We've had wives sit in and listen at practice. No problem, they enjoyed the music and it was nice company.
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Policy on girlfriends at practice
- Thread starter Comrade Momenta
- Start date
My time is so valuable to me. Sometimes even when everything goes well it still takes a lot of time to get the music just right. PLEASE do not waist my time. I find it very disrespectfull. I don't care what is distracting you... everybody needs to be focused on the task at hand.
Now that is a YOUNG adult speaking!
Guess maybe I'll see if the drummer wants to be coked up at gigs---his call, after all, huh?
My opinion is if said GF stays quiet and the band can work, i have no real issue. But, that said... I'm not really hip on anyone but bandmembers being at practices.
I was in band not too long ago that had a singer/guitarist who could just absolutely not go to practice alone. Whether it was a few buddies, the new chick of the week... every single practice had someone hanging in the room, giving us their opinions (even when we obviously didn't ask for them), and turning practice more into a "performance" for the guests. NOTHING would get done unless we got mad and told the dude to not bring anyone.
Those practices without any guests weren't much better as he would often get pouty or had a "really long day" and couldn't give his all into practice. It was his project, so there was really only so much the rest of us could say about it. The shows/pay were great, but in the long run.. it was better for me that i left.
I was in band not too long ago that had a singer/guitarist who could just absolutely not go to practice alone. Whether it was a few buddies, the new chick of the week... every single practice had someone hanging in the room, giving us their opinions (even when we obviously didn't ask for them), and turning practice more into a "performance" for the guests. NOTHING would get done unless we got mad and told the dude to not bring anyone.
Those practices without any guests weren't much better as he would often get pouty or had a "really long day" and couldn't give his all into practice. It was his project, so there was really only so much the rest of us could say about it. The shows/pay were great, but in the long run.. it was better for me that i left.
It's hard enough to have discussions and come to an agreement on songs & arrangements without someone's busy-body wife/manager/control-freak chiming in too. I'd say she's only welcome if she keeps her mouth shut when it comes to band matters. Which is not likely in my experience.
If they aren't causing a distraction, then it's not a problem. If they are, then it is. However, if you think your bandmates' friends/girlfriends/wives will ever cause a problem then it's probably a good idea to keep rehearsals closed.
Depends highly on the personality of the woman...If she's the type that feels the band is competition, thats trouble. It's been my experience that most will soon tire of the repetition and find other things to do.. Ending the problem! Lol
Only if they're actually in the band or working for the band in some capacity that they're needed at rehearsal.
Otherwise, only if they keep quiet & out of the way, which isn't possible.
I don't know which is worse: A band member's girlfriend that insists in piping up with an unsolicited opinion about what the band should do, or one that silently sulks over being ignored. Neither one bodes well for a long relationship.
If somebody's girlfriend just simply must come watch me work, I just may go to where she works sometime, sit around & sulk or tell how her & her coworkers how they should do their jobs. Then again, I have better things to do!
Otherwise, only if they keep quiet & out of the way, which isn't possible.
I don't know which is worse: A band member's girlfriend that insists in piping up with an unsolicited opinion about what the band should do, or one that silently sulks over being ignored. Neither one bodes well for a long relationship.
If somebody's girlfriend just simply must come watch me work, I just may go to where she works sometime, sit around & sulk or tell how her & her coworkers how they should do their jobs. Then again, I have better things to do!
Gaolee
Official leathers tester and crash dummy
It's great to have an audience, as long as the audience understands that it's a working session and won't sound or flow like a show. The cover band routinely has a random spouse or kid wandering through the practice session.
Thanks for the insight guys. Really helpful. I have another question now. I'm sure it won't be an issue but just in case ya know? If it does become an issue, how have you guys addressed it before? I feel like the guitarist and even our drummer would get defensive if I were to say she needs to stop coming to practices.
I think it was Paul Gilbert who said that the minute you have any non band member at rehearsal it stops being a rehearsal and becomes a performance.
No outsiders.
No outsiders.
I view bringing people who aren't in the band to band practice the same as bringing people to your work who aren't employed there. Regardless of it being man, woman, friend, significant other or whatever. Just like with work, you can always invite your band mates over for dinner, drinks or just to hang out if you want to socialize and only have fun. It doesn't mean you have to be joyless when you're working, but you're there to work. I only say that because whenever you bring things like this up to people who do it (or anything other than practice music at band practice), their reaction is usually "I joined a band to have FUN", which I think is just twisting words to excuse doing something other than what you're there to do.
There are certain kinds of people that just can't let their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife be somewhere without them. That's a personal issue between them, if it's more important than doing activities you've committed to, that's the priority you've chosen. Just pick one and own it. If the other person is just bored and lonely and they're coming to have something to do, let them get their own hobbies. Gigs are for entertaining people, band practice is for practicing.
There are certain kinds of people that just can't let their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife be somewhere without them. That's a personal issue between them, if it's more important than doing activities you've committed to, that's the priority you've chosen. Just pick one and own it. If the other person is just bored and lonely and they're coming to have something to do, let them get their own hobbies. Gigs are for entertaining people, band practice is for practicing.
- Oct 18, 2012
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My band never allows guests at rehearsal. We are there to get work done. Once girlfriends start coming to rehearsal, they start expressing their opinions and things get ugly. Leave your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, brother, sister, other relatives and friends at home. If they want to hear you, tell them to come to a gig.
depends on the location.
If practice is at someone's house, with food, beers, bathroom breaks, a nice window, somewhere for her to sit and relax, maybe one of the other spouses to talk with, then sure.
But if it is down at the woodshed, in a dark room with sweaty guys pounding away trying to come up with the next great rock anthem, then no, not ever. Unless she brings pizza, beer, and then leaves.
If practice is at someone's house, with food, beers, bathroom breaks, a nice window, somewhere for her to sit and relax, maybe one of the other spouses to talk with, then sure.
But if it is down at the woodshed, in a dark room with sweaty guys pounding away trying to come up with the next great rock anthem, then no, not ever. Unless she brings pizza, beer, and then leaves.
