These "discussions" always end up with "the ones I've tried" and "what I play". If the ones you've tried don't work for what you play, there you are. If you've actually tried the BEST ones in the uses they're MEANT for, and find them unworkable, fair point. But, if you're playing lower end gear, or expecting it to work for something other than intended, you're just not being realistic. BTW...for an unplugged bass guitar, anything under $1500 is lower end.
Acoustic instruments aren't like slabs. You can't expect to buy cheap and play bigtime. It costs time and money to make something that sounds good without a plug. Likewise, playing an ABG is for certain kinds of things. Complaining that it doesn't work for everything that a slab does is off target. You wouldn't bring a UB to a metal shred either.
Despite the people who feel that ABGs are useless, I've been paying them exclusively for 25 years, and although there are some gigs where I plug in, there are many more where I don't. Last week I sat in a jam circle with two hammer dulcimers, two harmonicas, two guitars, two mandos, and four fiddles...and drove the bassline. Guy on the other side of the circle commented on how well he could hear it. He was playing folk percussion gear. Not your kind of music or venue? Hate large bodies and simple heavy handed lines? Cool, move on. But please stop trying to tell me that what I'm using and how I'm using it don't work.