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Parents with screaming kids...
- Thread starter Stanley Design
- Start date
Touche'!
However...
One side of the coin has a single player - the individual who clearly has only him/herself to contend with while the other side has an adult who not only has to do exactly the same as individual #1 - and contend with themselves, but they also have the irrational, unpredictable and sometimes unruly chaos factor called a child in the mix.
All things being equal - they're not in this equation. Me expecting that you, a person who has nothing more than himself and his own emotional condition to deal with do so vs. you expecting me to be able to not only to do that, but to also successfully mitigate, moderate and negotiate the every unpredictable circumstances that can unexpectedly confront a parent toting a child through this world of chaos and madness just to make your life easier is a little unfair.
Believe me - no parent wants to be subjected to that noise either. The BIG difference here is that you can get off the bus and leave the child behind.
Consider your thrust parried!
Touche'!
However...
One side of the coin has a single player - the individual who clearly has only him/herself to contend with while the other side has an adult who not only has to do exactly the same as individual #1 - and contend with themselves, but they also have the irrational, unpredictable and sometimes unruly chaos factor called a child in the mix.
All things being equal - they're not in this equation. Me expecting that you, a person who has nothing more than himself and his own emotional condition to deal with do so vs. you expecting me to be able to not only to do that, but to also successfully mitigate, moderate and negotiate the every unpredictable circumstances that can unexpectedly confront a parent toting a child through this world of chaos and madness just to make your life easier is a little unfair.
Believe me - no parent wants to be subjected to that noise either. The BIG difference here is that you can get off the bus and leave the child behind.
Consider your thrust parried!
TZ - You mis-parried a thrust!
I actually agree with your earlier posts. My statement was more geared towards those who feel that a parent with a noisy kid is inconsiderate, whereas they seem to feel that their intolerance towards said kid and parent is not at all inconsiderate. I find that ironic. It's just another small sign of the me-me-me of todays society.
If that is what has been taken from any of my posts, then I failed to clarify my own position.
My wife and I are vividly conscious of how our children behave in public and always make EVERY effort to be considerate of others. It irritates us when other parents allow their kids to get out of line and make zero effort to control it. Consideration and tolerance is something that no one should be exempt from.
Don't knock it till you try it man, even though they are little humans, they are not easier to deal with. Understanding a child can be harder than understanding G.W. sometimes. While I agree that the parent you spoke of was not doing what she should have done to stop the kid from screaming, not all children are like that. It also bugs me when parents do that, but then again, maybe that parent has a reason for ignoring the child. Sometimes I have to do that with my son. As far as the hitting and kicking, my son might do that one time, but it will be the last. I am firm believer in a good butt whipping should a child act like that. In public, a firm smack on the hand or bottom should take care of that problem. I know it worked for me when I was a kid.
One other thing to consider is that all parents have different methods with which to deal with their children.
No, I followed your posts and agree. I think that I may have misworded the post you responded to. Your last sentence:
"Consideration and tolerance is something that no one should be exempt from."
I whole-heartedly agree with. That was my point. I've got 3 kids of my own and have been on both ends of the type of situation in question.
TZ - You mis-parried a thrust!
HA! Well, if I hadn't misinterpreted your post and you were saying how it was ironic that parents expect other people to 'behave'...
OK! - point Relic! Even if there was no contest to begin with! LOL
Funny! I started fencing my team mate! LOL
me and proper wording are often not found in the same post.
no problem, now if you could just give me a hand pulling this fencing sword out of my back....
All you say is very reasonable - BUT :
You chose to have children - you chose to accept all those consequences.
All the OP is saying is that he did not - why should he have to deal with the consequences of another person's decision - why have they the right to inflict this on other people?
Because we happen to live in a world where we sometimes have to asociate with our fellow human beings and many of those human beings are children who haven't yet learned self control that we expect of adults. If the OP is really bothered by noises such as this, then the obvious solution is to change the details of his life so that he doesn't have to go out into public anymore.
I wish you the best of luck with that. My little daugher's response to being spanked or smacked on the hand when she hit or kicked us was to increase her own level of violence towards my wife and I. After a long hard road of trying everything we could imagine for discipline, we finally realized that she was feeding off our reactions. The stronger our method of discipline, the harder she resisted. After a while we realized that calmly removing ourselves and ignoring her behavior (in our house) is the fastest way to get her past her melt-downs. My older daughter hit me once. One strong verbal response put an end to it immediately and it was never an issue again. Every kid is different.
The ones that really get me are the parents that take their screaming kids to quiet restaurants, or movie theaters!
I can tolerate (ignore) misbehaving children to a point, but there are sometimes when I'm asking myself and those I'm with, "what are they even doing here?!"
I can see where the OP is coming from, my irritability with children has also shown me that I shouldn't have any.
I can tolerate (ignore) misbehaving children to a point, but there are sometimes when I'm asking myself and those I'm with, "what are they even doing here?!"
I can see where the OP is coming from, my irritability with children has also shown me that I shouldn't have any.
In re-reading, it may have been my misunderstanding rather than your miswording that lead to the confusion. Funny that tZer had a similar misinterpretation.
Here, let me remove that sabre from your spine
Restaurants and movie theatres (especially!) are one thing, public transportation (as used in the OP's example) is quite another.
Yeah, I agree with you there. There are some places where it just has to be dealt with, I can see no fault on a parent bringing their child to a grocery store, shopping mall, public transportation, etc etc.
I much prefer the reaction I get - my kids running across the room to give me a hug and say, "I love you, daddy!". I accept my failure.
My youngest son - he's a great example. Strong-willed, major-league bad temper, and very very stubborn. A public spank would send him into a screaming frenzy. He's the poster child and inspiration behind my theory that if you ignore negative attention-getting behavior, (depending upon the situation)then it soon ceases to be used, because it simply ceases to be useful to the child. One bus ride might be torture to other passengers but the subsequent ones would be quite nice and quiet.
As previously mentioned in this thread: sometimes even good, well-mannered childred act like screaming brat-monkeys. Predicting when this will happen is slighlty less scientific than casting chicken bones.
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