RIP Dad

[Jaco D]

My condolences, ChilliP. Thirty years ago this October my Dad passed away due to stomach cancer as well. He was fifty-six years old. Though Dad was complaining of stomach pains/discomfort for some time, the doctors couldn't diagnose the disease till he had "open-close" surgery and the surgeons said that there was nothing they could do. The guy didn't smoke or drink but he was someone who was always on the edge because of work. I guess the increased levels of stomach acid led to the disease (but I could be wrong). The other thing though is three or four of his siblings died of different forms of cancer, so I guess the disease is hard-coded in our genes. Pops was an "engineer's engineer" and I think he would have appreciated the state of technology we are seeing right now. During his last weeks, ever the engineer, he was even passing "engineering solutions" to his doctor as to how to treat the disease, and my Mom and sister (both doctors) had to talk him out of going down that path. He was also a very religious RC by the way. People then told me that stomach and bone cancer were the more painful versions of the disease. Don't know if that's true, but knowing that Pops was now beyond the pain somehow helped me cope with his passing away.

 

[two fingers]

I lost my sister when she was only 20. She was amazing as well. (This isn't about me.... hang on.) The point is, eventually I looked at it as having received the most amazing gift of getting to know her as few had. Hopefully you will feel the same way eventually. Sorry for your loss. Hang in there. Just remember that forgetting is worse than remembering. So tell good stories about him. Laugh about the good times. Make him a hero to the youngsters in your family. He'll live on that way.

 

[rockstarsmd]

So sorry to hear of your loss, brother. I just lost my dad, too, the day before Halloween. It's been hard as hell, and I very much feel your pain.

My dad had just had surgery a week before, and had been doing incredibly well in recovery -- faster than anyone expected. He did so well that they released him early. He went home with my mom on a Sunday, then was rushed back to the hospital the very next day, and passed away that night.

My folks live in NC, and I'm in WI, so I couldn't quite just hop in the car... No flights seemed likely to get me home in time (Sandy was shutting down airports between them and me) so I drove through snow, 23 straight hours to get there... Not in time to say goodbye. ::

I agree with the other posts so far, though: his energy will live on in you and your sister. You are lucky (as am I) to have had such a great man in your life in such a critical role. Many are not so fortunate.

I am also lucky to have two awesome little kids, including my son who is named after my dad. I used to laugh when my dad would say to me, "I open my mouth and I hear my father speak." Now it's me who has that very same experience, almost every day with my own son. It's some seriously weird, Disney movie, circle-of-life ****, I know, but it's true.

Keep the faith, brother. Play your instrument. Write him a song.

 

[SherwoodGreen]

My condolences.

(3) years since my father passed, and although he's not here with me I always feel his presence and always will. I'm certain that you will feel your Father's presence too.

For everyone else- Thank your Parents for what they've done & tell them you love them while they're still here.

 

[jrthebassguy]

So sorry to hear about your loss, dude.

I know there's nothing I can say to help ease your hurt, but you're in my thoughts Laurent, and wish you all the best.

 

[68Goldfish]

Very sorry about our Dad. Our stories are very similar. I to lost my Dad to stomach cancer a little over a year ago. Worked with him every day since I was old enough to hold a flashlight and fetch cups of coffee. He worked his ass off for his family. He retired and not a year later got the cancer. My folks were maried for over 40 years. Realy pisses me off to think about it. The only comfort is that I know he's not suffering anymore and as tough as he was I know he was suffering. I don't know where my dad is but I talk to him all the time. Little consolation but it does get easier with time I guess. Again, very sorry for your loss.

 

[canopener]

Chili my condolences. Cancer is a cruel bastard. My wife was lucky enough to beat it before we were married at age 25, but I know she's an exception. I know what it does to families and can only imagine what you went through.

 

[BassyBill]

Hey, Laurent - I know I already messaged you about this after JP told me your bad news, but it's worth saying again - deepest sympathy for you and your family. I know how it feels to lose a parent to some random illness.

