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Set List, Show, or just 'Wing it?"

Written set list for sure. Minimize dead air between songs, as others have said. We need to work on stringing groups of 3-4 together. I’m always impressed by bands that can end a song on the “1” and count “2-3-4” right into the next one.

Speaking of between song banter, I noticed something annoying at my friends’ gig last weekend… at the end of nearly ever song, the singer would immediately let out a “woohoo… thank you!”… before anybody was even clapping. It really started grating on my nerves for some reason. It struck me as an insecurity reflex, and then I realized that I myself am guilty of doing this as well. Just Finish the song and start the next one. Occasionally thank the crowd after the applause dies down
 
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I'm currently playing in a bass, guitar, drums band with a female lead singer. She doesn't play an instrument and sings 90% of the songs. I would have concerns she could blow her voice out in the first set if required to sing multiple songs back to back.
 
I'm the BL, but I asked my lead singer to build our setlists because he has to sing them. We usually get them a week or so ahead of the gig so everyone can chime in, get their various devices setup, and brush them up a bit ahead of time. They are subject to change during the gig depending on time constraints, requests, crowd service, etc. And we usually will use the same basic setlist for several shows, with minor changes as needed, and then shuffle it up for the next several shows.
 
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We have two setlists arranged in the 2-3 song groups. All aimed at 5-10 seconds of silence between songs, preferably less. We also have a similar song or another song by the same artist for about 80% of every song in the setlist. This gives us wiggle room to read the room ("Do yo guys want another one from KISS?" "YEeEeaaaabllerghh"!) and in some cases we can lean the whole setlist to a different direction if people seem to respond better to modern music or oldies or something like that. Then a couple slow songs ready to throw in anywhere if the situation calls it.

All arranged into a lovely, Lovely, collaborative excel sheet with songs color coded for different styles and moods. Sheet has different pages for the actual setlist, different page for practice with key changes or special notes for the arrangements. Another page for potential new arrivals for the setlist. And also because I love statistics, another page just to collect data on how a song was received, songs listed by the year released to allow us to get in to the nostalgia nerve of every generation and so on...

TL;DR
Setlist. Every time.
 
My band always has a setlist, and we also know which songs we'll take a break after and which we'll jump right into the next one. For upcoming shows, we practice the setlist relentlessly and we also have some alternate songs to replace others depending on the vibe of the gig. I like that approach and it worked well for us on a mini-tour we did.

The previous band I was in was a wedding band and kind of winged it. I didn't like that because we had to pull up charts and I felt it came across as unprofessional. It's good to be somewhat flexible, but to me winging it wastes time that could be spent playing a tune.

To each their own though; I think there's times when winging it could work.
 
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...
So the question is: Do you gigging guys use a written out setlist, or do you do an actual show in which each set is preset to ebb and flow, etc., or do you just wing it?

Good question!

I think I've always used a set-list. The only times I remember not having one is my mates and I going out busking with acoustic guitars. Reality is that was more an excuse to go to the pub!! In my original bands way back when it was normally a pseudo-democratic process - BL would propose and as a band we would just get on with it, barring any vuiolent disagreements. In one band we had a non-performing writer/lyricist - as a band we would come up with what we wanted to do and he had final 'approval', limited veto and 'casting vote' if necessary. He was (still is) a nice fella that we all deeply respected so it worked for us, thankfully.

For my current cover band I put the sets together and the others trust me on that. I try to use dynamics, key, tempo and feel/mood of the songs to create structure and flow when putting a set together. Selfishly, I also have to consider instrument changes - I don't really want to be changing bass every song although that usually works out OK. Having done it many times now smaller 'chunks' have emerged - 3 or 4 "chansons qui vont très bien ensemble". It makes life much easier!! The difficult part now is slotting new stuff in - quite often a new song won't fit easily without a couple of additional new ones to go with it. Happy days!
 
We have setlist so everyone is prepared to play those songs. For timed gigs like casinos we have emergency songs in case we need to fill out the time or we'll cut a song or 2 if we run out of time but keep the same big finish closers. We pay careful attention if we are playing with a tribute band not to play songs the other band will play.
For the more free style blues gigs we have set list but will sometimes play them out of order if we want to keep the audience on the dance floor. Once in a while we will do a request if we know it and they tip us good.
Both situations we make sure the key of one song flows nicely into the key of the next song and there is no dead air between songs or milling around on stage waiting for the frontman to tell us what to do next.
 
We had written-out, hard-and-fast set lists which had possible alternates (if the set was going good or bad).

We did a "show". The songs had a flow, but we also allowed for some flexibility.

We got along so well we could even have "breaks" where the three of us would banter and playfully break each other's chops ... in some venues.

For the most part, our performance was pretty rigid and it got more so as time went on and venues changed.
 
We always use a set list, with an occasional change. There are seven members in our band and six of us share the lead singer role. Our BL carefully picks songs for each singer that play to our individual vocal strengths. When we are not singing lead we are singing harmony, and this plan seems to work well for us. The BL always gives each member veto power on their songs with the understanding that if you want to cut one of your songs at the last minute, you need to replace it with another one of your songs.

Thump on,

One_Dude
 
For bigger shows & festivals we will work off a set list. for most weekend shows we usually make it up as we go.
That being said the band has a big repertorie and we tend to tailor the songs that night to what the crowd wants ie maybe its more of a country crowd then we go a little heavier on the country songs etc.
When we call an audible we make sure it makes sense in regards to the overall set list - ie dont play too many slow songs all at once - or songs with the same rhythm etc
Once we get the energy of the crowd up we dont want to lose it by making a bad choice. Our choice is always based around what would make a better show.
my two cents
 
We have a list of available songs, but it only acts as a library of what's possible. We generally politely reject requests for songs we've never played together, but if pressed, we put our heads together and usually come up with the chord progression because one of us is vaguely familiar, having played that song in another band at some point. We've been together for about 12 years, so our usable list of songs is pretty extensive and always expanding, and we generally take turns (we're a trio) choosing a song based on the room, mood, circumstances, etc. The interesting thing is, we usually end up playing the same songs in pretty much the same order almost every gig, and our "regulars" don't seem to mind a bit.
 
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