Man, now I just feel depressed. One of the members in my band (who will remain anonymous as I'm sure he reads stuff here) covers almost all of those.
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Please List Stereotypes and Characters with Whom we Play
- Thread starter Blah114
- Start date
we have lost more shows because of the sexual scoundrel than anyone can imagine.. we had a drummer who would talk so chauvinistically to the bar staff at one place.. we got banned from there.. the owner told me if the drummer even entered as a customer, he'd be bounced out.. one of my bands later played there.. without him, but it took a lot of talking on my part to patch the damage. That guy told a bartender @ that place "you've got great t_ts..."
The overactive lifestyler.. I had a guitarist once who showed up with his truck caked in mud.. he'd gone deer hunting and drove literally from his parents' property, hunting.. as he unloaded his gear, the cases got mud all over him.. he asked the bar owner, "Do you have a shower by chance??" the owner was like, "you're the first, and hopefully last, person to ever ask that..
The noodler is ok.. it's just when he/she gets in the way of practice.. it kind of sucks.. any guy that continually plays riffs in songs the band is not covering.. either to induce the band into somehow magically changing the setlist to that song.. or if the guy is showing off.. I noodle also.. but I keep the volume down.. it's when the band cannot converse that the Noodler gets annoying.
If your band's guitarist shreds during Jet's My Girl, Brickhouse, Sweet Home ALabama etc.. you have this guy in your band... the surest way to clear a dance floor, within reason, is a 6-minute guitar solo that doesn't belong within the song.
Two more:
The Noodler: Constantly playing his/her instrument from the time s/he gets into the space and sets up 15 minutes before everyone else gets there and doesn't let up; not for discussion, tuning up, bathroom/smoke breaks or the song being over at a gig.
The Criticizer: Nitpicking every last thing about everyone else's issues and/or foibles behind their backs in a highly sanctimonious manner in some online forum by making grand lists of sweeping generalizations presented as quintessential fact. They are usually single, quietly disliked by their bandmates and lack insight into their own issues and the impact they have on others.
or the guys without a sense of humor (among other things).. who are not supporting members of a site on which they post. Worse even yet.. sometimes they cannot even spell their own supposed location/country of origin.
How about just the plain old "Leader"? three piece band, the trucks in his name, owns all the PA, Is the lead singer, and lead guitar, books all the shows, takes care of the websites, facebooks etc; is awesome at all of the above. Drinks shots instead of beer so he can bitch at you if you need a break. Ends up drunker than the other two, still does a great job as do the other guys, then 2 seconds before the next show tells you everything you did wrong at the last show!? I just played with that guy for 10 years. WOW!
A think that's a variation on a different type, one that just treats the band as if it's what he's doing only when everything else is done, i.e. absolute last priority. Always running late, never prepared, etc.
The Breaker-ever couple of songs, "Let's get outside for a minute, we'll come back to that one." Usually a smoker. I'm a smoker, but I like at least 30 minutes of work before any kind of break in the practice room.
yep.. that guy was a horrible guitarist also.. that was around 12 years ago... I filled in for about 5 shows for a band while their bassist had surgery.. I watched a lot of BS with that band.. that guitarist made the band his last priority.. but what I liked about him.. was he told the guys to fire him if they could find somebody better.. he at least seemed to realize he was causing problems. I liked him.. he just never practiced.. and looked down on cover bands..
I have run into all of the above plus one more. A drummer who said he didn't have time to learn the songs we were schedule to record even though we rehearsed at his house. We had studio time booked and he knew the date we were going to record 2 months in advance. To make it worse, he shows up at the studio without his drums even though he insisted on using his own kit. The studio drum set had already been removed to accomodate him. I fired him immediately and spent the next several months getting drunk phone calls from him late at night.
I played with two guys who were like this... one could play keyboards.. and he'd never played them before.. I play currently with another guy who can play guitar, bass, and drums.. then we discovered he can sing leads as well as/better than our current singer.. I am in 3 bands right now.. one which is quite successful.. the other two are somewhat successful.. but not booked by agencies.
it amazes me I am getting hateful, critical PMs.. about this thread.. I ought to post them on here.. loads of mispellings.. which leads me to think a #2 is sending me PMs.. if this thread hurts that badly to read.. then that's just pathetic. All from people supposedly in New York and Canada.. lol.