Get in touch soon, we need to meet up again now you're here in the UK.

 

[BassDoc51]

My deepest condolences to you and your family. Cancer is a bastard that nobody should ever have to deal with. I lost my grandfather in 2011 to bladder cancer. My dad is a prostate cancer survivor. I can't help but think that I may be sentenced to cancer in the same region.

Since your dad is no longer here, perhaps you can be the one to walk your sister down the aisle on her wedding day.

 

[PilbaraBass]

Condolences, man... I lost my mother to lung cancer in March...

It really sucks... But just remember all the good times...

You miss them like anything, but take comfort that they're in a better place .

 

[Relic]

So very very sorry to hear this Laurent.. He sounds like a good man. From your description, he sounds a bit like my dad.
Follow his lead now and be an example to others on how to live with "life in your years", it's the best way to both honor him and to pass on his example.
My deepest condolences.

 

[Sav'nBass]

Sorry for your loss.. but you can take heart because I am certain that his faith was important to him and a source of comfort through this ordeal.. and just think.. I know tis sounds morbid.. but if you are fortunate and blessed as well as being a blessing.. one day your son will do the same for you. I am at that stage now where I see my parent's mortality .. but i also am more aware of my own.. That favorite quote of your dad's from Lincoln is priceless.

 

[bassbully]

My prayers to you and your family. Your Father sounded like a great man who produced and provided to a family and stood by them thru the years.

There are no easy answers or anything we or I can say to relieve the pain. Time makes it better (some) but it is always there when you lose a love one or someone you care about. What has helped me is not to think about their death but to honor and embrace their life and the gift of that and what effect it had on me and all those who loved them.

For you to of had your Father for over 60 years is a gift and there many who wish they knew their father, some lost them when they were young etc. Remember him for who he was, what he taught you, and be thankful for the years you had.

This Saturday 12/29/12 will be the one year mark of my Father's passing. He was a strong man who was hunting and walked miles the week of his death. He had never been in a hospital or sick besides the flu in 78 years. He fell ill over Christmas and died 4 days later when they said he would be fine and was looking forward to going home.
I miss him every second of everyday but stay strong by focusing on him and what he was to me, my life as well as our family.

Stay strong. Peace to you.

 

[Junk420]

Hope your holidays went well man. This year was 10 years ago that cancer took my Dad from us at the age of 43.

All the best

 

[nickbass79]

My sincerest condolences Laurent. I am dreading the day I have to feel that loss.

 

[Michael Jewels]

I'm very sorry to read about your loss, Laurent.

I lost my dad almost 35 years ago, and my mom about 20.

The grief will demand its share of your time, but don't you let it take one second more.

Think of the good things in the past, and look forward towards your sister's wedding.

Your father has a son to be very proud of; I know, because I've met you.

You will see him again.

Sincerely, Mike.

 

[ChiliPepper]

Your dad sounds like an extraordinary man. The tribute you gave in his honor was moving, and those good memories of your time with him can never be taken away. May God comfort you and your family in your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent terrifies me, so I can't imagine how you're feeling.

Your dad sounds like a great man. I know it's tough to do at the moment, but count yourself fortunate that you were able to be guided through life by such a father.

RIP Mr ChiliPepper

Very, very sorry for your loss.

Prayers for you and your family.

I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds like Your Dad was a great Man.

Very sorry for your loss man, I don't know what else to say, its an issue I have been fortunate enough not to face yet.

Be sure to take care of yourself while supporting the family in these hard times.

I'm sorry for your loss, my condolences to you and your family.

I'm so sorry for your loss I have you and your family in prayers.

My wife lost her mother two months ago, so I know what you are going through. You have my sincere condolences. It sounds like your dad raised wonderful children, so take what small comfort you can in knowing that he lives on in you.

Sorry man. I lost my dad to cancer in July. Hurt like hell, and still does.

I am very sorry.

Thanks for sharing about your dad.

Sorry to hear about your loss. Your father sounded like a great man. May he rest in peace.

