Parents with screaming kids...

[scorpionldr]

Not really - what it usually boils down to in threads like this is that different approaches to parenting are thrown around as though one is better than another to get the kid to stop screaming.
There's the reactionary approach: smack the kid across the chops and the proactive approach: show the kid from the get-go that such behavior doesn't work and you wont have to smack the kid across the chops. The fact is that there's a tidbit of truth all around which is why these threads always seem to get so active.
The next standard pattern will be to ask who here has kids and who does not lol, never fails.

Relic: I TOOK THE ACTION THAT WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR ME.

IF HOW THE CONFLICT IS HANDLED DOES NOT RESOLVE, THAT'S NOT RESPONSIBLE CHILD-RAISING. THE FACT THAT THE CHILD IS FED/NURTURED IS IRRELEVANT.
The WHOOOOOLE summer I got to sit around listening to broken men talk about how hard life was/how life was simply the bills/how they have to take care of their kids/having to go to work. Yes, that is parenting. But we are talking DISCIPLINING. Something applicable from ANYONE to ANYONE. There are ALL SORTS of disciplining environments where development takes place. You join an ensemble, like a marching band: what is their disciplining? Ensuring that for a marching band standard that you are the utmost of behaved. There are ALL SORTS of disciplining environments where development takes place. But the parenting discipline is the BASIS. THE FUNDAMENTAL BUILDING BLOCK. THEREFORE making it the most important to be emphasized more than ANYTHING ELSE.

REACTIVE APPROACH COMES FIRST. PROACTIVE IS AVAILABLE WHEN THE CHILD IS ABLE TO RATIONALIZE BEHAVIOR.

 

[Baryonyx]

Perhaps your disdain for children is just symptomatic of your larger disdain fort he species. A lonely cabin in the woods awaits you.

There is no need to be so melodromatic. What about parents who have great kids who are well behaved? Do you think they would enjoy a bus ride with a screaming child while the parent looks on?

 

[hover]

What makes you so special that you shouldn't have to tolerate the rest of humanity?

People big and small occasionally suck. Sometimes this happens in public. Your lack of empathy causes me to think that you may be the selfish one here.

Choosing not to have a child does not mean that you won't occasionally have to deal with one any more than choosing not to own a bird will keep your car from getting pooped on. Perhaps your disdain for children is just symptomatic of your larger disdain for the species. A lonely cabin in the woods awaits you.

Amen. Couldn't be said better. Often it's the people with such utter disdain for children that were probably really terrible children in their own right...how soon they forget that though. Bitter bitter bitter.

 

[tZer]

There is no need to be so melodromatic. What about parents who have great kids who are well behaved? Do you think they would enjoy a bus ride with a screaming child while the parent looks on?

+1 Chris2112.

And what about parents who have children who are typically well behaved but for some reason are having one of those days where they are acting out? Sometimes even really good children of really good parents have these moments. That's life.



These threads are more an example of how poorly equipped some adults are to actually deal with life in a mature fashion - not about rotten, poorly trained children or inept parents. Expecting kids to behave perfectly for your sanity is egocentric and selfish. Assuming their parents are doing a rotten job because they don't seem to be reacting in a way that you find fitting is equally arrogant and egocentric.

Again - get over yourselves. Until you have walked in their shoes, assume that you don't understand fully what's going on and dig down deep into that black soul of yours and find an iota of tolerance and patience and use it. Kids are always going to scream at inappropriate times. Beating them to shut them up is the act of a brute - period. Kids are growing and life is very overwhelming to them sometimes. Sometimes they cannot deal with it and unfortunately for you, their way to express themselves is sometimes loud and unpleasant.

They're kids - that's the way they're made. What's your excuse?

 

[PSPookie]

There is no need to be so melodromatic. What about parents who have great kids who are well behaved? Do you think they would enjoy a bus ride with a screaming child while the parent looks on?

You have a point. But what about parents with great kids who are well behaved who just happen to have a meltdown in the middle of a bus ride?

Nobody enjoys being stuck with a screaming kid, but sometimes there's nothing to be done about it. Is the screaming kid any worse than the guy with gas (not the bass kind) or Tourette Syndrome? It's just people being people and if you ride public transportaion (or just go out in public) you're going to have to deal with it from time to time.

