says "the girls are going out tonight" so I think it's fine"). It didn't make that first woman's opinion any less valid. If someone tells you that your language is offensive, maybe think about it for a minute instead of denying someone elses experience.
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That could be accepted 100% and still the point is that finding ourselves offended does not give us any rights. It just means our feelings are hurt. Nothing happens. It does not give us the right to shut anyone else up. The only right we have is to disassociate ourselves with their company.
 
#123
bholder said:
My ex told me I'm both insensitive and overly sensistive. Wow.
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Sounds like you have some mansplaining to do.

This is what slays me about the entire issue. As long as you are in a class that SOMEONE has identified as privileged, it's ok for them to denigrate that class and further, paint it as a conspiracy. Spreading education and changing hearts and minds is one thing, but the groups that hurl accusations at classes they have identified as privileged are so very militant that they incite hate on both sides.

Not very a helpful or intelligent strategy IMO.

Psst, the secret meeting of bassists to overthrow the guitarists is on for tonight at 10.32. Pass it on. Nudge nudge wink wink.
 
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#124
yodedude2 said:
mr. ghost, you can categorize me all you like. it reinforces my point about tribalism. but it seems that you are less familiar with the folks living east of the rockies and south of the mason-dixon line than i. the pockets here are places like austin--cities like that are the anomalies.

edit: the above may be perceived as condescending or snarky; i don't mean it in that way. just sharing my thoughts based on my personal experiences and observations.
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Characterize?

That's not my bag. Equal snark though, yeah.

Having grown up an Army brat, and then, having been in the Army myself, I'm pretty sure my state ( and country ) living count is better than the average American. I feel this gives me room to comment on what I have, personally, seen and been exposed to. This is aside from the folks we interact with day in and day out which also counts, obviously.

A short list:

Early Childhood Ridley Park PA.
Aberdeen Md.
Lawton Ok.
Sacramento Ca
El Paso Tx
Killeen Tx
Katy Tx
Kaiserslautern
Heidleberg


I will leave with this observation. My comments on this subtext of this thread have been consistent and I have been transparent. If I were looking to characterize, I would note that your comments have slowly changed. I'm not sure I would go so far as to say that they are baiting, but it is headed that direction clearly. The barb wasn't a bloodletting, but it was signs of intention. I'm all about civil discussion, just be mindful we are judged by our comments, and our history of comments whether we wish to be characterized or not.
 
#127
joeaba said:
That's good. Really no good reason to be offended. Some would take offense to being deemed arrogant. There's much irony to be found in this thread. Sensitivities abound.
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I was reflecting on this today for no apparent reason, and something occurred to me. The response that @blastoff99 made to mine was "This seems like an arrogant thing to say." It was referring to what I said (or typed, in this case). Later, when you referenced it, you wrote, "...Now they're offended for being called arrogant...". I read this to mean that you thought the word arrogant was being applied to me as a person.

I suppose that @blastoff99 's comment could be seen as being a personal attack, or it could be non-personal and just about what I posted. I cannot say what @blastoff99 intended, but I didn't take it personally.

I doubt that all hyper-sensitivity is directly related to taking general comments personally, but I also suspect that taking things personally plays a role in the hypersensitivity that is being referenced in this thread in many cases. Just something that came to mind.

I'll leave it at that, because I'm about to get political... :)
 
#128
Probably worth it to start out with the original comment that I commented on, way back on page 3:

INTP said:
When I hear someone claiming to be offended, I often see someone that would rather be a victim than be happy.
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INTP said:
I was reflecting on this today for no apparent reason, and something occurred to me. The response that @blastoff99 made to mine was "This seems like an arrogant thing to say." It was referring to what I said (or typed, in this case). Later, when you referenced it, you wrote, "...Now they're offended for being called arrogant...". I read this to mean that you thought the word arrogant was being applied to me as a person.

I suppose that @blastoff99 's comment could be seen as being a personal attack, or it could be non-personal and just about what I posted. I cannot say what @blastoff99 intended, but I didn't take it personally.

I doubt that all hyper-sensitivity is directly related to taking general comments personally, but I also suspect that taking things personally plays a role in the hypersensitivity that is being referenced in this thread in many cases. Just something that came to mind.

