That makes sense, if you're a lefty. I'm right handed and have clanged a ride cymbal or two with my headstock when playing on my "opposite" side (i.e., to the right hand of a right-handed drummer).
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Interesting you mention the drummer watching your right hand. I've been fortunate enough to play with some very good veteran drummers in the area and the ones I seem to "lock" with best have all told me they do that. I really think it's important for bass and drums to make at least occasional visual contact as well as listening to each other. Especially important to watch the kick foot if you're not getting enough through the monitors for whatever reason, and also if you've both been laying out and need to come in together with a big hit or build.
Reminds me of a Journey gig I saw where their post Steve Smith drummer was noticeably dragging tempo on one song and Ross Valory turns around and starts nodding his head at the "right" tempo as if to say, come on man, pick it up.
That leading/following thing is a weird thing with me. I personally don't like the drummer to be TOO dependent on me (or anyone else in the band for that matter); I've played with a couple of drummers who are technically very sound and very musical but almost listen too much and try to fit in and embellish on what everyone else is doing when what the band really needs is for them to just say "OK it's going to be like THIS" and lay it down.
The drummers I lock with best seem to be the ones that lay down a real solid, steady beat and don't let anyone in the band knock them off of it. I guess "playing with authority" would be the term.

I prefer to play to the right of the drummer, mainly due to the fact that I'm left handed and if I were to stand on the other side of the drums, particulary on small stages there's a danger of my bass neck hitting the drum kit or the cymbals.


OK this may be a really basic question,...but what do you consider "Stage Right" and "Stage Left"?
I was taught way back in high school that stage right and left means "from the audience's point of view. So when you are standing on stage, from your perspective it's backwards. (ie stage right is to the left of the drummer, stage left is to his right).
help me out here...