 

[Relic]

Relic: I TOOK THE ACTION THAT WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR ME.

IF HOW THE CONFLICT IS HANDLED DOES NOT RESOLVE, THAT'S NOT RESPONSIBLE CHILD-RAISING. THE FACT THAT THE CHILD IS FED/NURTURED IS IRRELEVANT.
The WHOOOOOLE summer I got to sit around listening to broken men talk about how hard life was/how life was simply the bills/how they have to take care of their kids/having to go to work. Yes, that is parenting. But we are talking DISCIPLINING. Something applicable from ANYONE to ANYONE. You join an ensemble, like a marching band: what is their disciplining? Ensuring that for a marching band standard that you are the utmost of behaved. There are ALL SORTS of disciplining environments where development takes place. But the parenting discipline is the BASIS. THE FUNDAMENTAL BUILDING BLOCK. THEREFORE making it the most important to be emphasized more than ANYTHING ELSE.

REACTIVE APPROACH COMES FIRST. PROACTIVE IS AVAILABLE WHEN THE CHILD IS ABLE TO RATIONALIZE BEHAVIOR.

Sorry but I disagree. (I think..., I'm not 100% sure that I understand your post) I have two areas of personal experience to draw upon - my own childhood and upbringing, as well as raising my own kids and learning through trial and error what works and what does not.
What I have learned is this:
parenting and disciplining go hand in hand and are inseparable. Starting early, and instilling discipline and confidence at a young age will more often then not allow you to largely avoid a heavy-handed approach later. And in the instances where a heavy-handed approach is required, it will be infinitely more effective at that stage of the game. I said it several times already but I'll say it again - parenting requires a toolbox and not a tool. What I mean is that as a parent you need to start early, and use whatever tools are at your disposal to discipline your kid. If all you do is smack a kid for every single issue, then you've failed that kid utterly. You need to take away toys or priveledges, use time outs, you DO need the ocassional slap on the @$$, and you need to praise them when they do something right, reward good behavior - a whole box full of tools.

 

[Relic]

There is no need to be so melodromatic. What about parents who have great kids who are well behaved? Do you think they would enjoy a bus ride with a screaming child while the parent looks on?

True that, but it depends. As a parent I can usually recognize the parent who is simply not giving in to the child's behavior from the one that just doesn't give a crap. In the case of the latter, I'm 100% on board with the OP, albiet for different reasons, but there nonetheless.

 

[Atshen]

Just two thoughts that occured to me while reading this thread:

First, living in a society involves tolerance and adjustments. You can't live in a society and expect everyone to act like you intend, at all times. If you seek peace of mind, stay home and relax, and don't use public transportation.

Second, slapping a young children in the face or smacking him/her upside the cranium is just wrong, excuse me. Anyone inflicting that kind of correction is severly sick.

 

[XtreO]

I tolerate them. My acceptance of them is something completely different.

 

[tZer]

I tolerate them. My acceptance of them is something completely different.

Not sure I follow... What do you mean?

 

[51m0n]

For all those advocating violence towards their kids, what would you do if you found out someone else had stepped in and 'punished' your child by hitting them in the face?

So how then is it possible that that behaviour is OK from a childs parent?

 

[XtreO]

Not sure I follow... What do you mean?

I deal with them, though I do not like it.

 

[MatticusMania]

But why do they have the right to inflict that on other people, who may have chosen not to be parents..?

To me it's selfishness...?

Because the OP made the descision to use public transportation.

 

[MakiSupaStar]

As a parent this is why I drug my kid. That big old syringe comes in handy sometimes.

 

[tZer]

I deal with them, though I do not like it.

Understood. Civilized people should be able to tolerate a certain amount of unwanted nonsense. No one has to enjoy it - if they did enjoy such things that'd be equally disturbing.

I believe that those who are so quick to judge others based on these things are more than likely pretty obnoxious in general. The fact that little things like this can put them off their feed so easily is probably indicative of their dissatisfaction with life in general.

Even if every parent were able to guarantee their child would behave like little angels 100% of the time and they were never again subjected to the odd, unwanted and spontaneous public tantrum, there'd certainly be something else that equally got under their skin.