Sorry for your loss my friend. Give yourself time to do what you need to do and don't be too hard on yourself, the healing process takes time.

Best wishes and prayers for you and your family.

I am sorry for your loss Laurent, hugs.

So sorry to hear about your loss, dude.

I know there's nothing I can say to help ease your hurt, but you're in my thoughts Laurent, and wish you all the best.

Hey, Laurent - I know I already messaged you about this after JP told me your bad news, but it's worth saying again - deepest sympathy for you and your family. I know how it feels to lose a parent to some random illness.

Get in touch soon, we need to meet up again now you're here in the UK.

My sincerest condolences Laurent. I am dreading the day I have to feel that loss.

Thanks a lot for all your kind words

I'm so sorry for you. My condolences.

I know how you feel. I lost my father in 2002 when I was just 11 years old. He passed away after he got a infarction. Normally, a very tiny part of your heart gets black, which means it's dead. My fathers infarction was that bad, his entire backside of his heart was blown away.. There was no change he would make it. He was also brain dead, cause he didn't had oxygen for a long time.

He had been in coma for 3 days, when my mother made the hard decision that they should stop with respiration.

He died at the age of 47, one month before he would turn 48.

It's now 10 years that he was taken from us, but I still love him so much and I have a feeling that something is empty that will never be filled again.. But I know what you feel. I can only say that I wish you the best and I hope you can give this a place

Best of luck!

Thanks man. I'm so sorry for you but I think your mom made the right decision.

Lost my old man of a heart attack nearly 20 years ago when he was 48. Bang. Out like a light in front of my kid brother. Still hurts to this day, but it drove home the fact that y'know....we all die and for most of us, the time and manner of our departure is beyond our control. My greatest fear is not dying, but outliving my daughter.

Condolences, friend. Your life has changed forever, but the pain will get easier to manage.

To quote Gene Simmons (!)..."every day above ground is a good day".

+ 1

that is very similar to what happened to my neighbor a couple of years ago. I can't imagine how difficult that must be. At least we were able to...well sort of prepare for it although it's difficult either way.

 

[ChiliPepper]

L,

I'm so sorry. I lost my father to cancer when I was 26 too...even though we didn't have a great relationship, I have an idea of what you're going through too. All that logistical stuff and then greeting everyone at the funeral was a lot to deal with. Don't be hard on yourself for not being in good shape now; you're not really supposed to be. It will get better though.

Thinking of you and your family.

M

Thanks Marshall! The bureaucratic stuff is annoying and very frustrating and we're far from being done, especially since not much is going on between christmas and new year's. I'm sure your father would be very proud of you and what you've accomplished in your life.

My condolences, ChilliP. Thirty years ago this October my Dad passed away due to stomach cancer as well. He was fifty-six years old. Though Dad was complaining of stomach pains/discomfort for some time, the doctors couldn't diagnose the disease till he had "open-close" surgery and the surgeons said that there was nothing they could do. The guy didn't smoke or drink but he was someone who was always on the edge because of work. I guess the increased levels of stomach acid led to the disease (but I could be wrong). The other thing though is three or four of his siblings died of different forms of cancer, so I guess the disease is hard-coded in our genes. Pops was an "engineer's engineer" and I think he would have appreciated the state of technology we are seeing right now. During his last weeks, ever the engineer, he was even passing "engineering solutions" to his doctor as to how to treat the disease, and my Mom and sister (both doctors) had to talk him out of going down that path. He was also a very religious RC by the way. People then told me that stomach and bone cancer were the more painful versions of the disease. Don't know if that's true, but knowing that Pops was now beyond the pain somehow helped me cope with his passing away.

Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds very familiar One of the main issues with stomach cancer and other types of cancer is that the symptoms occur when the cancer has often reached an advanced stage.

