This is like explaining why some proposed bass fingering technique does or doesn't work, to a person who has never played bass.
Talking to a tantrum doesn't work because the kid is out of control.
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Parents with screaming kids...
- Thread starter Stanley Design
- Start date
This is like explaining why some proposed bass fingering technique does or doesn't work, to a person who has never played bass.
Talking to a tantrum doesn't work because the kid is out of control.
This is laughable. I took Toasted's route and bought a car. That way I don't have to put up with the general public at all when going from A to B.
Dear Public:
I don't like you. To put it plainly, I enjoy things the way I want them and I find most deviations mildly annoying and many down right infuriating.
I don't like people who talk too loud in public. Sometimes it's your 20 year old "tough guy" act, other times it's the pathetic way you try to pass of another dialect as something you grew up with. And some of you are just too stupid to realize that I don't care to listen to an extremely dumb and most-likely fabricated story littered with curse words.
I don't like the way you smell. Some of you thought you could go an extra day without bathing. Guess again. Still others went the opposite route and have bathed in some crappy cologne that they bought based on a recommendation from a bass website. Nice try, but you smell like perfume with a hint of grass clippings from your day job.
I don't like the way most of you look. For some, you just lost the genetic lottery and are painful to look at. Then there's the group that is desparately trying to be bad ass and thought the latest get up from Hot Topic would complete the package. Well, it doesn't.
Moving along, there are some of you who have the same "I'm positive I look the part" attitude, but were aiming for some other direction (date with a social climber or whore you met at the bar). You guys normally come with the perfume/grass clippings odor. Well, you suck, too.
So, dear public, I hope you now inderstand that for everything you find unbearable about someone else....you fit the bill for another. If I left anyone out, please don't worry, I'm fairly certain that if I had to sit next to you for 27 minutes you'd make the list for another reason. Use your imagination and don't be afraid to be too hard on yourself. You probably deserve it.
Mike
Dear Public:
I don't like you. To put it plainly, I enjoy things the way I want them and I find most deviations mildly annoying and many down right infuriating.
I don't like people who talk too loud in public. Sometimes it's your 20 year old "tough guy" act, other times it's the pathetic way you try to pass of another dialect as something you grew up with. And some of you are just too stupid to realize that I don't care to listen to an extremely dumb and most-likely fabricated story littered with curse words.
I don't like the way you smell. Some of you thought you could go an extra day without bathing. Guess again. Still others went the opposite route and have bathed in some crappy cologne that they bought based on a recommendation from a bass website. Nice try, but you smell like perfume with a hint of grass clippings from your day job.
I don't like the way most of you look. For some, you just lost the genetic lottery and are painful to look at. Then there's the group that is desparately trying to be bad ass and thought the latest get up from Hot Topic would complete the package. Well, it doesn't.
Moving along, there are some of you who have the same "I'm positive I look the part" attitude, but were aiming for some other direction (date with a social climber or whore you met at the bar). You guys normally come with the perfume/grass clippings odor. Well, you suck, too.
So, dear public, I hope you now inderstand that for everything you find unbearable about someone else....you fit the bill for another. If I left anyone out, please don't worry, I'm fairly certain that if I had to sit next to you for 27 minutes you'd make the list for another reason. Use your imagination and don't be afraid to be too hard on yourself. You probably deserve it.
Mike
Tell the bastard with the angry voice and killing eyes that if he doesn't stop daddy is gonna cut out his tongue with a knife (show him the knife).
If you've gone that far that the kid doesn't know how to behave, you're wrong off from the start, go back to start and do your homework.
D.Don
There's a good 5 minutes of "PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSEEEEE!" in almost every kid before a tantrum emerges in a store.
Can I have it?
No
Please?
No
Why not?
Because I said so
But I really want it!
No!
Mom please!
I said NO now be quiet!
And then there's a tantrum. If you would just sweet talk your kid a little bit it, it would be avoided. A one sided conversation with absolutely no compassion or explanation is not going to get you anywhere with your child. Yes you are the king the pope and the sherriff to him, but you still can reach a limb out and give the kid an explanation why he can't have it, even if you have to lie about why or say "how about I think about it and see if I can afford it after payday?" There's tons of ways to keep your kid inside the loop without seeming like unreasonable trolls.
