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Fair enough, but you are more professional than many.I'm in one band where we replaced our very good drummer with my husband who was not as experienced, due to some personal issues the former drummer was having. We changed the name of the band after that but that's beside the point. What I'm going to say here will be a shock to many but it is true- musicians who are married are not joined at the hip and if they are adults they can have disagreements over musical choices and still remain committed to the project.
My husband had a long way to go to fill the shoes of the guy who preceded him and at times I was not sure he was up to the task. I've had to coach him and bring him along, and if at any point I'd had an inkling that the other two guys were losing patience with the situation to a degree at which it risked breaking up the band, I would have fired him. It would have broken my heart to do it but he needed to rise to the level we needed and if he wasn't able, at some point the problem would be fixed. He always knew that going in and he always knew he would be challenged.
Yep, that's right, I would have fired my own husband from my own band. Please stop assuming that musicians in a relationship are a fixed team. If they are adults who are there to serve the music and do a job that makes the audience happy, they are not necessarily always in agreement over what that looks like.
Are you being obtuse on purpose?'Play what everyone knows' doesn't mean 'Play what everyone knows'. Gottit
I'm in one band where we replaced our very good drummer with my husband who was not as experienced, due to some personal issues the former drummer was having. We changed the name of the band after that but that's beside the point. What I'm going to say here will be a shock to many but it is true- musicians who are married are not joined at the hip and if they are adults they can have disagreements over musical choices and still remain committed to the project.
My husband had a long way to go to fill the shoes of the guy who preceded him and at times I was not sure he was up to the task. I've had to coach him and bring him along, and if at any point I'd had an inkling that the other two guys were losing patience with the situation to a degree at which it risked breaking up the band, I would have fired him. It would have broken my heart to do it but he needed to rise to the level we needed and if he wasn't able, at some point the problem would be fixed. He always knew that going in and he always knew he would be challenged.
Yep, that's right, I would have fired my own husband from my own band. Please stop assuming that musicians in a relationship are a fixed team. If they are adults who are there to serve the music and do a job that makes the audience happy, they are not necessarily always in agreement over what that looks like.
Doing “deep dive” set lists may be more fun for the band. But doing more than two or three non A-list numbers per set won’t fly with many audiences unless they’re actually listening to the band - because the band made the effort to connect with their audience.
A lot of cover bands I’ve seen act more like faceless jukeboxes and just crank out songs along with a little half hearted banter every so often. That is not going to engage an audience or get them on your side enough to follow you where you want to lead them.
Another big reason I’ve seen that many bands will choose to stick to the usual list of standards plus whatever is currently trending is because they mostly play venues where there’s a lot of dancing. And the issue you run into with that is how many people, or maybe even most people, simply won’t dance to songs they don’t already know very well. So a lot of what you can get away with on your set list also depends on the nature of the audience the venue attracts.
My wife and I also are in the band together. She is the vocalist (and main attraction, these days). We do not operate as a voting bloc, ever. That just sounds dysfunctional.
i've seen bands who played music i can best describe as dreary. while some people head to the bar while they are playing, more head to the bathroom or out the door.
Lead singers are usually impossible to move on song selection. I would hit the ejection seat button for myself
Time for band discussion. Bring up your concerns. Not "these songs suck", but you think the band should be playing more well known tunes.
If you can make an instrumental band work for you, great!So true. Agree all you want on song selection, at the end of the day they'll push out any songs they don't like, regardless of number of upvotes. My next band will be an instrumental one. If I'm gonna be in a non-marketable band, at least it'll save me the headache of dealing with a prima donna singer.
It always amazes me that, out of the many thousands of hit songs out there through the years, bands seem to opt for the two extremes of either:
- playing the same 45 tired songs that every band had been playing since 1979 or,
- playing songs that nobody has ever heard.
Tell your singer that there are many well-known tunes that aren't on the list of 45 overdone songs, and that the band will have better success if you attempt to draw from that pool of tunes rather than doing obscure B sides.
If that doesn't work, either fire the singer, get someone else to pick tunes, or poach the other players and start your own band.
+1A quick bit of advice, You'll find it easier to find a band with the attitude you want than change the attitude of the band you are in.
Sounds like you need to stop playing Mustang Sally, or start playing Mustang Sally.
Great question. Chemistry has to be there for me.OP, maybe the set list isn't the biggest issue. Maybe you just don't vibe with the rest of the band? Honest question.
That’s my experience too.yes, it's dysfunctional, but in my experience, couples are more likely to back each others' ideas than not - no matter how bad those ideas are
Excellent point. The saying “Don’t make it personal, don’t take it personally” applies.Every decision must be for the betterment of the band and its potential to re-book.
My mate has an instrumental band that does Jazz, Motown & some modern Pop songs. For the premium gigs They have a guest singer for half the songs. They pick one, but have 4 singers they can call on & choose from based on the venue, function, style of music, audience, etc.My next band will be an instrumental one. If I'm gonna be in a non-marketable band, at least it'll save me the headache of dealing with a prima donna singer.
So true. Agree all you want on song selection, at the end of the day they'll push out any songs they don't like, regardless of number of upvotes. My next band will be an instrumental one. If I'm gonna be in a non-marketable band, at least it'll save me the headache of dealing with a prima donna singer.
Lead singers are usually impossible to move on song selection. I would hit the ejection seat button for myself
The only cover we currently play is the hokey pokey (@ 130bpm) It gets the crowd going every time.....
And, that’s what it’s all about.