I lost my sister when she was only 20. She was amazing as well. (This isn't about me.... hang on.) The point is, eventually I looked at it as having received the most amazing gift of getting to know her as few had. Hopefully you will feel the same way eventually. Sorry for your loss. Hang in there. Just remember that forgetting is worse than remembering. So tell good stories about him. Laugh about the good times. Make him a hero to the youngsters in your family. He'll live on that way.

+ 1

I'm really sorry about your loss. I love my sister and it must have been tough for you and your parents losing her at such a young age.

I agree with the other posts so far, though: his energy will live on in you and your sister. You are lucky (as am I) to have had such a great man in your life in such a critical role. Many are not so fortunate.

I am also lucky to have two awesome little kids, including my son who is named after my dad. I used to laugh when my dad would say to me, "I open my mouth and I hear my father speak." Now it's me who has that very same experience, almost every day with my own son. It's some seriously weird, Disney movie, circle-of-life ****, I know, but it's true.

Keep the faith, brother. Play your instrument. Write him a song.

+ 1

couldn't agree more.

I wish you could have said goodbye to your father.

Very sorry about our Dad. Our stories are very similar. I to lost my Dad to stomach cancer a little over a year ago. Worked with him every day since I was old enough to hold a flashlight and fetch cups of coffee. He worked his ass off for his family. He retired and not a year later got the cancer. My folks were maried for over 40 years. Realy pisses me off to think about it. The only comfort is that I know he's not suffering anymore and as tough as he was I know he was suffering. I don't know where my dad is but I talk to him all the time. Little consolation but it does get easier with time I guess. Again, very sorry for your loss.

+ 1 your dad sounds like a great man, i wish he could have enjoyed his retirement after working so hard for his family.

My deepest condolences to you and your family. Cancer is a bastard that nobody should ever have to deal with. I lost my grandfather in 2011 to bladder cancer. My dad is a prostate cancer survivor. I can't help but think that I may be sentenced to cancer in the same region.

Chili my condolences. Cancer is a cruel bastard. My wife was lucky enough to beat it before we were married at age 25, but I know she's an exception. I know what it does to families and can only imagine what you went through.

always puts a smile on my face reading about cancer survivors

 

[ChiliPepper]

So very very sorry to hear this Laurent.. He sounds like a good man. From your description, he sounds a bit like my dad.
Follow his lead now and be an example to others on how to live with "life in your years", it's the best way to both honor him and to pass on his example.
My deepest condolences.

Thanks Matthew!

Sorry for your loss.. but you can take heart because I am certain that his faith was important to him and a source of comfort through this ordeal.. and just think.. I know tis sounds morbid.. but if you are fortunate and blessed as well as being a blessing.. one day your son will do the same for you. I am at that stage now where I see my parent's mortality .. but i also am more aware of my own.. That favorite quote of your dad's from Lincoln is priceless.

Thank you so much. I hope i can be a good father for my kids one day, I was very fortunate to have such a great dad.

For you to of had your Father for over 60 years is a gift and there many who wish they knew their father, some lost them when they were young etc. Remember him for who he was, what he taught you, and be thankful for the years you had.

This Saturday 12/29/12 will be the one year mark of my Father's passing. He was a strong man who was hunting and walked miles the week of his death. He had never been in a hospital or sick besides the flu in 78 years. He fell ill over Christmas and died 4 days later when they said he would be fine and was looking forward to going home.
I miss him every second of everyday but stay strong by focusing on him and what he was to me, my life as well as our family.

Stay strong. Peace to you.

Thanks a lot! I think that's a great attitude I try to remember all the good stuff. Fortunately, the positive far outweighs the negative.

i'm sorry about your dad.

I'm very sorry to read about your loss, Laurent.

I lost my dad almost 35 years ago, and my mom about 20.

The grief will demand its share of your time, but don't you let it take one second more.

Think of the good things in the past, and look forward towards your sister's wedding.

Your father has a son to be very proud of; I know, because I've met you.

You will see him again.

Sincerely, Mike.

Thank you so much Mike, your post made me choke up.

 

[Solarmist]

I'm so sorry. I'm glad he was a man of faith.