 

[MatticusMania]

"orgasming in public": wailing at the top of lungs incessantly, no cease in volume, no notable sign of any parent making the appropriate corrections to the behavior exhibited.

To equate orgasming with a child wailing clearly indicates that you have one effed up sex life.

 

[MatticusMania]

Seriously, you must not be well adjusted to society if you have not yet learned the ability to tune unwanted noise out.
Hey, I dont like the sound of fire truck sirens blaring down my street while Im trying to sleep. The fire department should have more consideration for those of us trying to sleep.

 

[EricF]

If the child is brought up in the right way, then this shouldn't happen in the first place. I can remember at 4 I NEVER once screamed in a public place for sweets/toys/etc. If I had I would have been told off BIGTIME...

Congratulations for being a well-behaved child. I have a daughter like that, as well. I also have a daughter who has run my wife and I to the end of our rope with her resistance to discipline of ANY kind. Kids are not all wired the same - as I have found out all to clearly for myself. What worked as effective discipline for my older daughter has zero effect with my younger one. In fact, most attempts to discipline with "normal" techniques usually push her deeper into a rage, somtimes to the point of violence towards us (it's freakin' scary). My point is, discipline that worked for one child isn't necessarily universal.

And what about parents who have children who are typically well behaved but for some reason are having one of those days where they are acting out? Sometimes even really good children of really good parents have these moments. That's life.

These threads are more an example of how poorly equipped some adults are to actually deal with life in a mature fashion - not about rotten, poorly trained children or inept parents. Expecting kids to behave perfectly for your sanity is egocentric and selfish. Assuming their parents are doing a rotten job because they don't seem to be reacting in a way that you find fitting is equally arrogant and egocentric.

Again - get over yourselves. Until you have walked in their shoes, assume that you don't understand fully what's going on and dig down deep into that black soul of yours and find an iota of tolerance and patience and use it. Kids are always going to scream at inappropriate times. Beating them to shut them up is the act of a brute - period. Kids are growing and life is very overwhelming to them sometimes. Sometimes they cannot deal with it and unfortunately for you, their way to express themselves is sometimes loud and unpleasant.

They're kids - that's the way they're made. What's your excuse?

+1...LOL

Sorry but I disagree. (I think..., I'm not 100% sure that I understand your post) I have two areas of personal experience to draw upon - my own childhood and upbringing, as well as raising my own kids and learning through trial and error what works and what does not.
What I have learned is this:
parenting and disciplining go hand in hand and are inseparable. Starting early, and instilling discipline and confidence at a young age will more often then not allow you to largely avoid a heavy-handed approach later. And in the instances where a heavy-handed approach is required, it will be infinitely more effective at that stage of the game. I said it several times already but I'll say it again - parenting requires a toolbox and not a tool. What I mean is that as a parent you need to start early, and use whatever tools are at your disposal to discipline your kid. If all you do is smack a kid for every single issue, then you've failed that kid utterly. You need to take away toys or priveledges, use time outs, you DO need the ocassional slap on the @$$, and you need to praise them when they do something right, reward good behavior - a whole box full of tools.

+1...and sometimes, a box full of tools still isn't enough.

 

[Relic]

anyone else here enjoying the irony of this thread?
A parent has no consideration for others if their kid is noisy, but it's apparently not the case if someone can't accept that sometimes kids ARE just noisy? Consideration only works in one direction apparently? Hmm.

 

[ahkiatt]

I always knew from a young age that there would always be consequences for my actions. It would only be a matter of who's dealing with me. Parents or the police. A verbal warning meant that I've done something wrong and a spank on my bum bums meant that I have done something very serious. Throwing a tantrum and trying to get more attention and sympathy from members of the public only meant my day out would be shortened. When I'm at home, my parents would then explain to me the rationale behind why being a brat in public is not excusable. And more often than not, I'd understand what they were trying to say.

I understand that there are children with medical conditions that result in them being almost impossible to reason with, but most kids just need a good figure of authority to knock some sense into them. I feel that fear is underrated. My dad feared my grandpa whenever he came home and unleashed his leather belt. But what the hey, he turned out fine, like all the other kids in the family of his generation.

I am only 18, but I have shut quite a few of those little tyrants up myself, even with their parents around. The "If you do not quieten down, I'm going to call the police to arrest you" technique always works like a charm.