Without completely dismantling your argument, i'll just point out that a 3-5 year old has no comprehension of "payday" and how one arrives at that point. Oh, you can explain it to them, but the concept is still beyond their grasp. You see, there's a whole lot that goes into understanding the monetary system. Money, budgets, services rendered and pay schedule are all a little above the age group you're trying to smother. Allow me to help: you (and the others) will do a lot better if you argue the politeness of the parent rather than attempt to tackle a solution when you really don't understand the problem. You're welcome and all that.
Mike
we've all been there I was hungover on a 6am flight from PHX to Chicago in a situation like that. I just evil eyed the parent until they noticed and did something which i wasnt the only one mean muggin them.
I'll handle it like my parents did
Little Croox: :: screaming and crying ::
Parents Croox "SHUT UP!" : SMACK :
Little Croox Calms the F- down.
worked on my two older brothers too
I'll handle it like my parents did
Little Croox: :: screaming and crying ::
Parents Croox "SHUT UP!" : SMACK :
Little Croox Calms the F- down.
worked on my two older brothers too
- Feb 27, 2005
- 3,218
- 125
- Disclosures
- Full disclosure, I'm a certified Fender technician working in a music store that carries Fender, Yamaha, and Ibanez products among others.
I know it's difficult to comprehend, but kids are WAY more complex than you realize. What's more, we as parents are raising adults, not running a child-care for your benefit. Every kid is different, period. Until you have them, you won't realize how profoundly that affects an adult's interaction with them. They're not little machines that shut off tantrums with a set of magic words, or a smack upside the head, although both of those might work occasionally. Parenting is a relationship with long term consequences that no one can forsee. Sometimes, kids are just punks, too.
It's a hackneyed phrase, but until you have them, you just won't understand. I didn't, and neither did anyone else.
It's a hackneyed phrase, but until you have them, you just won't understand. I didn't, and neither did anyone else.
What makes anyones child so special that it should be tolerated by the rest of humanity.
Well, biologically, the child isn't as developed emotionally as the "rest of humanity", Theoretically, the rest of humanity is more equipped to handle inconvenience without throwing a similar tantrum. Theoretically.
Mike
Nothing. I don't expect anybody to tolerate my kid. You can tolerate my kid, or you can seethe in anger and have a hissy fit on a web forum when you get home. It's really your choice.
Perhaps you can back up that assertion with some evidence. Links? References? I've been reading through a few of my psychology textbooks for most of the past hour and I see descriptions of various behavior altering techniques (both positive and negative reinforcement) including plenty of discussion of punishment and I can't find any claims along the lines of "punishment is the least effective method of extinguishing a behavior". I do see that the combination of punishment and reward is considered to be very effective.
+1
However I do think a spanking every once in a while could help. I haven't had to do it yet, thankfully, for now "TIME OUT" is a good one!
You could always threaten the kid with the boogie-man.
Maybe that's why mankind invented the boogie-man.
Maybe that's why mankind invented the boogie-man.
biologically a child is born with our anatomy. mentally your still dealing with a beast that needs taming. this is why the harshness of life must be applied.
The harshness of life is applied. If you are sitting on a bus next to a screaming kid, your life is pretty harsh.
Hope that helps.
No, that's ridiculous. To me, if you choose to take a bus, you take these consequences into account, as mentioned above. I don't even have kids and I know that if you're taking a bus, you're willing to accept this.
Dr. Nancy Snyder, Professor of Psychology, Northeastern University.
"...most psychologists believe that punishment, especially severe punishment, is a poor way to eliminate unwanted behavior. In special cases, for example when mentally disabled children are in immediate danger of seriously injuring themselves, temporary physical restraint may be necessary. But even in these cases, alternatives to punishment are now preferred. ...When punishment must be applied, these guidelines should be kept in mind: 1. It should not involve physical abuse; instead, parents can use time-outs and negative punishers; 2. it should be accompanied by information about what kind of behavior would be appropriate; and 3. it should be followed, whenever possible, by the reinforcement of desirable behavior."
Wade, Carole, and Carol Tavris. Psychology. Nine ed. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson, 2008. 259-60.
Also keep in mind, negative reinforcement is not punishment.
So you'd willing to accept me playing the crazy frog ring tone on my phones speakers repeatedly for half an hour on a bus that we might share. Because you were prepared to accept those consequences...
