• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join free Log in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

Relationship starting?

#21
Actually, let me add a little more: the comic book tees are fine, but make sure you add a little variety and context...out to dinner in a nice place you want to look presentable, not like you're going to a comic con. And this is just general advise, the poster I quoted above is assuming the OP wears Aqua man tees. :)
 
#22
knexfreak32 said:
Keep in mind that I'm one of those unattractive clumsy nerd
Click to expand...

Have you seen the people on this site? Most of us are, yet many of us are dating or married to beautiful women.

The only advice I can offer is, if you like any of these girls then do something about it.

DwaynieAD said:
quit being nice. girls don't like nice guys. nice guys can't slay a wildebeest and bring it home for dinner. that's evolution homie.
Click to expand...

Im a nice guy, always have been. Its never kept me from forming awesome relationships.

OP, you can be nice, but dont let others take advantage of your niceness.
 
#23
Milk said:
:rolleyes:

Yeah cause we all know girls never have anything interesting to talk about. I mean it's all shopping and shoes guy, amirite?!? If you're not hanging out with a girl that talks about things that are interesting to you, you're hanging out with the wrong girls. I NEVER had that problem (though when i'm nervous i do tend to talk more than listen which is something i had to do something about, it's not that i'm not interested, it's just that i guess i feel if i fill any silence with the sound of my own voice then there is no awkward silence, just me making an obnoxious fool of myself don't do that).

DO ask about her but not because it's something you HAVE to do but because you actually really want to know. People can generally know when someone is not being genuine. Or i know i can anyway (which tends to be horrible for social life since 80% of people are fakers). If you actually have to force yourself to ask about her and it's not because you're just fighting your own shyness that you're not, then maybe you're interested in her for the wrong reasons (meaning not interested in her as a person but more as a body, meaning you just want to get in her pants...which is fine if that's all you want i guess but that should be clear to both you and her)

Also as we all no the waiting period rules before calling is a load of BS. Do what feels right. If a girl isn't into games playing (which you dONT want anything to do with) and she is actually interested in you, she DOES want to hear from you pretty much anytime.
Click to expand...

Also, ask her about her thoughts on things, don't just talk about her.
 
#24
Relayer71 said:
Actually, let me add a little more: the comic book tees are fine, but make sure you add a little variety and context...out to dinner in a nice place you want to look presentable, not like you're going to a comic con. And this is just general advise, the poster I quoted above is assuming the OP wears Aqua man tees. :)
Click to expand...

Nah, I was just giving a self-proclaimed nerd some grief. He can wear whatever he wants. Please, don't allow me to derail this conversation to something other then giving the guy advice. No need to debate T-shirts.

Carry on.........
 
#26
mellowinman said:
Both of these posts are offering you bad advice.

I have always had a bazillion female friends.

Some of them have ended up as more than friends.

I was nice to all of them. Women like nice guys.

But here's a little secret: letting a woman know she is sexy IS nice. Make some moves. Don't be creepy about it. Give a woman a chance to reject you. Remember, only the first few rejections hurt; after awhile, it becomes fun to even be in the game trying. And it's all worth it for those who DON'T reject you!

You don't have to necessarily ask them out on dates; although you can if you want to. You can also do friend activities, and see if the lady is sending you any signs. I watched TV laying on my bed with a female friend, and we enjoyed the show. Then I kissed her, and BAM!

Make sure she's someone you're really into. It works a lot better in those circumstances. "Hitting" someone just because they're there is not only morally wrong, but it weakens you as a potential lover. You don't want her to settle, and you don't want to settle either.

Give a damn about these women. You can care deeply about someone AND want to get in their pants. I do it all the time.
Click to expand...

I agree.
 
#27
Relayer71 said:
Don't listen to this. if a girl can't respect your hobbies or interests, you don't need her. This is important, especially if you want long term relationship.

There are plenty of geeky video game, comic book, sci-fi loving women. Not everyone loves car-loving, sports watching jocks. It's a big world, there's room for all kinds. Everyone loves bassists though, that's just basic physics or psychology or law of the land or something.

Rock on and good luck.
Click to expand...

+1
 
#31
Million Dollar Idea!!!

Draw her a picture of a Liger!!!

ImageUploadedByTalkBass1385627406.185456.jpg
 
#32
IGotGas said:
Get out of the friend zone by asking her(s) out. Don't get to focused or sensitive about "the date" and act like it's just another thang in yo life. The key is finding the balance of a bit of assertiveness (hey this is a date), but low key (ya we're buddies but like whatever, I'm not neurotic and thinking about her or going out with her 24/7). When you ask, make it almost appear to be a bit off hand. And DO NOT act different around her after you ask her out, no matter what happens. Keep it totally fun, low pressure, make friendly eye contact, be a gentleman, and pack a raincoat!
Click to expand...

+1

I wouldn't even burden the outing with the term "date." I'd just say, "Hey, do you want to go play mini-golf/see the new Hunger Games movie/catch the new play at the playhouse/etc.?" Regardless of more equal gender norms coming about, a lot of times, a date is defined or made official if the guy pays, so when it comes to paying, just pick up the tab on a first outing. Don't make a big deal about it.
 
#33
Do you hang out with the girl(s) you have in mind one-on-one? If not invite them out, to do something specific, give them a date and time. Like the others have said don't get your hopes up, they might not want to and be wishy washy about it; but if they do, they'll say yes or work out a alternative if what gave won't work for them.

Having standards is attractive.
 
#35
knexfreak32 said:
I have been having issiues starting a relationship. I have a fair number of female friends who I'm interisted in and they like me but i just don't know what to do. Sometimes they'll tell me how nice i am but.. what do i do
Click to expand...

IMO, your first sentence is the problem; why "start" a relationship? You already have several started and you don't realize it.

My wife and I have been married for 31 years and known each other for almost 40. What has kept us together through the many problems of life is our friendship.

Women like men that: are confident in themselves, make them laugh, are sensitive to their feelings, and make them feel secure.

You sound like you might be young, nothing wrong with that, just don't rush things by thinking there is something you have to do. Be yourself, do fun things together, nature will do the rest. :)
 
#38
knexfreak32 said:
Keep in mind that I'm one of those unattractive clumsy nerd
Click to expand...

I have a coworker who recently went on a job interview for a promotion. One of the things she said at the interview was "I know I'm not the brightest bulb on the porch, but I think I'm a good worker." Not surprisingly, she did not get the promotion.

It's not even what she said. If a more self-confident person had said that, it would have been taken as a joke. It's the attitude that underlies it. Sometimes you gotta sell yourself. Talking about how great you are will backfire, because it comes off egotistical. But practice being confident.

Confidence is tough. I know I've struggled with it. But I like dragons. Dragons are cool. And when I feel scared or uncertain, I like to picture myself as a dragon, with massive leathery wings and fiery breath. While this may sound corny, remember that the concept of a "power animal" is common to many shamanic practices. Perhaps you've always liked bears or wolves or something. Maybe even ligers. :D

Women like nice guys just fine. What they do NOT like are namby-pamby nebbishes. In other words, what I'm saying to you is that your main obstacle right now is your own self-image. Work on that, and you'll do fine.
 
#40
Ironbar said:
1) "Hi, my name is _____. You're really pretty. Wanna' get coffee sometime?

2) Be self-assured. Women can smell fear.

3) Listen to them blather all night. If she asks questions about you, circle them back to her. Women love to blather about themselves.

4) Behave as if life itself were your b**ch, but don't be an ass about it.
Click to expand...

All good. I'd place emphasis on number two.
 

Latest posts

Top Bottom
Back