Has anyone else mentioned
The Gear Junkie? That is, the guitarist who has learned how to play to a passable level but has never tried removing the safety net he has gradually built up in the meantime of about twelve different effects. Is then flabbergasted when the guitarist in another band can get such a great tone out of "only" a guitar, amp and half-decent overdrive pedal, and doesn't fully comprehend that it matters how well you play the instrument in the first place.
The Gear Junkie? That is, the guitarist who has learned how to play to a passable level but has never tried removing the safety net he has gradually built up in the meantime of about twelve different effects. Is then flabbergasted when the guitarist in another band can get such a great tone out of "only" a guitar, amp and half-decent overdrive pedal, and doesn't fully comprehend that it matters how well you play the instrument in the first place.
how about the guitarist with a Les Paul.. BEAUTIFUL guitar.. with a Marshall stack.. then uses his Rocktron,Digitech , etc board as a preamp..
Ha!
I know a guitar player/singer who needs a wheel dolly for his effects board!
NOT kidding, it's HUGE!
I know a guitar player/singer who needs a wheel dolly for his effects board!
NOT kidding, it's HUGE!
The Electrician. He knows how all the gear works inside and out and can fix things when they go wrong - recones speakers, rewires guitars, takes amps/boards apart between gigs and adds shielding to make them quieter. Usually, not the best musician in the band, but you can't do without him.
The A-hole. Talented guy who is the band leader but is a complete pain to work with. Always has good money gigs so you tolerate it as long as you can, then eventually quit and let someone else take the abuse.
The knob twiddler. He can't leave his tone alone for more than one verse - is always adjusting and re-adjusting not realizing that he's screwing up the songs far worse when he stops to tweak than if he just left it alone and tweaked at the end of the song.
The Over Booker. Takes all gigs including ones on nights when he already has a gig. He sends half the band to one gig and the other half to the other - then adds fill in guys in both so that his band can be in two places at once.
+1 to the Smokers. Guys who can't rehearse for three songs in a row without a break.
The Iron Leader. Just the opposite of the smoker, he never breaks. Wants to play for an hour and a half or two hours with no break. Never gets sick and gets mad when other people do.
The Clueless Volume Guy. Usually the guitarist but not always. He has no idea what blend means. The whole band plays one volume and then he plays three times as loud as everyone else put together. Claims it's the only way his amp sounds good but using a smaller amp is out of the question.
The A-hole. Talented guy who is the band leader but is a complete pain to work with. Always has good money gigs so you tolerate it as long as you can, then eventually quit and let someone else take the abuse.
The knob twiddler. He can't leave his tone alone for more than one verse - is always adjusting and re-adjusting not realizing that he's screwing up the songs far worse when he stops to tweak than if he just left it alone and tweaked at the end of the song.
The Over Booker. Takes all gigs including ones on nights when he already has a gig. He sends half the band to one gig and the other half to the other - then adds fill in guys in both so that his band can be in two places at once.
+1 to the Smokers. Guys who can't rehearse for three songs in a row without a break.
The Iron Leader. Just the opposite of the smoker, he never breaks. Wants to play for an hour and a half or two hours with no break. Never gets sick and gets mad when other people do.
The Clueless Volume Guy. Usually the guitarist but not always. He has no idea what blend means. The whole band plays one volume and then he plays three times as loud as everyone else put together. Claims it's the only way his amp sounds good but using a smaller amp is out of the question.
The female karoke singer who gets her first gig in a band with other humans and actually thinks her cleavage and really tight jeans didnt get her in the band....
there is an agent in my area.. who books only bands with hot, female lead singers... no matter how bad the bands are.. sometimes, the players behind them are amazing, though. They stare at the singer-girls' asses throughout the sets..
Add the protective boyfriend/spouse into the mix and it can get dicey..
or the guy who brings an Ampeg 8x10 to a club that's 1100 sq feet.. I have seen that.. where the volume is .2.. and it is still too loud.. I confess I have been guilty of this, but bought other gear to accomodate the acoustic/small shows.
I played with the Over Booker.. we did parties where at night's end.. we got stiffed.. the guy would book shows in other states.. for like $400.. without negotiating anything.. needless to say, he had to get a fill in bass player, among others, for those shows.. I am glad that is over with.. that was like in 1993.. I will never forget that.. "Dude, I booked a show.. but.. it is 400 miles away..... but it's a high profile club!!!!!"