I'll leave it at that, because I'm about to get political... :)
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I'm glad you took it as neither personal nor as an attack, because I worded it so that (hopefully) you wouldn't. You quote me correctly above; I did NOT say 'You arrogant SOB; how dare you whatever,' or even 'That's an arrogant thing to say,' which more or less implies 'You're an arrogant person for saying it.'

I don't know you. For all I know, you might be an arrogant SOB who goes around saying arrogant things. Or you might be a person with a big mouth who doesn't think, or that might be your sincerely-held belief and you didn't consider that it might sound - or be - arrogant, or maybe you were intending to sound arrogant just to get a rise out of someone.

Or... maybe it just sounded arrogant to my ears, because of the recent incident with Plumber #5 (see some other thread) and I'm a bit twitchy about anybody who appears to come close to anything I could possibly construe as telling me I shouldn't be offended when people are jerks to me.

I don't know where anybody else is coming from. I don't know their motives. Heck, some days I don't even know where *I* am coming from!
 
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#129
Oversensitivity is usually due to a perception by the dominant group (or society) that lacks empathy for the perception of the one being labeled as overly sensitive. People regularly say that Native-Americans who are against Native-American images being used as mascots and logos are overly sensitive. Yet, when an African-American wore a baseball jersey with the name "Caucasians" on the front, he was labeled a racist. Irony, and lack of empathy, in action.
 
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#130
blastoff99 said:
Or... maybe it just sounded arrogant to my ears, because of the recent incident with Plumber #5 (see some other thread) and I'm a bit twitchy about anybody who appears to come close to anything I could possibly construe as telling me I shouldn't be offended when people are jerks to me.

I don't know where anybody else is coming from. I don't know their motives. Heck, some days I don't even know where *I* am coming from!
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I think you do have a bit of insight about where you're coming from. ;)

I mentioned being primed about a dynamic myself, but as you correctly point out, mine isn't the only POV.
 
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#131
mellowinman said:
I didn't miss your point. I just didn't think it was very important in the overall context of the discussion. And you can "take Brooks" all you want. I have given compelling evidence for my argument. Maybe he would have a HARD TIME getting Blazing Saddles made, using the network he normally uses, but you can't be seriously taking the position that the film Blazing Saddles COULD NOT BE MADE TODAY. You aren't, are you? NO STUDIO would allow its release? It just COULDN'T be done? Man, that's crazy talk.
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What makes your POV so right....?
Everyone has an opinion.
My opinion is....never mind... ok.... get a haircut.
 
#135
It's not small towns being insular, it's money. I've lived in small towns, nice suburbs and very poor urban areas in three different states in my time. It doesn't matter if you're living in a run down apartment in East St Louis or a beat up trailer on a gravel road in Dixon, Mo. Your access to good education is limited and your access to available money is limited, and it breeds resentment and envy. Doesn't matter the person where I now live in West County. All the schools rock, the jobs are here, and the Costco is packed every day with happy whites, blacks, Indians ,Asians, and so on. Discussions of a solution would get political, but the root cause is money and education, IMO. Insular behavior goes away. When jobs come in they bring qualified people of all races. When your kids get to go to college they meet people of all races. Again, JMO.
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This has been my experience in rural areas also. There is a lack of opportunity and a lack of exposure. Prejudice is born of ignorance. I also think that many of the social issues found in urban areas exist in poor rural areas, but they are less noticed and less covered by the media. I lived in an isolated rural area in upstate NY, and drugs, domestic violence, alcoholism, and crime were common. Drug abuse (e.g. heroin) has exploded in those areas in the past decade. The employment base in many rural areas has been lost (farming, mining, manufacturing) and people turn to things that are not good but it is done out of desperation. There is also the factor of people losing their community - when employment leave, the young people leave, schools close and other social institutions fade away. It is sad what is happening, and people don't know what to do about it, so they lash out.
What is ironic to me about this is that these rural problems mirror some of what happens in impoverished urban areas. In some ways, folks in both types of places are rather similar in the issues they face. It is very unfortunate that we have not learned to overcome fear and suspicion to recognize our common humanity.
 
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